Jesalin Creswell's Blog - Posts Tagged "growing-up"
The Lure of History
The Lure of History
My childhood was one of constant travel and change. My family moved between London and Sydney, causing me to be the New Kid on more than one painful occasion. I was quiet, self conscious, and found forming friendship difficult. This was especially true as I began to discover that my young burgeoning crushes on classmates were not like the other girls’– I was very clearly not interested in any of the boys in the class. Needless to say, I spent a lot of time pretending to be invisible.
Luckily, there existed a place where I could go and hide my confusion and fears. Books.
I discovered the magic of a cool library on a hot Australian afternoon, where the towering books offered me a second home. I still remember the way I sunk down into the first comfortable chair I found, a large romance story on my knee, feeling able to finally relax after weeks of angst. I loved that first moment of opening a new story, eager to see what world I was going to discover that day, and what new friend I was going to meet.
My favorite books of all were historical in nature. The pomp of ancient Rome, the grandeur of Regency England, the struggle of American pioneers. These wonderful histories were awash with exciting times and events, where people struggled to figure out who they were and what they wanted their world to become. For a young girl questioning everything about herself, it was hugely comforting to read that while times were not always easy, Happily Ever Afters were possible. If other women had found their way out of much trickier situations, I figured I could make it through High School.
I did eventually leave the library. As with most things, age made things better. I grew out of my awkwardness (mostly, although my partner may lovingly disagree) and went on to pursue my own adventures. I found the joy of being in a loving relationship with a woman, achieved my dream of becoming a teacher, and moved to my permanent home in the United States. After all my struggles, I am now able to help other students find their way in those vulnerable, confusing years.
But while time inevitably brought changes, I think that all those hours spent reading historical fiction was really what helped me blossom. The more I read about the passionate, strong women who made up our past, the more I felt confident in my own skin. This was especially true as I read stories on gay and lesbian history. I realized that there were people like me who had achieved happiness and contentment, even if they had a rough road to walk upon.
Today, I write Victorian romances because I remember how much historical fiction helped me grow as a kid. I hope other young women read these stories and realize that love is universal, and it is a beautiful thing to fight for, no matter where or when you happen to live.
My childhood was one of constant travel and change. My family moved between London and Sydney, causing me to be the New Kid on more than one painful occasion. I was quiet, self conscious, and found forming friendship difficult. This was especially true as I began to discover that my young burgeoning crushes on classmates were not like the other girls’– I was very clearly not interested in any of the boys in the class. Needless to say, I spent a lot of time pretending to be invisible.
Luckily, there existed a place where I could go and hide my confusion and fears. Books.
I discovered the magic of a cool library on a hot Australian afternoon, where the towering books offered me a second home. I still remember the way I sunk down into the first comfortable chair I found, a large romance story on my knee, feeling able to finally relax after weeks of angst. I loved that first moment of opening a new story, eager to see what world I was going to discover that day, and what new friend I was going to meet.
My favorite books of all were historical in nature. The pomp of ancient Rome, the grandeur of Regency England, the struggle of American pioneers. These wonderful histories were awash with exciting times and events, where people struggled to figure out who they were and what they wanted their world to become. For a young girl questioning everything about herself, it was hugely comforting to read that while times were not always easy, Happily Ever Afters were possible. If other women had found their way out of much trickier situations, I figured I could make it through High School.
I did eventually leave the library. As with most things, age made things better. I grew out of my awkwardness (mostly, although my partner may lovingly disagree) and went on to pursue my own adventures. I found the joy of being in a loving relationship with a woman, achieved my dream of becoming a teacher, and moved to my permanent home in the United States. After all my struggles, I am now able to help other students find their way in those vulnerable, confusing years.
But while time inevitably brought changes, I think that all those hours spent reading historical fiction was really what helped me blossom. The more I read about the passionate, strong women who made up our past, the more I felt confident in my own skin. This was especially true as I read stories on gay and lesbian history. I realized that there were people like me who had achieved happiness and contentment, even if they had a rough road to walk upon.
Today, I write Victorian romances because I remember how much historical fiction helped me grow as a kid. I hope other young women read these stories and realize that love is universal, and it is a beautiful thing to fight for, no matter where or when you happen to live.
