Kenn Bivins's Blog

There are no happy endings.

Endings are the saddest part,

So just give me a happy middle

And a very happy start.

– Shel Silverstein, A Light in the Attic

Grief doesn’t change you. It reveals you. I believe in therapy. If you’re depressed or experiencing chronic grief, please talk to someone. In addition to the National Suicide Prevention Hotline (1.800.273.TALK), there are so many resources available online as well. You can talk to a professional in the privacy and comfort of your home. Here are some of the most highly referred online services to consider:

Talkspace

Talkspace’s unlimited messaging and video conferencing makes it a convenient app for addressing a variety of needs.

Betterhelp

Betterhelp allows a variety of ways to contact your therapist, including live chat sessions.

Regain

Regain specializes in couples therapy and they offer a variety of services to help address relationship issues.

Teen Counseling

Teens can chat, message, speak over the phone, or video conference with a therapist who has experience treating their age group.

Pride Counseling

Pride Counseling offers online therapy to individuals in the LGBTQ community, and their goal is to offer discreet, affordable, and accessible treatment.

Amwell

Amwell offers access to a variety of mental health professionals at any time of day or night.

7 Cups of Tea

You can access free support from peers on 7 Cups of Tea or you can choose to pay to speak to a professional.

Doctor on Demand

Doctor on Demand provides access to a free assessment that can help you determine if you should talk to someone about anxiety or depression.

MDLive

MDLive provides access to psychiatrists who can prescribe and manage psychiatric medications.

I originally shared these resources with the subscribers of my weekly newsletter. If you’d like to be among the privileged to get content such as this, unreleased novel sneak peeks, writing resources and other goodies, subscribe here. Enjoy and above all, be well.

Invisible Ennk is (black) proud to announce the next edition in the 39 Lessons series, 39 Lessons for Black Girls & Boys. It was released on February 1, 2020, just in time for Black History Month

Spencer, the youngest of my two sons, turned 21 today. Two things spring to mind in that reflection.

One: I’m becoming quite seasoned. Two: I’m quite proud of the man he’s become.

In honor of him officially entering adulthood, I released two books today that are a collection of wisdom and lessons gleaned from being a parent and dad-figure. The series is entitled 39 Lessons.

These two books, 39 Lessons for Girls and 39 Lessons for Boys, are for both parents and children (as young as 6-years old) to enjoy.

The following is a bonus list of lessons that I include in the books that are actually an open letter to Spencer. Enjoy!

Starting over

Is stopping first

Catch my breath

Quench my thirst

I have a question

What could be worst?

Let it bleed

Or hold back to burst?

To being anew

You let it end

Burn the remains

And then begin

East from west

Forgive the sin

What did I do?

I can’t remem…ber.

Touch your toes,

Bend your knees,

Prostrate yourself

And pray for peace.

Relax your arms

To your side,

Drop your weapons

And your pride.

Widen your eyes,

Close your mouth,

Put others first,

Do without.

Feel the burn,

Catch your breath,

You can do it,

Ask for help.

Stretch your arms,

Shift your hips,

Speak your heart,

Through confident lips.

Do three reps

Every dawn

With your favorite

Dance tune on.

Arch your back,

Praise like trees,

Prostrate yourself

And pray for peace.

Lies I’ve heard

From the start…

“Not that smart,

Ain’t got heart,

Plays no part,

Slow to start,

Below the chart,

Dull-eyed dart,

Unexpected fart,

Empty cart,

Progress in park,

Stopping start,

In the dark,

Just a lark,

Can’t make the mark,

No grave for Clark,

Reality stark,

Mewing bark.”

What’s that?!

Hark!

Who’s that?

Hark!

I can’t hear you.

They can’t hear you.

We can’t hear you

Stop!

Okay.

Now start

Over.

Many of you likely love to brandish your American patriotism in some form, especially on July 4th. Your team spirit declaration may be expressed on hats, headwraps, t-shirts, fingernails, fanny packs or sneakers, just to name a few nationalistic accouterments.

