Abbe Greenberg's Blog

One of our favorite mantras is “I can do hard things.” Anxiety can certainly bring us to our knees, and cause us to forget our strength and resilience, but we are psychologically hardwired to persevere. Still, we all need a reminder that we have done hard things (yes, everyone has) and lived through it. If you think about it, your track record for making it through hard days is 100%!

Recently, I was quite anxious about recording the audio book of The Anxiety Sisters’ Survival Guide. I had dyslexia and speech impediments growing up, and the idea of reading in front of the studio staff and the director seemed impossible. So I called my DAB (Designated Anxiety Buddy), and Abs reminded me, “You can do hard things.” I didn’t really buy it, truth be told, but I did what Abs said and kept repeating this mantra to myself over and over. The next week, I went into the recording studio and, even though I stumbled a bit, I did do it. “See?” Abs said. “You can do hard things.” True, but the real lesson for me that day was that I can do hard things with support.

Some of you may remember that I was so nervous about going into the recording studio that I reached out on Facebook to our Anxiety Sisters’ community. Many, many people cheered me on in all sorts of ways, and I deeply felt the support of the community. One person commented that I did not need to be perfect, just authentic. Other folks shared their experiences and gave me confidence. I carried this support with me into the studio, and it helped so much.

When I arrived at the recording studio, I was met by a lovely sound engineer and an incredible director. I shared my anxiety with them and they too were so kind and helpful. Throughout the recording sessions, the director gave me so much support, I actually ended up enjoying the process.

So, while I made the audio recording successfully, I didn’t do it alone. The Anxiety Sisterhood encouraged me, Abs gave me useful guidance, and the director was with me every step of the way. I was able to do something very hard for me because of so much emotional support.

For many of us, certain hard things seem impossible. For example, when I was fearful of driving (especially on the highway and in the rain), I could not see how I would be able to do it ever again. I blamed myself and felt weak. It wasn’t until I worked with an exposure therapist and went on medication that I could successfully overcome this phobia. I did the exposure therapy (driving on the highway) alone—which was one of the hardest things I’ve ever attempted—but I had a therapist (and Abs) to help me through it. I may have been alone in the car, but I was not alone in the struggle.

Why am I telling you these stories? Because I think so many of us feel that when we can’t do something hard, we are to blame. We call ourselves all sorts of mean names and question our abilities. Then we enter that awful shame spiral which only exacerbates our doubts and anxiety.

If shame is about feeling outcast or isolated from the herd, connecting is what we need to do to alleviate it. We should start asking ourselves if we need support when it comes to doing a hard thing, and, if so, where can we get that support? (Hint: our Sisterhood is often a good place to start.) Because the truth is, we are all in this world of hard things together—no human being gets out without suffering and struggling and feeling alone.

Abs and I always say that Anxiety Sisters don’t go it alone. We mean it. We can all do hard things, but we need other people (and pets) to help us.  

The post Hard Things appeared first on Anxiety Sisters.

The biggest perk of being in a large community is the tremendous wealth of resources in the form of life experience we all bring to the table. We recently asked our Facebook group to share some advice about managing anxiety, particularly during the pandemic. As always, our community responded with thoughtful, smart, and practical suggestions. The following is a sample of the responses we received:

Question Your Thoughts

As one anxiety sister said, “Your anxious brain will lie to you.” So, you have to be able to recognize and question your perceptions. Another anxiety sister confirmed this by pointing out that thinking you know the outcome of a situation or the motivation of another person does not make it true. As we love to say to each other and anyone else who will listen, “Thoughts are not facts!”

Talk to Yourself

It seems as though we are not the only people who spend a good amount of time talking to ourselves. Many anxiety sisters, it turns out, are big believers in using mantras, prayer, and affirmations to get them through anxious times. Some of the phrases that came up over and over were “I am safe,” “I am okay,” “Keep breathing,” and “This will pass.” Remember that your brain will listen to your own voice above all others so don’t be afraid to soothe yourself out loud. Luckily, with everyone being on wireless phones all the time, nobody thinks anything of people talking to themselves!

Distract Yourself

An excellent way to manage anxiety (particularly GAD) is distraction. So many anxiety sisters wrote in that they are helped by hobbies such as crafting, coloring, gardening, cooking, painting, etc.). We heard many times that keeping your hands busy is one way to prevent “busy” mind (getting stuck in anxious thoughts). We couldn’t agree with this more—Abs loves to color and Mags loves needlework—and we both carry crafts in our Spin Kits.

