Kristina Gallo's Blog - Posts Tagged "psychology"
Are you the hunter or the kill?
Criticism is sensitive field. It is easy to give critics, to mock someone, but it is not easy to receive this for return and to make joke by yourself. Do you laugh to yourself, in public? Do you allow friends to tease you, even this means that they will overrate your faults and make your values smaller? There is thin line between social clown and person who loves to make jokes about yourself. If you are hunter, if you respect yourself, you will allow certain doze of criticism but you will not be a doormat.
If you ask me to whom you must be grateful, maybe my answer will surprise you. Yes, i am grateful to my parents because they give me motivation, strong will and attitude. I am grateful to my sister because she stood on my side when i felt miserable. I am grateful to my husband for accepting me as i am, even when i was the worst nightmare.
Mostly, i am grateful to my rivals, for develop my strength. As i passed my initiation , faced with many troubles and get out from biggest crises, i am grateful.
I am grateful to my double faced, ex friends. I am grateful to my ex boyfriends.
So i am grateful for betrayal.
For underestimation.
For disloyalty.
For mockery.
For critics.
For breakups.
For pushing in background.
This familiar sentence “everything happens for a reason” has real sense for me. I found reason in tiny box, under key, wrapped in so called kindness, loyalty and love. Under this envelope was disappointment and lesson “Next time you will know to whom you are dealing with. “
As i am learning fast, and i am learning with sense, i got this point. No, i will not blow on cold, neither i will be paranoid. Just, all that lessons developed my sense for logic. If it looks like bitch and talk like bitch, it must be a bitch. If it smells like shit, then it must be shit.
Sometimes, i did not see wood from the forest, but that wood was my solution. I can do it better. Just as Terminator, if i stay without one part, i will upgrade myself to better version.
Can you say that you are grateful for someone who gave you hard time?
If you ask me to whom you must be grateful, maybe my answer will surprise you. Yes, i am grateful to my parents because they give me motivation, strong will and attitude. I am grateful to my sister because she stood on my side when i felt miserable. I am grateful to my husband for accepting me as i am, even when i was the worst nightmare.
Mostly, i am grateful to my rivals, for develop my strength. As i passed my initiation , faced with many troubles and get out from biggest crises, i am grateful.
I am grateful to my double faced, ex friends. I am grateful to my ex boyfriends.
So i am grateful for betrayal.
For underestimation.
For disloyalty.
For mockery.
For critics.
For breakups.
For pushing in background.
This familiar sentence “everything happens for a reason” has real sense for me. I found reason in tiny box, under key, wrapped in so called kindness, loyalty and love. Under this envelope was disappointment and lesson “Next time you will know to whom you are dealing with. “
As i am learning fast, and i am learning with sense, i got this point. No, i will not blow on cold, neither i will be paranoid. Just, all that lessons developed my sense for logic. If it looks like bitch and talk like bitch, it must be a bitch. If it smells like shit, then it must be shit.
Sometimes, i did not see wood from the forest, but that wood was my solution. I can do it better. Just as Terminator, if i stay without one part, i will upgrade myself to better version.
Can you say that you are grateful for someone who gave you hard time?
Treat a lady like a whore
This old proverb found place in minds of some men who like to control every woman. Cheap opposite psychology is their way to seduce woman who is not obey to them on a way they wished.
Imagine dominant, conservative man who raised in family under father’s authority, where woman role was to take care of children and do house work, while man was earning money. Her opinion was not important, also it was not desirable that she is much educated, because devil could posses her brain. I talk about Harry ( name is changed as i always protect my “muses”). Harry raised in big family, with 6 children. She was middle son, lived in poor conditions, without money and education. Harry is bright, not limited man, but very stubborn and bossy. He learnt this from his father. Harry got married in early twenties, with pretty wife. Soon he got cute daughter and than troubles appeared. Harry was young, handsome, and his wife was not a slave. She had her opinion, her wishes and views. She had an attitude. Soon, Harry start to abuse her and became violent. Their marriage finished after their argument had bad end. Harry hit her with fist into eye, she was injured. That was good reason for divorce. Now, Harry sees his daughter once on month.
