Franklin Gillette's Blog - Posts Tagged "compatibility"
Relating on the Ship of Relationships
We all know that when we live and work in harmony with others, we release creative energies to achieve great goals than we are capable to do on our own.
Relationships are jeopardized when we translate needs into unrealistic expectations, and in most cases to our own benefit.
Meaning, we tend to look into the eyes of others but to see from our own hearts.
As adults, the two most common distortions are the result of expecting to be taken care of and/or expecting one other person to be everything to you according to your wishes, according to your likes, dislikes, and your expectations.
However, mutual trust and respect and acceptance are the best nurtures when we are willing to risk vulnerability.
Most people engage in relationships where they expect the party to be the source of all the intellectual and emotional feeds.
They tend to rest in another person’s responsibilities, and therefore blaming the next person when they can’t come to mutual agreements on things that are based on their own inner thoughts.
They count 1,2,3,4, and 5, and expect the person to pick up 6, 7, 8, and 9 without having any root understanding or emotional meaning to what they’re trying to say.
And no two people will ever see anything the exact same way because everybody that exists is a personal individual and an incident that will never ever happen again in life, nor has it ever happened before.
Often what happens is we shut out all possibilities for true loving relationships because we allow fear to dominate our thoughts, feelings, and behavior.
Be aware that your relationship grows and changes as you do.
The more objective you become, the more you free yourself from fears, the more insightful and creative your thoughts will become.
Gradually you will be able to relate fear with feelings of self-love, worth, and compassion.
Compatibility: The Code of Harmony for Love and Unity
Franklin Gillette
Relationships are jeopardized when we translate needs into unrealistic expectations, and in most cases to our own benefit.
Meaning, we tend to look into the eyes of others but to see from our own hearts.
As adults, the two most common distortions are the result of expecting to be taken care of and/or expecting one other person to be everything to you according to your wishes, according to your likes, dislikes, and your expectations.
However, mutual trust and respect and acceptance are the best nurtures when we are willing to risk vulnerability.
Most people engage in relationships where they expect the party to be the source of all the intellectual and emotional feeds.
They tend to rest in another person’s responsibilities, and therefore blaming the next person when they can’t come to mutual agreements on things that are based on their own inner thoughts.
They count 1,2,3,4, and 5, and expect the person to pick up 6, 7, 8, and 9 without having any root understanding or emotional meaning to what they’re trying to say.
And no two people will ever see anything the exact same way because everybody that exists is a personal individual and an incident that will never ever happen again in life, nor has it ever happened before.
Often what happens is we shut out all possibilities for true loving relationships because we allow fear to dominate our thoughts, feelings, and behavior.
Be aware that your relationship grows and changes as you do.
The more objective you become, the more you free yourself from fears, the more insightful and creative your thoughts will become.
Gradually you will be able to relate fear with feelings of self-love, worth, and compassion.
Compatibility: The Code of Harmony for Love and Unity
Franklin Gillette
Mutual Love
Finally, it is important to face your own loneliness.
Only when we are willing to be alone, to commit ourselves to a relationship with the master within do we discover the captivity of our love with a whole heart.
Our sense of belonging to something larger than ourselves brings true emotional stability.
Until we bring our own relationships into context of our highest ideals and dedicate our lives to the service of those ideals, we will not be effective in creating loving, harmonious relationships with others.
Peace begins within each one of us and extends beyond us to an ever expanding network of connections dependent only on the strength of our commitment to spiritual realities.
Ask our self if we confront one another as spirits, or do we confront one another as bodies?
If we confront one another as physical beings, then we have so many gratifications and things we need to keep the physical body supplied that we demand more of a person than is expected.
For physical things cannot occupy the same space at the same time. However, spiritual things can submerge, blend, or mix.
Now when two people come together to solve a problem, the first thing that they must confront themselves with is themselves and come to the reality that 90% of the problem is themselves and what they expect of the other person and not so much of what the other person should expect of them.
Most arguments stem from somebody feeling they were righter than somebody else.
And if the second person immediately agrees that they are wrong, then there is no place for an argument.
Arguments are born on confusion, and confusion is a collaboration of many thoughts and ideas or situations and purposes
Once you establish a mutual understanding, our purposes, our ideas, and our thoughts will automatically mesh.
This is called mutual love.
If mutual love is to be found in any individual or group of people, they must approach it individually and look from the inside outward and not from the outside inward.
You’re not supposed to dress people in your clothes and expect them to fit.
You have to let people come to you dressed the way they’re dressed so their clothes fit and therewith they’ll put forth their best effort.
Every journey is began with one foot step.