  Music

Many people commented on the healing power of music. Some folks play instruments like the piano or guitar. Others love to listen to music to soothe themselves; quite a few mentioned their own calming playlists. And lots of anxiety sisters sing. One woman, when she’s feeling anxious, sings “Let it Go” from Frozen (a great movie and an even better mantra).  Another belts out theme songs from The Jetsons and other old tv shows. Abs has been known to hum the entire Millennium album from the Backstreet Boys when the going gets rough.

Walk Outside

Research confirms what a lot of our anxiety sisters wrote us: nature and movement are powerful anxiety soothers. Lots of members of our community brought up the importance of spending time outside. Just breathing the fresh air can do a lot to calm down a revved up nervous system.

Sleep

We got so much feedback about the importance of getting enough rest/sleep. In fact, several anxiety sisters even changed jobs in order to have better sleep habits. Napping is a big anxiety soother in our community—even five to ten-minute cat naps seem to help. A few folks told us they cut back on sugar and caffeine, especially later in the day, in order to make falling asleep easier.

Breathe and/or Meditate

No surprises here. Lots of anxiety sisters rely on breathwork and/or meditation practices to alleviate anxiety. One anxiety sister commented that “Long, slow, deep breaths are free and can be done anywhere.” Another said, “Calm breaths lead to a calm brain.” Others raved about the benefits of meditation, which we 100% encourage. Life changing for both of us!

Practice Gratitude

As one anxiety sister stated, “It is hard to be anxious and grateful at the same time.” Another anxiety sister has made it a practice to tell a friend one thing she is grateful for every day. Several anxiety sisters keep gratitude lists or journals to look at when anxiety is overwhelming them. In addition to practicing gratitude, many anxiety sisters found that volunteering or doing for others helps them feel less anxious.

Tickle Your Funnybone

According to our community, laughter is indeed the best medicine. We heard stories about watching favorite sitcoms like Friends and The Office as well as viewing funny videos on YouTube. One anxiety sister repeats lines from the movie Young Frankenstein when her anxiety starts to take over. Another calls her friend who “is so hilarious she can make anyone laugh at any time.”

Be Kind to Yourself

Last but certainly not least, several anxiety sisters commented that it is important to be good to yourself. Many talked about the importance of taking time for ourselves and treating ourselves as well as we treat other people. One person gave the advice “Live a gentle life” and we could not agree more!

We know we left so many wonderful tips out so please feel free to share your own ideas with the sisterhood. Remember, you are an excellent resource for every other member of our community.

The post Community Wisdom appeared first on Anxiety Sisters.

Are you a Sensory Sister?  It seems many Anxiety Sisters are. For example, if you are like Abs, you can smell odors that most of us do not notice. This hypersensitivity is great when you are trying to figure out what your teenager was up to last night, but not so terrific on, say, public transportation, which already is pretty stinky. Overall, Abs finds her super sniffer to be more problematic then not, which is why she carries lavender aromatherapy everywhere she goes.

Or maybe it’s your eyes that make you a Sensory Sister. We know several people who have to wear dark glasses, even indoors, because their eyes are hypersensitive to certain types of lighting. I definitely am extra-sensitive to bright sunlight and experience terrible headaches when there is a “white” sky.

Here are some other ways sensory issues are expressed:

An adverse reaction to certain textures. You may feel like you cannot tolerate labels on clothing or seams on socks. Certain fabrics and materials may feel so uncomfortable that you cannot bear wearing them.A precarious sense of where your body is in space and/or trouble with balance (not caused by physical issues such as inner ear problems). You may feel wobbly or shaky in certain environments. As such, you may experience motion sickness very easily.Difficulty with certain strong tastes or food textures/temperature. You may gag easily or find that the “feel” of a certain food in your mouth causes anxiety. As such, you may find yourself limiting your diet.An adverse reaction to sounds and noises. You may find that you cannot tolerate loud tv shows or crowded environments like restaurants, bars and parties. For some, even certain types of voices can be anxiety-provoking. If you find yourself feeling angry or enraged by chewing, slurping, keys jangling, etc., you may be suffering from misophonia. A strong reaction to touch. Some people with this sensitivity crave deep touch but cannot stand light touch and vice versa. I find weighted blankets to be calming, while Abs finds them so claustrophobic she starts to panic.

What all of these issues have in common is a more pronounced response to a sensory stimulus than is typical. For example, we all cringe when we hear nails on a chalkboard, but Sensory Sisters may recoil from the sound of chalk on a chalkboard. Or even markers on a whiteboard. It is a turbo-charged sensitivity to our surroundings that seems to affect anxiety sufferers more than other humans.