But not so fast, patriot. If the United States flag is printed on any of these accessories or apparel, you may as well as be pledging your allegiance to Al-Qaeda.

Fear not. I, Kenn Bivins, also known as Ameri-Kenn (to no one), want to help you be a better, more respectful American.

Title 4 of the U.S. Code is quite clear on the appropriate way to respect the United States flag. What is this legal mumbo jumbo I’m talking about? I’m glad you (maybe) asked.

Just in time fort̶h̶e̶ ̶4̶t̶h̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶J̶u̶l̶y̶ Independence Day, here is the entire section concerning the flag.

4 U.S. Code § 8.Respect for flag

No disrespect should be shown to the flag of the United States of America; the flag should not be dipped to any person or thing. Regimental colors, State flags, and organization or institutional flags are to be dipped as a mark of honor.

a) The flag should never be displayed with the union down, except as a signal of dire distress in instances of extreme danger to life or property.

b) The flag should never touch anything beneath it, such as the ground, the floor, water, or merchandise.

c) The flag should never be carried flat or horizontally, but always aloft and free.

d) The flag should never be used as wearing apparel, bedding, or drapery. It should never be festooned, drawn back, nor up, in folds, but always allowed to fall free. Bunting of blue, white, and red, always arranged with the blue above, the white in the middle, and the red below, should be used for covering a speaker’s desk, draping the front of the platform, and for decoration in general.

e) The flag should never be fastened, displayed, used, or stored in such a manner as to permit it to be easily torn, soiled, or damaged in any way.

f) The flag should never be used as a covering for a ceiling.

g) The flag should never have placed upon it, nor on any part of it, nor attached to it any mark, insignia, letter, word, figure, design, picture, or drawing of any nature.

h) The flag should never be used as a receptacle for receiving, holding, carrying, or delivering anything.

i) The flag should never be used for advertising purposes in any manner whatsoever. It should not be embroidered on such articles as cushions or handkerchiefs and the like, printed or otherwise impressed on paper napkins or boxes or anything that is designed for temporary use and discard. Advertising signs should not be fastened to a staff or halyard from which the flag is flown.

j) No part of the flag should ever be used as a costume or athletic uniform. However, a flag patch may be affixed to the uniform of military personnel, firemen, policemen, and members of patriotic organizations. The flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing. Therefore, the lapel flag pin being a replica, should be worn on the left lapel near the heart.

k) The flag, when it is in such condition that it is no longer a fitting emblem for display, should be destroyed in a dignified way, preferably by burning.

Now you are more learned and can conduct yourselves accordingly as you celebrate your holiday. You’re welcome, America.

Dear Media, I’ve endured your clickbait headlines that mislead. I’ve sorted through your articles that are nothing more than ads. I’ve even suffered your racist code words that are subtle yet effective to perpetuate stereotypes. But what I cannot and will not overlook is your obvious glee to purport images of slain or injured black and brown bodies as if we’re no more than eviscerated roadkill. Please stop.

The prominent circulating today (June 26, 2019) in newspapers, on television and online of a photo of a Salvadoran father and his daughter lying face down in the Rio Grande is both tasteless and racist. Why racist? Well, the bias is obvious. When was the last time you did the same regarding white victims? There seems to be a care and a sensitivity given to people of Caucasian nature that is not afforded to black and brown people. Just stop.

When the unjust assassinations of us by police are caught on film, you loop those videos incessantly, only stopping for commercial breaks. When our moments of suffering are captured, those images are publicized to promote your political propaganda or an agenda that has little to do with advocacy. Just stop.

Exaggeration of news, scandal-mongering, sensationalism and bias presented as fact is nothing more than yellow journalism. The public deserves better than that. You’ve lost your way. Please stop and return to the professional and ethical standards that uphold real journalism.

These dreams, these fiends, these tweens and cut scenes,

Expectations of momentum and necessities of a spleen.