If we are to establish a relationship which is harmonious and be compatible to one another, we must start step by step, not leaps and bounds, and not runs.
So let’s gradually learn to understand each other, or to re-understand each other and to reconnect the joints that have been broken out of both or all of our ignorance’s.
We must learn to live and get along with one another.
This is called compatibility.
Compatibility: The Code of Harmony for Love and Unity
Franklin Gillette
Only when we are willing to be alone, to commit ourselves to a relationship with the master within do we discover the captivity of our love with a whole heart.
Our sense of belonging to something larger than ourselves brings true emotional stability.
Until we bring our own relationships into context of our highest ideals and dedicate our lives to the service of those ideals, we will not be effective in creating loving, harmonious relationships with others.
Peace begins within each one of us and extends beyond us to an ever expanding network of connections dependent only on the strength of our commitment to spiritual realities.
Ask our self if we confront one another as spirits, or do we confront one another as bodies?
If we confront one another as physical beings, then we have so many gratifications and things we need to keep the physical body supplied that we demand more of a person than is expected.
For physical things cannot occupy the same space at the same time. However, spiritual things can submerge, blend, or mix.
Now when two people come together to solve a problem, the first thing that they must confront themselves with is themselves and come to the reality that 90% of the problem is themselves and what they expect of the other person and not so much of what the other person should expect of them.
Most arguments stem from somebody feeling they were righter than somebody else.
And if the second person immediately agrees that they are wrong, then there is no place for an argument.
Arguments are born on confusion, and confusion is a collaboration of many thoughts and ideas or situations and purposes
Once you establish a mutual understanding, our purposes, our ideas, and our thoughts will automatically mesh.
This is called mutual love.
If mutual love is to be found in any individual or group of people, they must approach it individually and look from the inside outward and not from the outside inward.
You’re not supposed to dress people in your clothes and expect them to fit.
You have to let people come to you dressed the way they’re dressed so their clothes fit and therewith they’ll put forth their best effort.
Every journey is began with one foot step.
If we are to establish a relationship which is harmonious and be compatible to one another, we must start step by step, not leaps and bounds, and not runs.
So let’s gradually learn to understand each other, or to re-understand each other and to reconnect the joints that have been broken out of both or all of our ignorance’s.
We must learn to live and get along with one another.
This is called compatibility.
Compatibility: The Code of Harmony for Love and Unity
Franklin Gillette
Compatibility Part 1
-Excerpt from Compatibility Code of Harmony for Love and Unity
First, we must do what we can to help resolve the situation.
Second, it is important to access the relationship on the basis of need and expectation.
We all have certain needs which are met within harmonious relationships such as the need for companionship, for love given to receive, given and received, for compassion, for recognition, and acceptance.
We must come to the reality that most of the time inharmonious relationships between two people are coming from either both or one.
Neither can come to a sensible acceptance that it could be themselves.
There with, they cast the stone.
We all know that when we live and work in harmony with others, we release creative energies to achieve great goals than we are capable to do on our own.
Relationships are jeopardized when we translate needs into unrealistic expectations, and in most cases to our own benefit.
Meaning, we tend to look into the eyes of others but to see from our own hearts.
As adults, the two most common distortions are the result of expecting to be taken care of and/or expecting one other person to be everything to you according to your wishes, according to your likes, dislikes, and your expectations.
However, mutual trust and respect and acceptance are the best nurtures when we are willing to risk vulnerability.
Most people engage in relationships where they expect the party to be the source of all the intellectual and emotional feeds.
They tend to rest in another person’s responsibilities, and therefore blaming the next person when they can’t come to mutual agreements on things that are based on their own inner thoughts.
They count 1,2,3,4, and 5, and expect the person to pick up 6, 7, 8, and 9 without having any root understanding or emotional meaning to what they’re trying to say.
Most people when they approach you they begin a conversation abruptly, and they assume that you started out in their head with them.
They start such conversations as, “remember when we did such and such?” or “if you had so and so?” or “did you see so and so?” or “didn’t you see it the way I see it?”
And no two people will ever see anything the exact same way because everybody that exists is a personal individual and an incident that will never ever happen again in life, nor has it ever happened before.
Often what happens is we shut out all possibilities for true loving relationships because we allow fear to dominate our thoughts, feelings, and behavior.
Compatibility: The Code of Harmony for Love and Unity
Franklin Gillette
First, we must do what we can to help resolve the situation.
Second, it is important to access the relationship on the basis of need and expectation.
We all have certain needs which are met within harmonious relationships such as the need for companionship, for love given to receive, given and received, for compassion, for recognition, and acceptance.
