Nancy Hale's Blog

From the Latin scriptura, which means “writings” or script, the sacred texts of Christianity are laid down by men inspired by God to guide the faithful to Christ. They are there to lead us to the truth. The verse below explains perfectly the purpose of the scripture—to aid Christians to live a full life in the goodness of the Lord.

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for instruction, for conviction, for correction, and for training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. (2 Tim. 3:16, NIV)

Understanding the scripture is essential if we desire to live a good life that is fulfilling in all aspects. Only in understanding the Word of God we can be more receptive to the blessings of happiness, joy, hope, peace, love, and improved health.

Here’s a daily ritual you can do at home.

When you wake up, read a verse from the Bible and contemplate on how you can apply the Word of God on that day. Before going to sleep, read the passage again and reflect about how it brought improvement to your day. Reflecting upon these holy words will create a more thoughtful attitude in you and will bring inner peace and tranquility to your soul.

So don’t be daunted by the challenges that each day can bring. Just remember that the Lord has provided us with words that can aid us, and by practicing daily, you are sure to live a full and happy life with blessings from above.

My journey of discovering the Holy Bible’s use in my life changed me in different ways. I’d love to share it with you too. Check out my book, My Journey! I am also on Facebook, Twitter, and Goodreads!

The post The Use of Scripture appeared first on My Journey.

A person going through grief needs space to mourn, to be angry, to be silent, to ponder, to be numb, and to feel. They need an avenue where they won’t be judged or misunderstood for feeling the way they do. It’s a little hard to find such space in a crowded world. This space, however, can be found in the empty pages of a personal journal.

By keeping a journal one can find release for a wide range of emotions. Often once you have written down what you are feeling you can begin to address them. By writing down your feelings, you can often identify where the feelings come from and sort them out better. By writing down your feelings, you can process them in a healthier way. Journaling can be the best way to begin the grief process.

Journaling can be very private. You can cry, scream, and curse in the privacy of your own space. There is no judgement in your journaling. The privacy of your own space provides a safe place to express every emotion as it surfaces with no feelings of guilt or shame and no walls. Journaling is a private affair; therefore, the writer is free to express everything that has been stuffed down inside. Journaling can set you free and help you release your feelings. Therapists often say that “if you write it you will own it”. All this means is that once it has been written down you get to face it head on and you no longer need to run from that emotion. You can process the emotion and be prepared to move on.

How about you? If you are grieving a loss, get a pen and write all those feelings down. Share your stories with me on the comments section below. I’d also love to share with you my personal journey of moving beyond grief. Check out my book, My Journey! You may also reach me via Facebook, Twitter, and Goodreads.

The post How Journaling Can Be Helpful appeared first on My Journey.

Loss is a fact of life. The process of losing something or someone special is very painful. There is no human who has not felt the profound feeling of loss. Holding on to faith and the belief that when our time here ends, we will meet again in heaven can sustain us during the darkest of moments. Sometimes it may feel that the darkness of sorrow will never end, however, keeping the faith will get you through it all. By trusting in God and his promise you will find courage to continue.

Even little children need to grieve. They experience loss in a different way than adults but they do grieve and they need time to do so. They grieve in bits and pieces in short segments. They need freedom to grieve in their own way. They need the chance to talk about their feelings and play out what they feel. Teaching children about God’s promise offers them hope and the wisdom that they are never alone rather than abandonment and despair.

We all need time to be alone with our feelings and we also need to feel free to reach out to others of faith to enrich our faith and courage. We are never alone on this journey and our hope is to reconnect on the other side. The memory of your loved one will never fade. They will always remain in your heart. The best way to honor your loved one is to keep the faith of the Lord in your heart and live life to the fullest in His grace.

How do you deal with loss? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below. If you need someone to talk to, I may be reached through my accounts on Facebook, Twitter, and Goodreads.

The post Keeping the Faith appeared first on My Journey.

In times of grief, isolation is often a most preferred state. One can wallow without being pressured to “move on as soon as possible.” However, what really should be done in these trying times is to establish an open line of communication with the people who cares for us the most, with the people who understand the pain too. In cases like this, oftentimes, connecting with people who are undergoing similar situations can be uplifting.

