Ryan Casey Waller's Blog

ONE

We are all far more alike than we are different.

Three years ago an ISIS-inspired terrorist killed 49 innocent people at the Pulse nightclub. In my book, Broken, I devote a chapter to this horrible event. The chapter was adapted from a sermon I preached in the days following the shooting. I hope reading it today might offer you an appropriate remembrance of the victims and hope for the goodness that flows from Christ’s admonition that we live as one.

  “There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus.” — Galatians 3:28  John Claypool was a Baptist preacher turned Episcopal priest who, among many other noble endeavors, was involved in the Civil Rights Movement. In his book, The Hopeful Heart, he tells the story about the time he and a rabbi participated in a tense meeting with several African-American ministers. The meeting ended with Claypool and the rabbi being accused of having no courage. Claypool said, “What started as a hopeful endeavor ended in total frustration.” As Claypool left the meeting, he said  to the rabbi, “I think it’s hopeless. This problem is so old, so deep… there’s no way out of it.” The rabbi had lived through the Holocaust. He replied to Claypool, “To the Jew, there is only one unforgivable sin, and that is the sin of despair…Think of the times you’ve been surprised… as you looked at a situation and deemed it hopeless. Then, lo and behold, forces that you did not even realize existed broke in and changed everything… If God can create the things that are from the things that are not and even make dead things come back to life, who are we to set limits on what that kind of potency may yet do?” Have you ever committed the sin of despair? Maybe you weren’t accepted to your dream school or were fired from your job. Maybe your spouse walked out. Whatever it was, you were convinced your life was over, and hope was nowhere to be found. In 2016, we had the worst mass shooting in the history of the United States at a gay night club in Orlando, Florida. The victims were specifically targeted as members of the LGBTQ community (lesbian-gay-bisexual-transgender-queer). After the shooting, one of my gay friends said, “I failed at hope today.” Yeah, I thought. I can understand why. I went to bed a few nights that week feeling this way too. I stirred under the light of the moon, feeling dread, feeling unwell, angry, confused, and very, very sad. I can’t even imagine how my LGBTQ brothers and sisters must have felt. I can’t imagine how they still feel. This was not simply a terrorist attack. This was a mass shooting aimed at gay people. Period. To say it any other way is to invalidate the suffering the members of the LGBTQ community face in this country. There’s a story in Mark’s Gospel that is relevant to what’s happening right now in America. You might remember it. This guy is paralyzed, and his friends really want to get him to Jesus because they believe Jesus can heal him. So they take him to the house where Jesus is, but so many people are there that they can’t get in. But they don’t despair. They climb onto the roof, cut a hole in it, and lower their buddy down to Jesus. What a glorious image! Friends who will stop at nothing to make sure their pal gets the healing he desperately needs. I love it. This story may have been recorded almost two thousand years ago, but I can’t think of one more appropriate for today. We are living in a time when we must carry one another and make sure everyone finds the healing they need, even if we have to climb up on roofs and cut holes in them to make it happen. For a week after the shooting in Orlando, I watched images on television of the wounded being carried hurriedly into the streets, fleeing the nightclub where the shooting took place. I watched, in horror, as a mother wept openly to a reporter, unaware whether her son was dead or alive. Then I watched her weep again days later when she learned he had been killed. This is not the time for debate. This is a time to cut holes in roofs so our friends can get to Jesus because we know that healing takes place at his hands and his feet. And since we’ve been commanded to be Jesus’ hands and feet, we better get to it. There is no better way to do that than by loving one another. In the wake of the Orlando shooting, many people rushed into a debate about sexual ethics and gun control. What I wish had happened is that we had taken some time to simply mourn, be silent, and then ask how we might help one another heal. Sometimes I think we Christians forget that our first responsibility is not to debate one another but to allow Jesus’ love to flood our hearts and minds so that we might go and love our neighbors. All of our neighbors. Saint Paul writes to the people of Galatia, saying that in Jesus Christ, “there is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one.” It sounds nice, really nice. But when a crazed gunman bursts into a gay nightclub with an assault rifle and indiscriminately sprays bullets, killing forty-nine people, I have trouble believing we will ever live as one. Our country is filled with hate, and the Christian experience is rife with division. At times it seems as though we are everything but one. We attack each another, we ridicule, we alienate, we fear, and we hate. And then, some of us even kill our neighbors. But Saint Paul says it ought not to be so among those in Christ. In Christ, we become children of God. When we are baptized in Jesus’ name, we are clothed in his very nature and bound together as one. In other words, there is no you. There is no me. There is only us. What does that mean? Does it mean our differences don’t matter? Does it mean we pretend that Jew and Greek, male and female, are exactly the same? No. Of course not. Christianity doesn’t ask us to erase our individuality-as if that were even possible. Our faith asks us to recognize that our unity is more important than our individuality. It asks that we die, daily, to ourselves so we may rise to new life-true life-in Christ Jesus our Lord. But this transformation will never happen unless we take our true identities seriously. We are children of God, brothers and sisters through our faith in Christ. Nothing runs deeper than this-not a label we ascribe to ourselves nor any given to us by others. We are, by the loving grace of God, his precious and beloved children. 

