Lynn Blackmar

“Actually, [Wax] said, we came here because we needed someplace safe to think for a few hours."
Ranette: "Your mansion isn't safe?"
Wax: "My butler failed to poison me, then tried to shoot me, then set off an explosive in my study"
Ranette: "Huh.... You need to screen these people better, Wax.”
― Brandon Sanderson, The Alloy of Law

“When the time comes to leap in faith whether you have your eyes open or closed or scream all the way down or not makes no practical difference.”
― Lois McMaster Bujold, The Warrior's Apprentice

“Your Royal Bloody Pain in My Back,

We're bloody waiting here to talk to you, and we're getting angry perturbed. (That means angry.) Thom says that you're a queen now, but I figure that changes nothing, sense you acted like a queen all the time anyway. Don't forget that I carried halled your pretty little backside out of a hole in Tear, but you acted like a queen then, so I guess I don't know why I'm surprised now that you act like one when you really are a queen.

So I'm thinking I should treat you like a bloody Queen and send you a bloody letter and all, speaking with high talk and getting your attention. I even used my ring as a signet, like it was paper proper. So here my formal salutation. So BLOODY STOP TURNING ME AWAY so we can talk. I need your bellfounders. It's bloody important.

--Mat

p.s. Salutation means greeting.

p.p.s. Don't mind the scratched out words and bad spellings. I was going to rewrite this letter, but Thom is laffing so hard at me that I want to be done.

p.p.s. Don't mind me calling your backside pretty. I hardly ever spent any time looking at it, as I've an awareness that you'd pull my eyes out if you saw me. Besides, I'm married now, so that all doesn't matter.”
― Brandon Sanderson Robert Jordan

“I hope your bacon burns.”
― Diana Wynne Jones , Howl’s Moving Castle