We must come to the reality that most of the time inharmonious relationships between two people are coming from either both or one.
Neither can come to a sensible acceptance that it could be themselves.
There with, they cast the stone.
We all know that when we live and work in harmony with others, we release creative energies to achieve great goals than we are capable to do on our own.
Relationships are jeopardized when we translate needs into unrealistic expectations, and in most cases to our own benefit.
Meaning, we tend to look into the eyes of others but to see from our own hearts.
As adults, the two most common distortions are the result of expecting to be taken care of and/or expecting one other person to be everything to you according to your wishes, according to your likes, dislikes, and your expectations.
However, mutual trust and respect and acceptance are the best nurtures when we are willing to risk vulnerability.
Most people engage in relationships where they expect the party to be the source of all the intellectual and emotional feeds.
They tend to rest in another person’s responsibilities, and therefore blaming the next person when they can’t come to mutual agreements on things that are based on their own inner thoughts.
They count 1,2,3,4, and 5, and expect the person to pick up 6, 7, 8, and 9 without having any root understanding or emotional meaning to what they’re trying to say.
Most people when they approach you they begin a conversation abruptly, and they assume that you started out in their head with them.
They start such conversations as, “remember when we did such and such?” or “if you had so and so?” or “did you see so and so?” or “didn’t you see it the way I see it?”
And no two people will ever see anything the exact same way because everybody that exists is a personal individual and an incident that will never ever happen again in life, nor has it ever happened before.
Often what happens is we shut out all possibilities for true loving relationships because we allow fear to dominate our thoughts, feelings, and behavior.
Compatibility: The Code of Harmony for Love and Unity
Franklin Gillette
Compatibility Part 2
It is very difficult to solve a situation between one person to another when you’re dealing with one person to a group of others.
For each person has their own motive for trying to solve the situation or to not solve the situation.
So you can never solve a personal relationship when one person is confronted with a group, and the reason being when one person is confronted with a group of people it’s not like when one mind is confronted with one mind and therefore they can come to a clear distinctive definition of their words.
When a group of people are confronting one man we have mass confusion for each person that comes to this meeting to solve the problem comes with their own motives and their own reasons and whether or not they personally want to or don’t want to solve the problem.
So it is important that when you imagine a person in your mind’s eye that you imagine just one person in your mind’s eye.
So I repeat, imagine the other person in your mind’s eye and begin to talk to them.
How are you assuming their response?
Are either of you hurt, angry, defensive, fearful?
Is there some way you can speak to them so that they will respond in a more positive way, or so that you can face them more compassionately?
Do either of you have an unrealistic expectation of the other?
What would your life be without them?
How would their life be different without you?
In what way and ways are your lives connected?
What is the context of your relationship?
Is there a particular issue that causes tension between you?
Can you visualize a solution that will ease the tension?
Are you willing to negotiate a resolution?
Explore the relationship in your mind’s eye from as many different perspectives as possible.
Be aware that your relationship grows and changes as you do.
The more objective you become, the more you free yourself from fears, the more insightful and creative your thoughts will become.
Gradually you will be able to relate fear with feelings of self-love, worth, and compassion.
Compatibility: The Code of Harmony for Love and Unity
Franklin Gillette
For each person has their own motive for trying to solve the situation or to not solve the situation.
So you can never solve a personal relationship when one person is confronted with a group, and the reason being when one person is confronted with a group of people it’s not like when one mind is confronted with one mind and therefore they can come to a clear distinctive definition of their words.
When a group of people are confronting one man we have mass confusion for each person that comes to this meeting to solve the problem comes with their own motives and their own reasons and whether or not they personally want to or don’t want to solve the problem.
So it is important that when you imagine a person in your mind’s eye that you imagine just one person in your mind’s eye.
So I repeat, imagine the other person in your mind’s eye and begin to talk to them.
How are you assuming their response?
Are either of you hurt, angry, defensive, fearful?
Is there some way you can speak to them so that they will respond in a more positive way, or so that you can face them more compassionately?
Do either of you have an unrealistic expectation of the other?
What would your life be without them?
How would their life be different without you?
In what way and ways are your lives connected?
What is the context of your relationship?
Is there a particular issue that causes tension between you?
Can you visualize a solution that will ease the tension?
Are you willing to negotiate a resolution?
Explore the relationship in your mind’s eye from as many different perspectives as possible.
Be aware that your relationship grows and changes as you do.
The more objective you become, the more you free yourself from fears, the more insightful and creative your thoughts will become.
Gradually you will be able to relate fear with feelings of self-love, worth, and compassion.
Compatibility: The Code of Harmony for Love and Unity
Franklin Gillette