It makes sense that Anxiety Sisters are extra alert to our environment. After all, we have hypervigilant nervous systems, which control our sensory perceptions and reactions. From an evolutionary perspective, our heightened senses meant that we were more attuned to our environment and therefore more adept at sensing danger. For example, we could hear an approaching predator or smell poisonous food. While this ability may have been life-saving for our ancestors—back when life was so precarious—it can cause tremendous anxiety in our current lives because we never know when our senses might be “assaulted.” And the result of these assaults can be debilitating.

Don’t despair, Sensory Sisters! We have a few suggestions to make things easier:

Carry a Spin Kit. Basically, these are anxiety first-aid kits and can be tremendously useful when you are trying to manage sensory issues. Make sure you have some sensory soothers in your kit such as essential oils, noise-cancelling headphones, an eye pillow, or dark glasses. The idea behind a Spin Kit is that you are prepared for an unpredictable assault on your senses. You can read more about Spin Kits here.

Pre-soothe your senses. If you know you will be in a situation that will trigger your sensory issues, it can be really helpful to do some activities beforehand that will soothe your senses. For instance, if you are very sensitive to noise but have to attend a gathering, taking a walk in nature before the event will give you some quiet time before the storm. This type of preparation can help your sensory system organize itself and get ready for intense stimulation. Likewise, meditation is a nice way to calm your nervous system before exposing it to triggers.

Take a break. If you find yourself in an overly-stimulating situation, don’t be afraid to step away for a few moments at a time to allow your brain to reset. We both take frequent outdoor “breaks” from big parties to help us feel less overwhelmed. Even just a five-minute breather makes a big difference.

Work with an Occupational Therapist. If you are really struggling with sensory-overloads, you may need professional help. OTs are specifically trained to teach people how to deal with their sensory issues. Just a handful of appointments might be extremely helpful in learning how to better manage your sensory challenges.

Of course, even those Anxiety Sisters who are not particularly sensory-sensitive (lucky ducks!) can become so during times of panic. When we are spinning out of control, many of us are thrown off by noise, light, textures, and smells so it’s a pretty good idea to keep your Spin Kit well-stocked and close by.

How do you manage your sensory challenges?

 

The post Sensory Overload appeared first on Anxiety Sisters.

We just want to start with a bit of honesty: we hate wearing face masks. They make us feel like we can’t breathe and they make our faces sweaty. Also, they scare Abs’ grandkids. So, overall, wearing a face covering sucks—a lot. Especially for Anxiety Sisters.

That said, face masks during a global pandemic are absolutely essential. Scientific models show that if 80 percent of us wore face masks 80 percent of the time, we could greatly reduce the spread of COVID-19 (and other illnesses too). In fact, one Texas A&M study revealed that, in New York, where face masks are required and compliance is high, more than 66,000 cases of infection were prevented in one month. They also found that not wearing a mask dramatically increases the chances of contracting COVID-19.

To summarize, if we want to be socially responsible and prevent ourselves from contracting the illness, we really have to wear the masks. But, we do have to acknowledge that face masks can also be really difficult, even terrifying, for many of us Anxiety Sisters.

People already dealing with panic know what it is like to struggle to breathe. Put a mask on top of a panic attack and things only feel worse. We often tell panic sufferers to cool down and/or loosen all constraints–in other words, the exact opposite of what it feels like to wear a mask. Likewise, people with PTSD—especially those surviving sexual or physical violence and/or violent crime—may feel especially vulnerable. If someone has had the experience of being muted, muffled, or restricted physically, masks can be so triggering.

We have some ideas for mask wearers with anxiety (including us). We hope they help.

1) Try putting a drop of essential oil on your mask.  Many Anxiety Sisters use lavender which is soothing and has a pleasant smell.

2) Find a mask that feels most comfortable for you. There are so many types ranging from paper to various fabrics. Experiment with a couple of different ones to find the right fit.

3) Feel free to express yourself creatively by buying a mask with a pretty design. Etsy has so many sellers who are happy to make inexpensive masks in every color and pattern. (Abs wears a mask with cat whiskers and a heart-shaped nose.)

4) Think about using a clear shield. We just tried one and it covers our eyes too. They also help breathing feel less restricted.

5) Bring your spin kit when you are out. Have plenty of soothers to help when the face masks feel overwhelming.

6) Take breaks as you need them. Going outside for a few minutes where you can take off your mask (if it is not crowded) can really help.

We also want you to remember that you are not alone. So many people are struggling right now in so many ways. If masks are triggering you, please have self-compassion. Let yourself know that your mask is protecting you and everyone around you, and be proud of yourself for doing something so uncomfortable.

We are here to offer you any support we can. This whole damn pandemic is so very hard. The only way to get through this is by being kind to ourselves and to each other.

The post Masked Anxiety appeared first on Anxiety Sisters.