I learned this by being a part of a church-related group called the Teams of Our Lady. Teams of Our Lady (TOOL) is an international Catholic movement for married Christian couples. It is present in over seventy countries. The movement’s purpose is to “help couples discover the riches contained in the sacrament of marriage and to help them live together in faith.” The couples of this movement aim to “bear witness to Christian marriage in Church and in the world.” It is named after Our Lady, Mary, the mother of Jesus, as the movement aims to live by her perfect example of saying yes to God’s call. Mary has been the patroness of the movement since it was first conceptualized in late 1930s in Paris, France. The movement began rather simply with several married couples of a Catholic church seeking the counsel and guidance of their parish priest. The couples wanted to establish a spiritual-based way to share how faith in God is interlaced with marriage life. They wanted to share their personal experiences in their marriages and how they incorporated faith to grow deeper in love with their spouses and with God. It was in 1947 when the movement was officially named Equipes Notre Dame or Teams of Our Lady. Around eighty years after its birth, the movement is actively helping couples in over seventy countries across the globe.

The couples in a team provide courage, mutual comfort, and counseling for each other through living by TOOL’s five universal endeavors: daily prayer together, reading scripture daily, annual retreat, monthly sit down, monthly meetings, and lastly, code for living. These are faithfully observed by the members to strengthen their spirituality as a team, as a couple, and as an individual.

The married couples of TOOL commit to becoming a “team” in every sense of the word. Each member aims to support each other in their daily grind to be God’s children in a world dreaded by hopelessness and loose morals. My husband, Ron, and I joined several years after the death of my first husband, Chet. We have been on the same team for ten years, and they have become family to us. Had we known about TOOL earlier, we would have joined sooner than we did. We meet monthly to share a meal together and talk about our spiritual highs and lows. We have our scripture reading and discuss study topics during our gatherings. We conduct business meetings too. Other couples have also regarded the Teams of Our Lady as a real “tool” for marriage. They found inspiration and encouragement from each other to continue to live by their marriage vows. Together, the couples in a team grow in their journey of faith and love for the glory of God.

In TOOL, couples voluntarily share their stories and struggles, and they receive the love, comfort, and courage they need to overcome the hurdles. Being part of TOOL has opened an entirely new chapter for me and Ron, one which held promise for happier and more God-centered days. There, I also witnessed how other couples dealt with their grief over a loved one’s death. As someone who underwent the same situation, my heart went out to them. I learned that people undergoing hardships can find the sincerest comfort and encouragement they need from those who already underwent similar hardships. This has become one of the roles Ron and I had in our team.  I have grown spiritually in my time with TOOL. It helped me gain different perspectives in my career in terms of understanding grief for each story was different from the other, each means to move on unique in many ways. Indeed, connecting with people who understands and wants to understand you in times of your struggle and your walk with Christ is the best way to face your loss. Teams of Our Lady inspired me to conquer grief, better live by the sacrament of marriage, and live out my faith in the Lord, the Loving Father. It is a great movement to be part of if you and your spouse seek greater purpose for your marriage. But don’t just take my word for it. Sign yourself up in the movement and discover for yourself!

I would you especially love to hear your thoughts about your experiences about connecting with people who goes through the same things as you. Comment them down below. You may also reach me via Twitter, Facebook, and Goodreads.

References

For Your Marriage. 2014. “A TOOL For Your Marriage: Our Experience With Teams Of Our Lady.” Accessed June 14, 2017. http://www.foryourmarriage.org/a-tool-for-your-marriage-our-experience-with-teams-of-our-lady/.

Equipes Notre-Dame. n.d. “Why the Teams?” Accessed June 14, 2017. http://www.equipes-notre-dame.com/en/teams-of-our-lady/team-life/the-endeavours.

The post Teams of Our Lady: Its Importance in Our Life appeared first on My Journey.

To connect with a loved one is an essential need for all. Miles and miles of distance from a beloved is painful, especially when it entails limited means of communication. For military families, this is usually the case, at least, before the advent of technology. Today, distance is easily covered through a variety of digital communication means. Technological development has enabled us to instantly connect with our loved ones.

However, long before mail was easily typed onto a screen, delivered with one click, received in less than a second, the process of sending and receiving mail was gruesome. Long before the immediate access and cheap services of internet-based networks to any part of the globe, calling someone overseas was a difficult, complicated, and costly procedure.

