Jeremiah Donaldson's Blog: This and That - Posts Tagged "shakespeare-retelling"
The Taming of the Pansy on pre-order
Coming Dec 15th. Kindle pre-orders are 25% off regular price.
Ava has found a charming, smart, and, one day, rich man she wants that has a big problem: his useless brother Wesley that his father wants rid of. But before anyone would take him, he has to be whipped into shape, and Ava knows just the woman for the job in this farce that would make Shakespeare laugh in his grave.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07J21RPFN
Ava has found a charming, smart, and, one day, rich man she wants that has a big problem: his useless brother Wesley that his father wants rid of. But before anyone would take him, he has to be whipped into shape, and Ava knows just the woman for the job in this farce that would make Shakespeare laugh in his grave.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07J21RPFN
The Taming of the Pansy excerpt
The Taming of the Pansy
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07J21RPFN
...
“Do you do anything other than drink beer and play video games?” Jennifer paused. “Like work or anything at all worth a shit?”
“Well, no, the asshole doesn't let me in on the business like he does Tim.”
Jennifer grunted. “I've heard.”
“He tells me I have to make do with 40 percent of whatever Tim pulls in.” Wesley took another drink. “Which is fine with me.”
“Aren't you afraid he'll kick you out?”
“No, he feels too guilty about not knowing who my mom is.”
Jennifer mumbled under her breath.
“What was that?”
“Nothing. Haven't you ever wanted to do something on your own?”
Wesley shrugged. “I have a free ride. Why mess that up with work?”
“Respect. Dignity. Pride.”
Wesley gave her a blank stare.
Jennifer shook her head. “Never mind.”
“Well, now, I've won money at drinking contests.”
“Two out of three isn't bad.”
“Which one are you leaving out?”
“Dignity.”
“I thought it'd be 'pride'.”
“I guess it depends on the circle.”
...
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07J21RPFN
...
“Do you do anything other than drink beer and play video games?” Jennifer paused. “Like work or anything at all worth a shit?”
“Well, no, the asshole doesn't let me in on the business like he does Tim.”
Jennifer grunted. “I've heard.”
“He tells me I have to make do with 40 percent of whatever Tim pulls in.” Wesley took another drink. “Which is fine with me.”
“Aren't you afraid he'll kick you out?”
“No, he feels too guilty about not knowing who my mom is.”
Jennifer mumbled under her breath.
“What was that?”
“Nothing. Haven't you ever wanted to do something on your own?”
Wesley shrugged. “I have a free ride. Why mess that up with work?”
“Respect. Dignity. Pride.”
Wesley gave her a blank stare.
Jennifer shook her head. “Never mind.”
“Well, now, I've won money at drinking contests.”
“Two out of three isn't bad.”
“Which one are you leaving out?”
“Dignity.”
“I thought it'd be 'pride'.”
“I guess it depends on the circle.”
...
The Taming of the Pansy excerpt
Coming 12.15.18
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07J21RPFN
They all looked up as Tony and the unnamed, suited man reentered the room. Tony put his phone on the table and sat down. The suited man sat in the spot beside him.
“Damned women's rights people. Don't say that, don't do that, we were given equal treatment decades ago, don't wave your dick around at interviews.” Tony laughed. “No one treats women better than I do. Ellen! Beer!”
“Yes, dear,” was the reply from the kitchen.
“Just ask my wife.” Tony started shoveling food onto his plate. “She'll tell you.”
Ellen slipped into the room, sat a beer down in front of Tony, and disappeared before anyone could reply.
Tony nodded at the swinging door. “See.”
“Uh, Dad.” Tim leaned forward and put his elbows on the table. “Wesley is going on a date tomorrow, can I get out of the house, too?”
Tony's eyes widened. “Hell, yeah, boy. You can do whatever you want as long as the bastard is out of the house. Get out there and grab life by the tits!”
“Dad, that's a bit...Trump.”
“Then rape it to death with a bayonet and drag it down the street in victory!”
“And that's too Clinton.”
Tony slammed his fist down on the table, making everyone jump. “Dammit, boy! Get in line with the two party, Capitalist system! Democracy is for Communists!” His phone beeped again. He grabbed it and stood up. “Let's see what pussy ass rights group is bitching now.”
Tony and the suited man left the room again.
Tim turned to Ava and they stared into each others eyes for a moment before he spoke. “Tomorrow then?”
Ava giggled and blushed. “Just let me know when.”
Tim nodded and gave her a thumbs up.
Wesley looked at Jennifer. “We getting drunk tomorrow?”
Jennifer picked at a finger nail. “Well, I don't...”
Ava kicked her leg under the table.
“Sure.” Jennifer sneered at Wesley. “Or at least you are.”
Tony and the suited man reentered and sat back down.
“Well, the lawsuit over me jerking off in front of the maid is finally settled.” Tony took a drink of beer. “It'll be cheaper to hire a hooker for it next time.”
Everyone, including the unnamed suited man, looked at their plates and started eating without another word.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07J21RPFN
They all looked up as Tony and the unnamed, suited man reentered the room. Tony put his phone on the table and sat down. The suited man sat in the spot beside him.
“Damned women's rights people. Don't say that, don't do that, we were given equal treatment decades ago, don't wave your dick around at interviews.” Tony laughed. “No one treats women better than I do. Ellen! Beer!”
“Yes, dear,” was the reply from the kitchen.
“Just ask my wife.” Tony started shoveling food onto his plate. “She'll tell you.”
Ellen slipped into the room, sat a beer down in front of Tony, and disappeared before anyone could reply.
Tony nodded at the swinging door. “See.”
“Uh, Dad.” Tim leaned forward and put his elbows on the table. “Wesley is going on a date tomorrow, can I get out of the house, too?”
Tony's eyes widened. “Hell, yeah, boy. You can do whatever you want as long as the bastard is out of the house. Get out there and grab life by the tits!”
“Dad, that's a bit...Trump.”
“Then rape it to death with a bayonet and drag it down the street in victory!”
“And that's too Clinton.”
Tony slammed his fist down on the table, making everyone jump. “Dammit, boy! Get in line with the two party, Capitalist system! Democracy is for Communists!” His phone beeped again. He grabbed it and stood up. “Let's see what pussy ass rights group is bitching now.”
Tony and the suited man left the room again.
Tim turned to Ava and they stared into each others eyes for a moment before he spoke. “Tomorrow then?”
Ava giggled and blushed. “Just let me know when.”
Tim nodded and gave her a thumbs up.
Wesley looked at Jennifer. “We getting drunk tomorrow?”
Jennifer picked at a finger nail. “Well, I don't...”
Ava kicked her leg under the table.
“Sure.” Jennifer sneered at Wesley. “Or at least you are.”
Tony and the suited man reentered and sat back down.
“Well, the lawsuit over me jerking off in front of the maid is finally settled.” Tony took a drink of beer. “It'll be cheaper to hire a hooker for it next time.”
Everyone, including the unnamed suited man, looked at their plates and started eating without another word.
This and That
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