As the world continues to deal with the coronavirus pandemic, health officials are recommending social-distancing and self-quarantine practices to slow the spread of the disease. This means, for the foreseeable future, we’ll be spending a lot more time at home. Our daily routines will shift, we’ll be without the face-to-face social contact that helps keep us feeling connected and positive, and we’ll need to adjust to this new normal.

That’s why now, more than ever before, prioritizing emotional and mental health is so important. Luckily, there are so many things you can do at home to show yourself some love and boost positivity. Not only are these practices a great way to manage anxiety, but they can also help you stay healthy and give your days more structure.

To help you get started, we’ve rounded up some of the best self-care tips from professionals in the self-care and wellness field that you can start practicing today.

Be kind to yourself 

One of the best self-care tips you can follow right now is to be kind to yourself. While there is a lot you can’t control, you can, at the very least, pay attention to your feelings and practice self-compassion.

Try this: 
No one can figure all this out in one week. Give yourself a little grace and remember you are resilient! – Martha Rosado, Owner,  Anxiety Specialist Counseling Center

Even people who don’t usually struggle with anxiety are experiencing more worry and anxiety now. So, practice self-compassion and don’t be too hard on yourself if you’re experiencing more anxiety than usual. – Anxiety Canada

Limit information intake and screen time

While it’s important to remain informed, if you spend your entire day watching and thinking about the news, it creates a mindset of powerlessness and panic. Taking a break from it all can help reduce stress and give your mind room for positive thinking.

Try this: 
It’s important to put time limits on media exposure to avoid feeling overwhelmed. –  Kevin L. Gyoerkoe, Psy.D, The Anxiety and OCD Treatment Center

Set a timer on your phone and when it goes off walk away, play with your kids, take a walk outside, play a game, or do a guided meditation. The amount of information we are taking in right now can be overwhelming and counterproductive to making the best choices for ourselves. – Angela Saeger, Cedar Point Therapy

Create and stick to a daily routine 

With so much change, it’s crucial that you try to maintain your routine as best you can. Doing so can give your days more structure, purpose, and hopefully a bit of normalcy.

Try this:  
Schedule your exercise, work, and food at a specific time and it will give you a balanced day. – Yvonne Phillips, Feng Shui World

Your morning and bedtime routines are particularly important. Get your kids dressed, spend time on schoolwork, play, and connect with loved ones via technology (virtual dinner parties!). – NW Anxiety Institute

Reduce stress and anxiety with meditation and deep breathing 

For most people, anxiety levels are rising as the days go by. However, panicking and stressing provide no protection against this crisis. If anything, doing so makes you more vulnerable. The immune system can’t function at its highest potential when the mind is worrying.

Try this: 
Take care of your nervous system and reduce your anxiety with a practice such as the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) Tapping. EFT Tapping can support you so that your body is able to handle the electrical load of the huge amounts of stress we find ourselves in. I am also sharing a free EFT meditation that anyone can download and practice by themselves. – Damla Aktekin, Vibrational Healer, A Drop Of Om

Other than chocolate and wine, our self-care tip is to go to our website and press our “panic button.” Don’t worry–no one will show up at your door–it’s just a recording of us talking you through your anxiety. It’s anonymous and free so press away! – Abs & Mags, The Anxiety Sisters

Find a quiet place for a few minutes to focus on your breath to ground yourself and increase feelings of calm and relaxation. – Mindful Soul Center for Wellbeing

Several times a day, pause to do some conscious breathing. Relax, be very still, and then silently count out ten slow deep breaths. For that short period, focus your undivided attention on the passage and feel of your in-breath and your out-breath. – Morgan Dix, Cofounder, About Meditation & the One Mind Podcast

Deep breaths connect us to our whole selves, deliver much-needed oxygen to our cells, and keep us present. Aromatherapy with pure essential oils in addition to mindful breathing is a treat for our respiratory system and can lift the mood. – Amanda May-Fitzgerald, Owner, Wild at Heart

Don’t forget to stay active

Social distancing doesn’t mean you have to lounge around on the couch all day. Moving your body for 30 minutes a day is a great self-care practice to get endorphins flowing and boost energy.

Try this:  
Aerobic exercise and resistance training are my go-to activities to reduce anxiety levels. There are a ton of free high-quality home workouts on YouTube. One work out will improve your day greatly. – Salmon Ptasevich, Anxiety Social Net

You can practice self-care and boost alertness by waking up with a meditation or morning stretch. I’ve made it more enjoyable by misting our Wanderlust Room & Linen spray on the yoga mat before practice or around me before I begin a meditation. It’s calming essential oils of organic Lavender and Ylang Ylang. – Aba T. Gyepi-Garbrah, Aba Love Apothecary 

Use this time to make note of the positives in your life

As the world deals with uncertain times, it can be easy to look at this entire experience negatively. But what if you paused and decided to focus on the positives instead? What if you used this time to be grateful for all the good in your life?