In the 1970s, military families had to settle with postal service which was alternatively and aptly called snail mail due to the long period of time it took to be delivered. At that time, for soldiers deployed in other countries, especially in the Middle East, snail mail would reach them months after it was sent by their families. Today’s postal mail would take only days and a maximum of a few weeks still depending on the location. In the past, the mail delivery or letter delivery would take weeks and up to months depending where the soldier was deployed.

The other ways soldiers could contact their families and vice versa during those years would be through mail and care packages sent by a plane, and cargo shipments. Evidently, photos weren’t sent as attachments to an e-mail before. Military families had to send actual photos in their letters. Today, one can easily attach a photo, audio file, or videos to an e-mail. It has indeed become easier to feel connected today.

It is entirely a blessing how things are easier these days for military families. A homesick soldier could easily call his family after a few dials on the phone. When allowed, they could talk for hours. There are a lot of online platforms and software too that primarily offer unlimited hours of free video calling whatever part of the globe the other party may be. However, the old-fashioned handwritten letters prove to be far more valuable than the intangible digital ones. You could reread them anytime and keep them for the longest years. They could serve as palpable endearing keepsakes of memories from long ago. However, while a taste of nostalgia is good, it is a far better duty to see and appreciate how technology has further developed our communication methods of today.

Over the years, communication has been made easier for military families. We are blessed with today’s technology, with God making it known to mankind how technology can be best cultivated for our comfort. Times have indeed changed. The long agonizing wait for a letter that may or may not come no longer exists. Waiting has been rendered an unnecessary concept in this era of instantaneity. What used to take up days and huge amounts of effort now only take up seconds and a few clicks. What a great difference indeed—a great difference that shouldn’t go unappreciated.

Have a few thoughts to share about the communication between militaries and their families then and now? Let’s discuss in the comments section below or send me a tweet @AuthorNancyHale!

The post Staying Connected Before and Now appeared first on My Journey.

Painstakingly difficult. When the love of your life passed away, grief took away your light. Everything is shrouded with dark clouds; you’re in so much pain. You have promised everlasting devotion and love to your spouse, and now he’s gone.

Years passed by without him on your side, then suddenly, a miracle happened—you fall in love again. Is it wrong to let your heart beat for another? Definitely not. As 1 Timothy 5:14 says, “So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander” (ESV). More so, the heart knows no bounds, regardless of how many times it was broken—the heart always heals if treated right.

Now, you’re ready to promise yourself to another man—for better or for worse, ’til death do you part. But this time, as you utter the words “I do,” you are not only marrying the man standing beside you at the altar. You are also marrying his children and the bond they have formed prior to your marriage. Are your heart and mind prepared to start a new journey?

It’s not to say that remarriage after the death of a spouse and having stepchildren are difficult things to do. Some families ease into the transition without a hitch provided the right kind of care and love is put into the process, although the average blended family takes at least five years to adjust. Now, if you want some tips on how to become a good stepparent, then here are three things to keep in mind.

Love Your Stepchildren Unconditionally

Blame it on fairy tales or movies, but some people see stepparents as selfish and evil. This is your chance to prove them wrong. Make sure you treat your stepchildren like your own flesh and blood because they are your children. The moment you married their father, you have become their mother, so act like one.

Be there when they need you. Always make their needs a priority. Teach them good family values. Inspire them to become the better version of themselves. Most importantly, never give up on them.

Respect Their Adjustment Period

Allow your stepchildren to adapt to their new environment. Do not force yourself into their personal space. Just make yourself available for them and let them get to know you through time. Who knows, your occasional chitchats while you’re making them breakfast will give way to more meaningful conversations in the future.

Avoid Any Expectations

Every story of being a stepmom is different. You may have heard about a successful one, but you may have also seen some stepmom efforts gone wrong. Instead of comparing your family with others, why don’t you try to create a wonderful story that is completely your own. This will help you soften the challenges of living in a new environment with your stepchildren.

Remarriage and expanding your family may sound hard, but it’s all worth it. Just trust that you can handle the pressure of creating new bonds and relationships. It may take some time before you can become a full-time stepparent. The most important thing is to never give up.