Did you expect that Harry regret his actions and became more soft? No, this trauma made him worse. He became playboy, but special kind of man who is focused on old , lonely women in fifties, even sixties. He is money hunter. As he said : “I can make every woman beautiful. Even if she is the ugliest at world, i can make her feels in heaven. ” He seduces them by sweet words , he talks on their languages because mostly they are tourists which visit his city. After few nights with him he is going forward on next one, because his business is done. Some women handle it with silence but other attack him and call him gigolo, especially after he doesn’t return him money.
He got involved with Olga, woman 20 years older than him and claimed that she raped him, but after she gave him money he changed story and treat her as his girlfriend. He doesn’t love her, but he loves power he got in his hands, to make her as slave and use her for his purposes.
As Harry is just a human, he falls in love recently. His heart shown him way to woman near his ages, who doesn’t want to obey to his wishes and who make joke of his traditional , rigid values. She was mocking him and even insulting, so she became real challenge for him. Problem is, that woman is married and she can’t be his love. Harry dreams about her , he even offered her to visit him, but she rejected his offer as cheap attempt to join into his circle of poor, used women.
How Harry treat his ex wife, and how he treats Olga? Olga is old slutty woman, in a mood to have sex with everyone because her quote is “life is short. ” Harry gave her kind of honor by appearing with her on public places. How he treats his ex wife, mother of his daughter? He was beating her and lied to police that she falls on stairs. If you mention his ex ,he will got mad and say that her character is not good. If you talk about Olga, he will say that Olga is not bad, even Olga is old slut and pay for sex with money to young guys as Harry.
His values are distorted, as he treats lady as whore, and whore as lady, just to save his power and raise his ego.
Imagine dominant, conservative man who raised in family under father’s authority, where woman role was to take care of children and do house work, while man was earning money. Her opinion was not important, also it was not desirable that she is much educated, because devil could posses her brain. I talk about Harry ( name is changed as i always protect my “muses”). Harry raised in big family, with 6 children. She was middle son, lived in poor conditions, without money and education. Harry is bright, not limited man, but very stubborn and bossy. He learnt this from his father. Harry got married in early twenties, with pretty wife. Soon he got cute daughter and than troubles appeared. Harry was young, handsome, and his wife was not a slave. She had her opinion, her wishes and views. She had an attitude. Soon, Harry start to abuse her and became violent. Their marriage finished after their argument had bad end. Harry hit her with fist into eye, she was injured. That was good reason for divorce. Now, Harry sees his daughter once on month.
Did you expect that Harry regret his actions and became more soft? No, this trauma made him worse. He became playboy, but special kind of man who is focused on old , lonely women in fifties, even sixties. He is money hunter. As he said : “I can make every woman beautiful. Even if she is the ugliest at world, i can make her feels in heaven. ” He seduces them by sweet words , he talks on their languages because mostly they are tourists which visit his city. After few nights with him he is going forward on next one, because his business is done. Some women handle it with silence but other attack him and call him gigolo, especially after he doesn’t return him money.
He got involved with Olga, woman 20 years older than him and claimed that she raped him, but after she gave him money he changed story and treat her as his girlfriend. He doesn’t love her, but he loves power he got in his hands, to make her as slave and use her for his purposes.
As Harry is just a human, he falls in love recently. His heart shown him way to woman near his ages, who doesn’t want to obey to his wishes and who make joke of his traditional , rigid values. She was mocking him and even insulting, so she became real challenge for him. Problem is, that woman is married and she can’t be his love. Harry dreams about her , he even offered her to visit him, but she rejected his offer as cheap attempt to join into his circle of poor, used women.
How Harry treat his ex wife, and how he treats Olga? Olga is old slutty woman, in a mood to have sex with everyone because her quote is “life is short. ” Harry gave her kind of honor by appearing with her on public places. How he treats his ex wife, mother of his daughter? He was beating her and lied to police that she falls on stairs. If you mention his ex ,he will got mad and say that her character is not good. If you talk about Olga, he will say that Olga is not bad, even Olga is old slut and pay for sex with money to young guys as Harry.
His values are distorted, as he treats lady as whore, and whore as lady, just to save his power and raise his ego.
The grass is not greener on the other side
Did you ask yourself, which kind of people is happy? People, who have everything? Beauty, money, power, happiness in love? How many times you were envious of a neighbor with a fast car and sexy wife, that you wanted to be in his place?
One day you heard the other side of a story. Wife was cheating him, he had car’s accident and he owes money to some nasty people who beat him. Then you were thinking, I am not rich and my wife is average looks, but we are a great family. So I love my life and I would not be a neighbor’s place, never.