Try this:
This is a great opportunity to slow down, be present and have gratitude for moments that we oftentimes take for granted, like taking a leisurely walk or having more time with kids, partners or pets. – Lori O’Mara, LCSW, CST, Cope Better Therapy

Evaluate opportunities for self-growth

All of this free time provides the perfect opportunity for introspection. Maybe for years, you’ve wanted to start meditating, or maybe you’ve always wanted to read more. No time is greater than the present to tackle some goals and make changes you’ve always wanted to.

Try this:
Think about what changes you are making that improve your well-being. How can you keep up those habits when the crisis passes? – New Dream

Use this time of rest as an opportunity to let go. Assess the life you’ve been living and what you would like to change. Start by looking within. How can you declutter your mind, body, AND spirit during this virus? What positive things can you add to your life to help you get through this? – Kristin Fehrman, Mindful In Style

Boost your immunity

Unfortunately, we don’t yet know how to fully prevent or manage the damage caused by the coronavirus. However, this doesn’t mean our efforts are completely hopeless. In addition to staying home, there are a number of simple self-care tips and practices you can incorporate to boost immunity and improve your health.

Try this: 
Sea salt baths are a great self-care tip to reduce stress and enhance immunity. They increase mineral levels and lower inflammation. I am also a huge fan of castor oil packs, placed directly on the abdomen or the liver because they pull toxins out of the body and can be done while laying down or relaxing. – Mindful Health

Don’t let the fear and panic get under your skin. Every time you worry or surf the net looking for the updates, your cortisol level (stress hormone) goes up, and stress is not your immunity’s best friend. – Zara Martirosyan, CEO & Founder, inKin Social Fitness Platform

Intervals in the shower between cold and warm temperatures. To boost your immune system do 1-minute warm followed by 15 seconds cold.- Dennis Simsek, The Anxiety Guy 

Remember – YOU ARE NOT ALONE

It’s vital to stay connected during this time. Practice this self-care tip by video chatting with your grandparents or having a virtual dinner party with your friends.

Try this: 
Social distancing does not mean social isolation. Isolation is highly risky behavior for anyone, especially given the anxiety and fear that has been embedded in the overall social reactivity. Creatively reframe the phrase self-quarantine to safe social connection. – Barry Philson, Ph.D., Barry Pilson Therapy

Realize we are all part of a community and we’re all in this together, from New York City to Sacramento (and everywhere in between). We’ll only come out stronger and more united in the end. Do things to help others in your community who may be in need, who may have difficulties helping themselves.

Try this: 
Some teenagers/young adults are seeing how they can help the elderly in their neighborhoods with grocery runs, etc.- Dr. Daniel Binus, MD, Beautiful Minds Medical 

 

Redfin does not provide medical advice
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If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately. Redfin does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned on Redfin’s blog. Reliance on any information provided by Redfin’s blog, by persons appearing on Redfin’s blog at the invitation of Redfin’s blog, or by other members is solely at your own risk.

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The post Taking Care of Yourself While Social Distancing appeared first on Anxiety Sisters.

We Anxiety Sisters are all too familiar with the “fight or flight” response that gets activated by our sympathetic nervous systems when we perceive a threat (real or imagined). You know what I mean—the surge of adrenaline that runs through your body making your heart beat faster, your breathing get heavier, your body heat up, your muscles tense, etc. This revved up response occurs because your brain evaluates the danger and decides you are able to either stand up to it (fight) or get away quickly (flight). Essentially, your brain is priming your body to do battle or escape.

There is a third possibility, however, that gets much less attention both in scientific study and in popular culture: the freeze response, which occurs when your brain decides that you cannot overcome or outrun the threat you are facing. In this instance, your body goes completely still or “freezes.” Evolutionarily, freezing is the equivalent of “playing dead” so that a predator might lose interest.

Anxiety Sisters often report feeling paralyzed by anxiety—numb, unable to move, disabled. This is the freeze response which results from the brain’s split-second assessment that neither standing your ground nor fleeing will protect you from the imminent danger it perceives.

The freeze response provides 2 benefits for the anxiety sufferer: (1) it allows her to turn away from or block out a truly frightening experience which may be too traumatic to process, and (2) freezing causes the release of endorphins, which act as calming agents and pain relievers to enable the sufferer to more comfortably handle the ordeal.