References

GotQuestions.org. “What does the Bible say about remarriage after the death of your spouse?” Accessed June 14, 2017. https://www.gotquestions.org/remarriage-death.html.

Young, Karen. n.d. “Being a Stepparent: What You Need to Know to Make It Work.” Hey Sigmund. Accessed June 14, 2017. http://www.heysigmund.com/being-a-stepparent/.

Lyness, D’Arcy. 2013. “Becoming a Stepparent.” KidsHealth, September. Accessed June 14, 2017. http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/stepparent.html.

The post To Love Again and More appeared first on My Journey.

Dealing with loss is never an easy thing. For military families, the worst thing that can happen to them is to hear that they’ve lost a family member in service. For military spouses, the loss of their partners prompts them to face major life adjustments, which usually include rearing their children as a single parent. Fortunately, there are benefits and support groups that can help survivors cope with their loss.

There is a program that gives family members financial help before any other survival benefits are available to them. This onetime nontaxable payment is known as military death gratuity. The US Department of Defense shells out $100,000 for survivors of service members who died under certain conditions. Details about the eligibility and benefits are on www.military.com, while the actual Claim Certification and Voucher for Death Gratuity Payment form (a.k.a. DD Form 397) can be downloaded here. The form can be submitted to any Casualty Assistance Center. Here is a directory with the addresses of all centers.

For families who need more than a onetime gratuity, there is the Survivors’ Pension benefit, which is payable to a low-income, unremarried spouse and unmarried children of a deceased veteran. Details about eligibility can be found in the US Department of Veterans’ Affairs website. The claim application form can be downloaded here and can be mailed to any of three VA offices in Philadelphia, Milwaukee, or St. Paul.

Aside from financial issues, there are also matters of the heart. Death is, of course, a heavy burden one does not need to bear alone, and the military has chaplains who provide moral and mental support. The US Chaplain Corps takes care of the spiritual well-being of enlisted soldiers and their families. In the case of a fallen soldier, the chaplain may go to their family. Their mission is to guide the family in their time of grief and assist them in any spiritual matter.

If a man of the cloth is not enough, there are volunteer communities that can help as well. One such community is TAPS (Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors). TAPS helpline is 800-959-TAPS (8277) and is available 24-7. Joining them via their website keeps survivors up-to-date with events and news that may help their situation.

References

US Department of Veterans Affairs. “Survivors Pension.” Accessed April 21, 2017. http://www.benefits.va.gov/pension/spousepen.asp.

Military.com. “Death Gratuity.” Accessed April 19, 2017. http://www.military.com/benefits/survivor-benefits/death-gratuity.html.

The post Military Support for Loss appeared first on My Journey.

You can’t choose who to fall in love with, and being away from the one you love for even a moment is difficult. It is a bitter truth that is hard to swallow. To fall in love with someone who you know will be deployed as part of the military is not only heart wrenching, it is incredibly bittersweet. It is a challenging experience that can climax with sweet rewards but only after overcoming the heartbreak and its most excruciating aspect—waiting.

If you happen to have a spouse in the military, you have to expect a fair amount of waiting. As a matter of fact, it involves a lot of waiting, and this kind of waiting isn’t easy at all. Being a military spouse is no walk in the park, especially for newlyweds.

One of the most famous spouses was Penelope, the Odysseus’s wife who waited for twenty years while her husband fought in the Trojan War and got waylaid on his way home. She was beset with so many problems while he was away: unwanted suitors, taking care of their home, and raising their son. Sound familiar?

These are just some of the issues that military spouses go through. Dealing with temptations, the maintenance of their homes, and the responsibility of raising children without a partner is enough to make anyone give up. But there is a certain quality these spouses have, and that is fortitude. These people who wait for their loved ones to come home are the people who dread receiving a phone call with bad news. These are the people who get chills down their spine every time they hear a doorbell ring or a knock on the door, knowing that their spouse is engaged in a deadly confrontation or stationed in a high-risk area. These people have to prepare themselves to explain to their children why mommy or daddy isn’t coming home anymore. These are strong people who know how to keep on living despite the fear. They know that they shouldn’t put their lives on hold because they are waiting. These amazing military spouses know that they have to keep active and stay busy doing positive things in order to allay the worries of waiting.