That is the answer, you are happy when you are grateful. Your gratitude is key to happiness. Happiness is an individual event. I see my friend who is pregnant, and this is her happiness. I see my sister with her 3 children, that is her happiness. I see myself and husband on New’ years eve and this is our happiness.
Is it true that grass is greener on another side? We might use a magnifier to compare ourselves with other people, but the question is, how could that kind of lifestyle match to us?
My friend recently made a joke about register box. He said that society is big register box, with a precise plan, how life should it look. Job, marriage, children, death. Some people are frightened cause they must follow register box. Here is neighbor A, he is married, with two children. Neighbor B thinks that she must have 2 children because he is an advantage toward her. What neighbor B doesn’t know, is that neighbor A found a mistress. His register box is failed by an unknown human, a mistress. What will be if mistress decides to ruin his marriage, his perfect job, two cute sons and elegant wife? Neighbor A found dynamite which might explode overnight.
We are captivated by other lives, in a way that we like to compare ourselves with colleagues, neighbors, peers. Look at prom anniversary, how many people will go there just to show their success and make jokes about others who stuck in some trouble. I also compared myself with woman I used to know, a long time ago. Maybe I was envious, I don’t know. Then I found out some things and I would not change my lifestyle for all her money. I even imagined myself in her skin, and it did not fit me. I am a free bird with mine principles, and the only register box I believe is the one I created.
So, when you see that people provoke you or attack you, and you have no idea why they admire you indeed. You had guts to kick that register box and make your own world, where is comfortable for you. They still stuck in forced society, with their own will. There is no worse feeling than a statement that you live in kind of prison, in a cell .
Your guard is a personification of all people who told you: ” What will others think of your life?” In such way, a guard holds the key of your happiness. You are not independent mind, you are guarded by invisible authority, cause your fear is bigger than your free will. You let others choose instead of you. Ask yourself, do you live a life which you chose, or you live life accord register box?
The grass is not greener on another side. The grass is just different, and it might not fit into your garden, between your roses and tulips.
One day you heard the other side of a story. Wife was cheating him, he had car’s accident and he owes money to some nasty people who beat him. Then you were thinking, I am not rich and my wife is average looks, but we are a great family. So I love my life and I would not be a neighbor’s place, never.
That is the answer, you are happy when you are grateful. Your gratitude is key to happiness. Happiness is an individual event. I see my friend who is pregnant, and this is her happiness. I see my sister with her 3 children, that is her happiness. I see myself and husband on New’ years eve and this is our happiness.
Is it true that grass is greener on another side? We might use a magnifier to compare ourselves with other people, but the question is, how could that kind of lifestyle match to us?
My friend recently made a joke about register box. He said that society is big register box, with a precise plan, how life should it look. Job, marriage, children, death. Some people are frightened cause they must follow register box. Here is neighbor A, he is married, with two children. Neighbor B thinks that she must have 2 children because he is an advantage toward her. What neighbor B doesn’t know, is that neighbor A found a mistress. His register box is failed by an unknown human, a mistress. What will be if mistress decides to ruin his marriage, his perfect job, two cute sons and elegant wife? Neighbor A found dynamite which might explode overnight.
We are captivated by other lives, in a way that we like to compare ourselves with colleagues, neighbors, peers. Look at prom anniversary, how many people will go there just to show their success and make jokes about others who stuck in some trouble. I also compared myself with woman I used to know, a long time ago. Maybe I was envious, I don’t know. Then I found out some things and I would not change my lifestyle for all her money. I even imagined myself in her skin, and it did not fit me. I am a free bird with mine principles, and the only register box I believe is the one I created.
So, when you see that people provoke you or attack you, and you have no idea why they admire you indeed. You had guts to kick that register box and make your own world, where is comfortable for you. They still stuck in forced society, with their own will. There is no worse feeling than a statement that you live in kind of prison, in a cell .
Your guard is a personification of all people who told you: ” What will others think of your life?” In such way, a guard holds the key of your happiness. You are not independent mind, you are guarded by invisible authority, cause your fear is bigger than your free will. You let others choose instead of you. Ask yourself, do you live a life which you chose, or you live life accord register box?
The grass is not greener on another side. The grass is just different, and it might not fit into your garden, between your roses and tulips.