Dissociating or “floating,” as we prefer to call it, is another example of the freeze response. Floating is the sensation of being outside our own bodies or, as some Anxiety Sisters have described it, watching ourselves “from above.” As terrifying as this sounds, it is actually quite a common anxiety symptom. Floating is the brain’s way of protecting us from a situation too anxiety-provoking to bear. Your brain literally leaves the scene until the perceived threat dissipates.

So what do you do if you find yourself in freeze mode or floating? The following are strategies based on the technique of grounding, which is using your five senses to bring your mind back to the present:

Rub your hands together (generating heat and friction works so well)Splash cold water on your face (again, the temperature change is very effective)Suck on a peppermint candy (nasty as they are, Altoids are excellent grounders),Inhale a strong smell (Eucalyptus, Basil, Lavender, etc.)Tug on your hair (nothing brings your feet back to the ground quicker than a little physical discomfort!)Snap a rubber band against your wrist (the pain thing, again)Look at pictures of people/animals in your life.Stroke an object with a soft, soothing texture (Abs has a stuffed animal named Doug specifically for this purpose.) Worry stones are also great grounders.Listen to music with a strong beat, preferably through headphones. It’s hard to stay frozen when Eminem is in your ear!Knit, crochet, draw, color, etc. Using your hands to create is very grounding.Take an “Observer’s Walk”—a slow paced stroll during which you notice everything around you, including sounds, smells, temperature, etc.Talk to yourself: pick a mantra and say it over and over OUT LOUD (We like “This too shall pass,” “Be here now,” and “Just breathe”)

If you find yourself without props (this is why we recommend Spin Kits), you can do a simple, but very effective grounding exercise:

Describe (talk to yourself) or write down 5 things you can see right now.Describe 4 things you can feel/touch right now.Describe 3 sounds you can hear right now.Describe 2 things you can smell right now.Describe 1 thing you can taste right now.

By the time you finish the last step, you will have distracted yourself from the anxiety and brought yourself back into the current moment.

If you have any other ways of managing your freeze response, please let us know so we can share it with the Sisterhood…

The post Do You Freeze? appeared first on Anxiety Sisters.

Lately, I’ve been noticing a bit of a social media rebellion over the term “self-care” (especially in relation to dealing with anxiety or depression). Like other trendy “buzzwords,” I have often thought that the term “self-care” is used so much in our culture that it feels almost meaningless. It seems that every activity from manicures and bubble baths to exercise and specialized diets falls under the self-care rubric.

 

A friend and fellow Anxiety Sister is really struggling with the whole concept. To her, self care can be watching Netflix while eating her favorite ice cream. Or it can be going to the gym. Either way, too often she finds herself feeling worse—either about “indulging” herself or not pushing herself hard enough. “Self care just isn’t good for me!” she said.

 

Like my friend, many Anxiety Sisters find the cultural prescription for “self care” to be anxiety-provoking. Self care activities become additions to our already overly ambitious To Do lists and we feel a sense of failure when we cannot get them done. As if we do not already cope with enough BS (blame & shame)!

 

However, if we reframe the concept of self care (and rename it too), it can take on a different meaning. I like to think of the term “self connection” rather than self care. When we can connect back to ourselves, we replenish our energy and clear our busy minds. And connection is not as loaded a word as “care.”

 

Self connection, therefore, doesn’t have to be an activity or event (although it certainly can be—needlework is one way I connect with myself and Abs likes to color). It may involve something as small as taking a few deep breaths or cuddling with the dog. It may also be spending time in nature, praying, saying a mantra, or visualizing a special person or place. Self connection is not about doing things other people think will make us feel better. Self connection is about finding ourselves, even just for a moment, in the midst of all our challenges.

 

When we are feeling overwhelmed and cannot find ourselves, self connection can be about asking for help (or giving help to someone else).  Expressing gratitude or forgiveness can also help us reconnect. As Anxiety Sisters, we often say “don’t go it alone,” and we truly believe that connection with ourselves and others is so healing for all of us. So, if self-care is beginning to feel like a chore, try “self-connection” and see if that works better.

The post Does Self-Care Make You Anxious? appeared first on Anxiety Sisters.

I work in a public high school in New York City. That sentence alone might send a lot of anxiety sisters into a tailspin (high school + Manhattan = chaos…at least sometimes). I must admit that as an anxiety sister myself, I don’t always do the best job of making time to manage my anxiety. I know that daily meditation would do me a lot of good, but, frankly, I’m forgetful and lazy when it comes down to it.

Enter some well-timed students who are taking a class called “The Science of Yoga and Meditation.” They were looking for volunteers (including teachers) to help them with an experiment concerning the effects of meditation on memory. Knowing it would force me to meditate, I happily agreed to take part in the study.