So if you are a newlywed military spouse, take advice from the wives of veterans. Connect with your spouse’s base or command ombudsman to be able to receive reports of your partner’s activity. Make friends with the other spouses and keep busy by connecting with others to help pass the time, because one day the one you love will come back. And that day will be an ever-so-special homecoming day!

The post A Military Spouse appeared first on My Journey.

Being in the military is not an easy feat. It is an institution that requires dedication, discipline, and determination, and demands so much out of a soldier that those who join are changed forever. Enlisting in the military is a patriotic act of self-sacrifice where soldiers voluntarily leave their families and loved ones behind in order to protect and serve the country from those that seek to harm it. Though service might lead to glory, those who are in the military and their families know that they will be in harm’s way, but it is a risk they are willing to take for honor and pride.

Some critics question the reason for those who join the military. One reason, they say, is that they join for the money. Military pensions and benefits are often preferable to a clerical or a dead-end job behind a counter or a desk. Some people cannot afford higher education, so the GI Bill that provides thirty-six months of education for veterans and eligible service members is a very enticing offer, especially in a world that won’t give your resume a second glance if you haven’t done at least four years of college. This is what many breadwinners with families to take care of do, and it is often a painful experience to see these families grieve for the loss of their beloved parent, child, or sibling.

Another reason is that they enlist for the travel opportunities. The United States has many bases around the world, and joining the military can be an exciting route for would-be explorers wanting to see exotic places that they otherwise would not have been able to go to on a regular salary.

For others, it becomes traditional. Military families have their sons and daughters enlist as a traditional career route for them, and these families are proud of this way of giving back to the country they love.

But whatever the reason, in the end, it all boils down to their love for their homeland. This is the kind of American patriotism that values human rights, the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness that form the core values of the American way of life. These men and women are patriots that want to protect their homeland and their loved ones from external threat. These people make the ultimate sacrifice for both land and love and are often the most revered heroes. These heroes might be someone’s father, brother, son, mother, sister, or daughter, and there is a certain shine when they are spoken of because they bring pride not only to themselves but also to their friends and family. These people are treated with respect and honor because they have taken an immense responsibility voluntarily.

Most veterans when asked why they served in the military will say it was because of honor and pride. It was because of the honor they felt when they protected those they loved and the values they held dear. It was because of the pride they felt when children grew up free and without worries, when people went to work and school without fears and threat, and when they protected their way of life and all those who believed in it. Truly, it is because of the military that makes the United States of America a land of the free and the home of the brave.

The post Honor and Pride appeared first on My Journey.

Have you ever experienced a God-moment? Do you know what it means to have one?

In our lives, we experience God-moments—moments of ineffable grace that happen to us purely through God’s will. We often try to rationalize these moments. We try to search for a reason but find no rationale for them to have happened. That is when we realize that God had a role in what took place.

We do not always see an event as a God-moment. It happened because God wants His beloved children to feel His presence. He reveals Himself to us. We tend to overlook God-moments because our lives are often too hectic. When we look back, we realize that important events were, in fact, God-moments. For example, the day you aced an important exam with minimal study time, the day your path crossed with that special person, the first time you held your newborn child—in these moments, it is easy to feel His presence and His work being done.

Allowing yourself time to be still and become aware of God working in your life is important. Realize that every waking moment is a God-moment. Right now, as you read this, God is smiling with you. He is with you in every mundane task. He sees you and walks beside you when you are at your lowest point and after you have overcome your hardest challenge.

When we become aware of God’s presence in those moments—in the mundane, in the everyday routine—our perception of the world changes. It is as if God has opened the windows to our spirit. We become aware, accepting, trusting, and contented. We also acknowledge, at these moments, our nothingness without Him. These God-moments, when we accept and know His power, can be very humbling, and they can strengthen our faith.

You might think you have to be holy and blameless in order to receive this divine gift of a God-moment. However, as a human, God wants you to connect with Him. Deep in our hearts, God is there waiting for us to accept him. He is ready to give us what we need—His gift and His presence to fulfill His purpose. We are given God-moments to be reminded of his ultimate promise—to remind us we are never alone!

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