Michael Kouly's Blog

REDEFINING FAILURE

 

The definition of failure should be: ‘not exceeding’ customer expectations

Meeting expectations is dull, boring, far from remarkable and does not leave a story to remember. Of course it deserves a “thank you” but not more.

Meeting expectations in business and relationships is actually the minimum requirement to avoid the expected conflicts that result from not meeting

expectations. It does not generate a shock and awe effect, amazement or absolute fascination that leads to transformation, addiction and passionate loyalty (real success).

In business and relationships aim to dazzle and to become a story worth being told.

-Michael Kouly

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"Brace for impact”

The captain announced.
The plane had just hit some birds , only a few minutes after taking off from New York.
There was no time to return to the airport.
The only way was to land on the Hudson river.

For Ric Elias, the few minutes of this horrifying incident changed his life forever.
Not because the captain managed to land the plane safely, but because of what he realized as he was preparing for death.

He thought of how everything could change in just a few moments. Dreams, plans, ambitions, concerns, worries, problems, priorities...

Everything takes a different perspective when we understand that we are mortal, and that our journey could end at any moment without prior warning.

I guess that’s why it is called the moment of truth.

So consider these questions:
What matters most in your life?

Please don’t deflect the questions. The sooner we determine the answers, the less regrets we will have.

To what extent are you spending your time, resources and energy on what matters most? Compare that to everything else that is of second, third, fourth...degree of importance importance.

Do the current fights, arguments, conflicts, and worries that are consuming your life really matter compared to your top life priorities?

All these questions came to Ric in his moment of truth. The reality of our very short life forced him to answer. He gained back his life.

I don’t know if one can say he was lucky to have this nightmare that woke him up.
I don’t know if we should wish for our wake up nightmare.
But I know that we will face these questions, sooner or later.

Are we ready?
We better be. Not everyone is as lucky as Ric

Finding Your Hummus: Discover your personal and organizational purpose

You may have heard this:
It is not about doing what you love,
it is about loving what you do.

Good advice, but is it the best mindset?
It is wonderful to love what we do, provided we can do that.

Love is a big word. It is hard to force ourself to love a job if we don’t naturally like it. (Can we love accounting if we are not comfortable with numbers?).
We can oblige ourselves to duty, care, commitment, ethics, professionalism...but to force ourselves to “love” is perhaps asking too much.

In addition, such a scenario is not sustainable. Sooner or later one will get bored or fed up. Even if it was sustainable, it is not the best formula for happiness.

Surely, work must be performed to the highest standards, regardless of personal preferences. However, it is preferred to live a life where people are actually doing what they love. This way, creativity, art, excellence, innovation, genius is more likely to happen and we get a win win scenario: the work is amazing and the worker is happy doing it.

In conclusion: If you can, and you often do, spend your life doing what you love rather than trying to “love” what you do. It is more authentic and the work will be better and happier. You deserve it.

Finding Your Hummus: Discover your personal and organizational purpose

It is an important question..

How should we deal with the negative people who surround us?

The reason this question is important is because it touches our core values, beliefs and hungers...especially when the negative people are close to us socially or professionally.

There are two main answers.

From a leadership perspective, negative people are stuck in their problematic issues. They are victims of their environment and also of themselves. It is a core leadership responsibility to mobilize such people out of their current reality into a reality of hope, positivity and progress.

This approach is a challenge though, because it needs advanced leadership skills.
From a “non Leadership” perspective, it is best that we do not let these people become our problem. Their default is to throw their psychological dirt on us, pull us down, poison our life and drain our energy...even if they don’t deliberately intend to do so.

If we can, that is in most cases, it is best to ax them out ASAP elegantly and compassionately. Life is short and there is much to be done, experienced and enjoyed. We need all the energy that we can save for better causes.

How to do so? This is not an easy decision because of our fear of conflict and confrontation. We will therefore need courage, assertiveness, social skills etc...and above all self appreciation and self leadership. We need to decide to protect ourselves without feeling guilty.