Today was the first day of the experiment. A small group of students and a few of my colleagues sat in my classroom together in the dark while a student led us in a five-minute meditation. I was impressed not only with her very professional and calming voice but also with how calm I felt at the conclusion of the meditation session. I look forward to a few more weeks of these daily sessions, and I hope they will help me improve my anxiety levels and get me into a meditation routine.

With all of the stress that can be found in a school environment, I am so thrilled that students are starting to take control of their own mental health. These young women actually taught me something I should have already realized, which is how important it is to take time for yourself and breathe–particularly when it takes such a small commitment (five minutes!) to get immediate anxiety relief. If more teenagers make meditation part of their daily lives, it will go a long way in lessening their anxiety and making the learning environment more effective.

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“After years of trying everything, I finally decided to go on medication for my depression and anxiety. The first one I tried made me feel like I was climbing the walls. The second one did nothing for me at all. What medication do you think is best? I am starting to feel like nothing can help me.” Irene L.

We get emails like this all the time—like, every single day. Which makes sense because, like Irene, 50 percent of depression sufferers do not find the right medication (one that helps and has tolerable side effects) on the first try. In fact, many Anxiety Sisters we speak with are on their third or even fourth drug, which still isn’t working for them. What makes the situation even more difficult is that commonly prescribed medications like SSRIs/SNRIs (e.g., Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, Cymbalta, Pristiq, Effexor, etc.) take a month to 8 weeks (or more) to get into our systems, which means there is no immediate relief—only side effects and symptoms—for quite a long time. There is already so much suffering with a brain illness like depression; when medication fails to improve the situation, we completely understand why Irene and so many other Depression Sisters begin to despair.

Since everyone processes and responds to medication differently, there is no way for us to advise anyone on the “best” medication (also, we’re not doctors!). However, a relatively new field called pharmacogenomics—the study of how genes affect an individual’s response to drugs—is giving us some hope. The idea behind pharmacogenomics is that medication prescriptions can be personalized, based on the patient’s genetic profile.

One company, Myriad Genetics (we should disclose here that Myriad is one of our sponsors, but we chose them because the work they do is so beneficial to so many folks), has developed a genetic test called GeneSight® as part of its quest to personalize medicine and improve the quality of life for depression sufferers worldwide. Using a simple cheek swab (no needles for our Phobic Sisters!), scientists can analyze someone’s DNA in order to determine which medications are unlikely to work well (low response, high side effects) for that person. It’s a bit like removing hay from the haystack in order to find the needle.

For our Science Sisters, here’s a bit more info:

We all have gene variants that determine whether our livers are fast, slow, or normal processors of medicines. About 70 percent of us have livers that digest and filter normally. The other 30 percent of us have livers that work faster or slower. Those with particularly speedy livers metabolize medication more quickly thus requiring higher doses of certain medications to find relief. These fast processing livers also are the reason that certain medications stop working, even after a promising start. Those with slower livers metabolize drugs at a slower pace and thus may feel more/stronger side effects from certain medications. These folks may benefit from lower doses.

The GeneSight® test provides a report that lists three categories of medications: (1) the GREEN column lists drugs likely to metabolize normally based on genetics, (2) the YELLOW column lists drugs that may or may not metabolize well—therefore, they should be used with caution and (3) the RED column which lists drugs not likely to metabolize well based on the patient’s genetic profile.

Clearly, those of us who fall into the 30 percent of folks whose livers are faster or slower than average will benefit more from this test than those whose livers are “normal” processors. We would argue that knowing how your liver works is good information for anyone who takes medication although, at this time, GeneSight® is indicated only for people diagnosed with depression who have already tried at least one medication that was not helpful or tolerable.

Data from a recent study of the GeneSight® test is very promising:

Patients whose clinicians used the GeneSight® Psychotropic test to guide their treatment experienced a 50% improvement in remission rates compared with patients whose clinicians did not use pharmacogenomicsPatients whose clinicians used the GeneSight® Psychotropic test to guide their treatment experienced a 30% increase in response rates at week 8 compared with patients whose clinicians did not use pharmacogenomicsSymptom relief was achieved more quickly in the GeneSight® group

And it’s covered by Medicare and other private health plans (it’s a pretty affordable test, even without insurance coverage)!

While we love research-based data, we also are huge believers in anecdotal evidence. Carmala Walgren, Anxiety Sister and mental health advocate extraordinaire, has suffered from depression for almost 50 years. For years, Carmala took medication which, although somewhat helpful in relieving depression symptoms, made her incredibly tired—sometimes, too exhausted to do the things she wanted to do. When she finally took the GeneSight® test, she discovered that her medication was on her red list! In other words, her liver was not processing the medication optimally, which was causing her to be exhausted all the time. Now, Carmala takes a medication from her green list and is feeling better today than she has in years! (To hear Carmala’s story, listen to our latest podcast.)