These winter Monday’s in June are reminiscent of a fifth quarter.

Should I slay myself again or ask a bigger God to expand my borders?

These sorrowed nights and broken glass and drafts from underneath,

Give greater cause to perpetuate and strive for more than just to be.

Oh, these falls, these stalls, these empty halls and caterwauls,

Apprehension’s got me hopeful, while my bladder has the gall.

What if Trump lost the 2020 election, but rather than concede the office to his predecessor, he ordered the military to defend his post in the White House. All of his political opposers and those who sought to physically remove him were detained, assaulted, humiliated, raped or murdered. Sounds crazy, right? We’d have a global human rights issue on our hands. Well, it’s not a “what if” nor is it a Netflix movie. It’s happening right now in Sudan.

On April 11, 2019, President Omar al-Bashir was removed from his office in a military coup. During his 30-year rule, he’d been charged several times with war crimes and crimes against humanity that included genocide, but the ICC (International Crime Court) was unable to provide “sufficient evidence” to prosecute him.

While under house arrest, al-Bashir was able to orchestrate the killings of dozens of protestors, but the Sudanese still considered his ousting a political victory with hopes to establish a civilian-led, democratically-elected government.

On June 3, during a sit-in demonstration and toward the end of Ramadan, al-Bashir’s opposing military opened fire on civilian, pro-democracy protesters, killing more than 108. Witnesses say that the dead were thrown in the Nile River.

Mohammed Hashim Mattar was among those that were gunned down. His close friend, Shadh Khidir, used her platform on Instagram as beauty influencer to over 99k followers to bring awareness to the massacres going on in Sudan.

Mattar’s favorite shade of indigo blue and the hashtag #blueforsudan have become a symbol of Sudan’s pro-democracy uprising. Hundreds of thousands of social media users have changed their profile avatars to blue to demonstrate their allegiance with Sudan.

Meanwhile and outside the social media world, the media at large in the United States has been relatively silent on the matter. This is the same media that had an overreaction to a cathedral burning in Paris, while the loss of human life in an African country on any level barely gets a mention or a footnote. Twelve people get killed in Paris and the world grieves. Twelve thousand people get killed in Africa and the world orders another Long Island tea over brunch.

I’m going on a bit of a tangent here, but the two incidents I’m loosely referring to are the Charlie Hebdo shooting in 2015 and the Darfur genocide that took place from 2003 to 2014. Darfur is in the western region of Sudan and during those eleven years, more than 300,000 people were killed, raped, displaced and traumatized. By the way, this happened on President al-Bashir’s watch and he downplayed the massacre saying the numbers reported were “grossly inflated.”

It is actually in the United States’ best interest to assist Sudan in a peaceful transition of power to promote regime stability; otherwise, the region will become a hotbed for terrorist networks such as Al Qaeda and ISIS to flourish.

According to several activists in the region who spoke on condition of anonymity, armed soldiers are out in force on the streets of Khartoum committing acts of violence, rape and terrorism against unarmed citizens. Communication with the outside world has been made difficult because the Internet is blocked or cut off for extended intervals while phone service has been throttled. Several well-known opposition figures say their international phone calls are abruptly cut, which further fuels a climate of fear.

This is a global humanitarian crisis and America is doing nothing. We’d rather talk about anything else besides the atrocities happening in Sudan right now.

“Please don’t talk about Sudan while I’m eating. And can you send me over another one of them Long Island teas?”

As an individual, you do have power, though. We are the media now. You can use your platform, your voice and your access to make others aware of what’s happening in Sudan. You are the hope.

In 2006, Ben Harper released, “Please Don’t Talk About Murder While I’m Eating.” In the song that inspired the title to this article, he criticizes the media’s disregard for people’s real suffering during their attempts to scoop a story.

Don’t be like that media. Real people with real heartbeats are suffering. They have families, dreams and rights. Talk about what’s happening to them that they might have an opportunity to live decent lives with dignity.