Architects use this word a lot.
"Elevate".
In architecture, elevation is key to design.

The same is true in leadership.
What is leadership if not about mobilizing people to elevate their life.
What is self leadership if not about elevating our own experience of living on this fascinating planet.

I have learned from the verb "to elevate" and I purposefully try to live by its "elevated depth."

When some try to bring you down (they will), elevate yourself above their insecurities.

When others try to degrade a conversation (they will), elevate the interaction above their pettiness.

When they create ugliness, elevate the situation to elegance.

In any situation, ask yourself this question before you do or say anything: How can I elevate this moment (and everyone that is part of it) so that we rise together to a higher state of being?

That's LEADERSHIP

A friend.
How about this:

"A friend is someone you can call at 3 AM if you feel that you need to talk."

It is a real deal to have "3 AM friends", to have someone travel across continents to be with you and comfort your pain, to hug and to be hugged. This is a fulfilling relationship.

It is said that if you have someone to call at 3 AM you will live longer.

It is also said that people are spending more time on social media "friendships". Having Facebook friends is great fun but it is not the real deal. A "like" and an emoji are nice but that is not a true connection. We are designed for authenticity.

There is no substitute for hugging and being hugged; ask your mother. Having someone to call at 3 AM is priceless; ask an old man.

Use social media. It is entertaining. But as a connection, it is plastic flowers for a plastic life. Spend time on genuine relationships because they are the real flowers. That's where the fragrance is.

No more virtual. Life is real.

They look the same,
but they are different..
Loneliness and Solitude.
Loneliness is about missing being with people whom we want to be with. It is a painful negative emotion. Our soul feels empty, alone and sad.
Solitude, however, is a conscious choice we make to be solely in the company of our beautiful self.
Solitude is a peaceful break we take from everyone, including those whom we adore, so that we are surrounded with silence that makes us listen to the voice of our core.
Many, probably most, great leaders practiced solitude. They found spaces where they disconnected from the noisy and busy world and reconnected with their best self and with their purest source of strength and inspiration.
Try it discover the power of solitude to collect, refine, purify, refocus and un-clutter your internal world.
It maybe the most useful habit to have.
Finding Your Hummus: Discover your personal and organizational purpose

REDEFINING FAILURE

 

The definition of failure should be: ‘not exceeding’ customer expectations

Meeting expectations is dull, boring, far from remarkable and does not leave a story to remember. Of course it deserves a “thank you” but not more.

Meeting expectations in business and relationships is actually the minimum requirement to avoid the expected conflicts that result from not meeting

expectations. It does not generate a shock and awe effect, amazement or absolute fascination that leads to transformation, addiction and passionate loyalty (real success).

In business and relationships aim to dazzle and to become a story worth being told.

-Michael Kouly

CURIOSITY AND JOY ARE NATURAL. BOREDOM AND SUFFERING ARE ARTIFICIAL.

 

“Curiosity and joy are natural. Boredom and suffering are artificial.”

Your true nature is expressed by your state of being when you were a child…fresh, curious, joyful and always thrilled about life.

Boredom, disinterest, stress, anxiety, hopelessness, meaninglessness, and depression are artificial conditions created by the unnatural modern lifestyle.

What can you do to live with the same excitement and thrill that you experienced in childhood? Do it now.

-Michael Kouly

CARE IS THE DRIVING FORCE OF LEADERSHIP.

 

“Care is the driving force of leadership.” – Michael Kouly

The core of leadership is care.

It is care that will make you accept the sacrifices that are required to mobilize people.

It is care that will make you pay the attention needed to lead.

It is care that will fuel you with the energy that is required to do the hard work of leadership.

It is nothing but care that will keep you in the game when the same people, whom you are trying to help through your acts of leadership, resist and fight you just because they don’t see the potential brightness of their future the way you do.

Do you really care about those whom you wish to lead? Do you really care about the cause that you are trying to serve? The answer to such questions will determine the fate of your leadership journey.