Kevin Carlin's Blog - Posts Tagged "ice"
Ice
The following is a piece from a writing group where we're given a prompt and then nine minutes to write whatever comes to mind. Just for fun, I'm posting some of them here:
Prompt: Ice
Come on down to Crazy Tim's Indoor Ice Climbing Emporium. We've got membership packages for the whole, adventurous family. Is the regular rock gym just not giving you that fluttering feeling in your loins anymore? You need something more extreme? Well, check us out today. We're right here on the corner of Colfax and the North Gatdang Pole. Bring your ice climbing boots and your ax, and we'll send you up the most insane indoor ice climbing wall you've ever seen.
You think we're not extreme enough? We had three people break their femurs just this week.
You think we're just a regular indoor climbing gym that forgot to pay our heating bill because we were so jacked out on edibles last month, and the front window got busted out by the guys I was trying buy meth off, which then let in a crapton of this good old fashioned Colorado January ice storm, and so I'm trying to just roll with it and pass myself off as an indoor ice climbing gym instead of sucking it up and fixing the window and making good with the power company? Is that what you think?
Well, you're dead wrong, because my name isn't even on the mother effing power bill. I'm squatting here, okay? The real owner of this place skipped town when the pandemic hit. He went back to one of those states where people cry about their freedoms. He's probably hospitalized with the virus by now, but who cares? All that matters is us extreme ice climbers finally have a place to hone our skills indoors.
Prompt: Ice
Come on down to Crazy Tim's Indoor Ice Climbing Emporium. We've got membership packages for the whole, adventurous family. Is the regular rock gym just not giving you that fluttering feeling in your loins anymore? You need something more extreme? Well, check us out today. We're right here on the corner of Colfax and the North Gatdang Pole. Bring your ice climbing boots and your ax, and we'll send you up the most insane indoor ice climbing wall you've ever seen.
You think we're not extreme enough? We had three people break their femurs just this week.
You think we're just a regular indoor climbing gym that forgot to pay our heating bill because we were so jacked out on edibles last month, and the front window got busted out by the guys I was trying buy meth off, which then let in a crapton of this good old fashioned Colorado January ice storm, and so I'm trying to just roll with it and pass myself off as an indoor ice climbing gym instead of sucking it up and fixing the window and making good with the power company? Is that what you think?
Well, you're dead wrong, because my name isn't even on the mother effing power bill. I'm squatting here, okay? The real owner of this place skipped town when the pandemic hit. He went back to one of those states where people cry about their freedoms. He's probably hospitalized with the virus by now, but who cares? All that matters is us extreme ice climbers finally have a place to hone our skills indoors.