For more information on GeneSight®, click here.

Have any of you tried pharmacogenomics? Please let us know…

 

 

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We know traveling can be anxiety-provoking, but come with us to a faraway land—just for a minute.

The Agora, in Ancient Greece, was the center of the action. It hosted political and civic events, the arts, and sports. Eventually, it also became the major marketplace where all sorts of things were sold and traded. It was, in other words, the place to be. And yes, it is where we get the word agoraphobia (fear of the marketplace).

I take some comfort in imagining that the ancient Greeks recognized and acknowledged that some of us struggle with fully participating in the marketplace. I definitely would have been the one who couldn’t attend marketplace activities due to anxiety-induced dizziness and nausea. (Abs would have begged off because of her fear of germs.)

Perhaps one of the best ways to illuminate the disorder known as agoraphobia is to talk about what it isn’t. Since we are already hanging out in Ancient Greece, we might as well bring up some of the myths (get it?) around agoraphobia:

Myth #1: Agoraphobia is the fear of leaving home.

Actually, agoraphobia is the fear of being trapped or not being able to access help in a public place. For many Anxiety Sisters, agoraphobia is the fear of having a panic attack in a public place and not being able to get help or get to a “safe zone.” It’s not about being afraid to leave the house—it’s the fear of dealing with our phobias, panic, or physical illness when we do. My own agoraphobia stemmed from my worry that my panic attacks would cause me to pass out or vomit (or both) in the subway. I didn’t need to stay home as much as I needed to avoid the subway and a long list of places that might make me feel trapped.

Myth #2: Agoraphobics never leave home.

In all but the most severe cases, people with agoraphobia do leave home—as long as they are in a safe zone where they feel relatively comfortable. For some Anxiety Sisters, this means they will go anywhere in their own town, but will be too fearful to venture further away. For others, the safe zone can be even wider (or smaller).

Myth #3: People with agoraphobia are loners.

Many people with agoraphobia dislike being alone and are quite dependent on friends or family members, especially when venturing out of their safe zones. In fact, agoraphobics often have trouble going places alone because they are scared that, if something happens to them, nobody will be there to help them. When agoraphobics withdraw from loved ones, it may be because they feel that they are a “burden” to family and friends, which can cause profound loneliness and bouts of isolation.

Myth #4: You must have panic disorder or many irrational fears in order to develop agoraphobia.

Many people with agoraphobia do have panic disorder and/or phobias, such as driving. However, this is not the case for everyone. Some older folks may worry about doing something embarrassing in public (e.g., becoming incontinent or falling down) which is neither irrational nor panic-inducing. Children can get agoraphobia as well. When a child is extremely fearful about getting lost, [s]he may try to avoid big or crowded places.

So how do you know if you have agoraphobia?  

We are not doctors, and we would never feel comfortable diagnosing anyone; however, we do know that people with agoraphobia tend to avoid at least 2 of the following for at least 6 months:

1) Trains, buses, planes (public transport)

2) Open spaces like malls or parking lots

3) Enclosed spaces like movies, smaller stores, restaurants, meeting rooms

4) Waiting in lines or being in crowds

5) Leaving home alone

Although most people start to experience agoraphobia in their 20’s, people of any age can become agoraphobic. As is true of anxiety disorders in general, women are twice as likely to become agoraphobic as men. Also, feel free to blame it on your parents—in about 60 percent of cases, agoraphobia has a genetic component.

What is the treatment?

Whether or not you have a formal diagnosis of agoraphobia, if your world is shrinking because of avoidant behaviors, you probably need some type of help. Most often, unfortunately, standard “talk” therapy is not helpful. Experts will point you toward Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), which involves analyzing and interrupting thought patterns, and Exposure Therapy, which involves exposing the sufferer to the source of her anxiety in progressively larger doses, as the most effective treatments for agoraphobia. For most of us, however, it is hard to find local practitioners of these exact therapies. We are limited by real-life challenges like our agoraphobia, our insurance coverage (or lack of it), and the limited resources in our area. If you cannot find anyone trained specifically in treatments for agoraphobia, you may want to consider some of the online programs and apps in order to find help.

One final note: we know that it is possible to deal with agoraphobia without medication, but we think it is very hard. We liken it to running a marathon with a fifteen-pound weight on your back. Yes, it can be done, but the situation is just so much more difficult. Unless you have a medical reason for avoiding medication, we strongly encourage you to consider it—at least until you are on your way to recovery.

 

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