Stephanie Lahart's Blog - Posts Tagged "parenting-advice"

I want you to take a close look at your life. Do you find yourself rushing all of the time?

Well, Think about THIS: We go about living our lives on a daily basis, and we have what we call a “to-do list.” We have to do grocery shopping, stop by the cleaners, pick our children up from day care/school, wash the car, walk and feed the pets, go by the bank. And the list goes on and on.

Every day we do what would be considered “the norm.” We get SO busy that sometimes we forget to slow down and appreciate life as it should be. Don’t get me wrong, all of these things that we do are important, but it’s also equally important to find a good balance with everything else in our lives. Learn to relax. Don’t be in a rush. Take your time, and remember to value the things that are truly important. Many people don’t realize just how valuable life is until something tragic happens. I’m going to give you an eye-opening example of what I’m talking about.

Do you take the time to hug and/or kiss your loved ones every day? Do you take the time to cook and then sit down with the family to enjoy it? Do you take time out of your day to just laugh, smile, or unwind from it all? Do you make time for “family time?” Do you take the time to ask your mate or somebody who’s close to you “How was your day” and be patient enough to allow them to answer and then talk about it? Do you take the time to say “I love you?” Do you take the time to sit down and have long, deep conversations?

Do you allow yourself time to do what you enjoy, or do you spend all of your time only doing what you HAVE to do? Can you sit through an entire movie or show without answering or looking at your phone? Are you too busy on the computer that you don’t even notice what’s really going on in your household? Do you allow your mind to take a break and rest? Did you stop doing something that you love because you feel like you’re too old? Remember, age is just a number. When was the last time, or have you ever taken a long train ride and enjoyed the sound, sights, and people around you?

I could go on and on, but I think that you get my point by now. We have to allow time for the things that really matter. Now that I’ve got your attention, it’s time for you to ask yourself: “What can I do to bring balance into my life?” When we know better, we should do better. You owe it to yourself. Live life to the fullest! Value what’s most important, and allow yourself to enjoy all of the peace that comes with it.

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“It’s so easy and convenient to buy our children gifts, but I encourage and challenge you to give them gifts that TRULY matter! The gift of unconditional love. The gift of encouragement. The gift of support. The gift of friendship. The gift of communication,understanding, and patience. The gift of guidance and support. The gift of quality time. And the gift of loving them for who THEY are. Material things are nice, but NOTHING compares to genuine love! Parenting should be taken seriously.”

– Author Stephanie Lahart

This article was written to give parents some real food-for-thought about staying in their unhealthy relationship for the sake of the kids. It's an eye-opener as to how kids can be affected negatively because the parents choose to stay together although they're clearly unhappily married. Sometimes, we as parents, think that we're making the best choices for our children, but in actuality, we're doing more damage than good. This article is honest and truthful. We have an obligation to do right by our children. Right?

I hear a lot of people say that they're staying in an unhappy relationship for the sake of the kids. Both parents clearly don't get along anymore and they both want to get out of the relationship.

This is where you have to ask yourself some tough questions: Is arguing and bickering in front of the kids all of the time healthy? Is it fair to the kids that they have to live in a home where we don't speak respectfully to one another? Is it fair that the kids have to witness abuse? Remember, abuse is not just physical. Is it fair that the kids hear us argue over finances all of the time? Is it fair to pretend that we're happy when they know that we're not? What kind of message are you sending to them?

When you're in a relationship and you're both willing to work things out, like going to counseling or getting outside help from the church or whatever your choice may be, that's one thing. But when you both know in your hearts that it's over, it would be wise for both of you to be mature, make arrangements, and move on for the sake of the kids.

What good is it to stay for the kids if all they see is unhealthy behavior from their mom and dad? It's just not fair to them. It's important to know this: When children witness this kind of behavior regularly, they can easily become scared, confused, angry, and feel isolated. Bringing kids up in an environment that's unhealthy can also cause them to be mentally unstable. If your kids are old enough to understand, it can affect how they act in school and the relationships that they build with others.

I know that walking away from a relationship when you have kids can be a very difficult choice to make, but think about the kids. They don't deserve this. If they can't have their mom and dad behave like loving adults as it should be, then what good is staying? You're main goal should be raising happy, healthy, and good-natured children. Living in a negative environment will soon rub off on them. Kids can feel when something's not right. Kids know how to get attention whether it is in a negative or positive way. They'll act out in ways that aren't normal because they're seeking attention. They'll start getting into trouble or hurting themselves simply because they don't quite understand what's going on. Most kids will begin to think that they're at fault.

You say that you're staying for the kids, but ask yourself, is it truly worth it? Seriously think it through.

Stephanie Lahart is an Author, Poet, Teen Motivational Speaker, and a Teen Mentor. She also has 2 successful online stores: TshirtsbyLahart and InspirationbyLahart. Want to connect with and/or learn more about Stephanie Lahart? Feel free to visit her website. https://about.me/stephanie.lahart