God sees Christ in you. Did you know that? This means you should see Christ in yourself-and in other people. Once you start seeing from this divine perspective, everything changes. Fr. Richard Rohr, a Catholic priest, says, “From this most positive and dignified position, you can let go of and even easily admit your wrongs. You are being held so strongly and so deeply that you can stop holding onto or defending yourself. God forever sees and loves Christ in you; it is only we who doubt our divine identity as children of God.”

Believing this allows you to be filled with God’s love and enables you to forgive and love yourself, which empowers you to love and forgive others-especially those with whom you disagree. This is what Christians do.

Jesus never sugarcoats his welcoming of people. He tells sinners not to sin, sure, but only after he embraces them, loves them, and becomes their friend. He never worries about being associated with the so-called wrong people, with prostitutes and tax collectors. He doesn’t care about his reputation. He cares about salvation, and he wants everyone to have it. 

Do you remember that dust-up between the Chick-fil-A restaurant chain and the LGBTQ community? The president of Chick-fil-A has a sincerely held belief about traditional marriage that it should be reserved for one man and one woman. It is his right to believe this. Because of this belief, a gay activist organized a boycott against Chick-fil-A. (As an aside, the president and gay activist have since become good friends, but that’s another story about what happens when we dare to look past labels, treat one another with civility, and see the Christ in the other.)

You probably also remember that Chick-fil-A is always closed on Sundays. It’s a company-wide policy. But on the day after the shooting in Orlando-a Sunday-Chick-fil-A brewed gallons of tea and prepared hundreds of sandwiches and handed them out for free to people donating blood to the victims.

No debate. No parsing of opinion. Just love.

People have differences, and these differences matter. But they don’t give us an excuse to withhold love. To love as God loves is to love all of creation. God loves his enemies. And you know who God’s enemies are, right? 

Us. You and me. It sounds harsh, I know, but the Bible teaches that our sins make us enemies of God because sin makes us imperfect and God is perfect. Our sin separates us from God. But this is where things gets interesting. Instead of opposing his enemies, God does something completely different.

God stretches out the arms of love, and he dies for his enemies. For us.

In the letter to the Romans, Paul says, “For if while we were enemies, we were reconciled to God through the death of his Son, much more surely, having been reconciled, will we be saved by his life.”

In our sin, we alienate ourselves from God. Jesus’ response to that sin is to pour out his life for us. What he asks is that we do the same for one another.

There was and still is a lot of anger and blame going around since the Orlando shooting. It is easy to get caught up in blame. It makes us feel better to feel angry and point the finger at someone. My challenge to you is to heed Fr. Rohr’s advice: Take the divine perspective by looking for Jesus in the faces of your brothers and sisters as Christ does. This is the only antidote I know for despair. We cannot, must not despair. It is okay to feel hopeless from time to time. But it is not okay to remain hopeless, because humanity, while deeply divided, is ultimately stitched together by love, not hate. When hatred seeks to rip us apart, God always re-sews in love. Always. We saw this re-making in the weeks following the Orlando shooting. In the midst of tragedy, there were bright moments, as there always are when hatred rears its ugly head. Love fights back. It always does, and love always wins. One way that love wins is through mourning. We must wrap our arms around the LGBTQ community and love them through this awful ache. They are scared right now. The worst mass shooting in history targeted them. How would you feel? I would be terrified. I would feel pushed to the edge of society and very vulnerable. Jesus spends his entire ministry focusing on the vulnerable people. He goes painfully out of his way to ensure that those who feel neglected, downtrodden, and cast aside know of his love. It is not the church’s job to tell you what to believe about every social issue-sexual ethics. gun control, abortion. These are complicated issues with no easy answers. I won’t-and the church shouldn’t-tell you what to believe. The church’s job-and my job-is to declare to you the love of Christ. And that in Christ, there is no longer Jew nor Greek. Slave nor free. No male.No female.Just children.  Children of a living, loving God bound together as one. May we go forth and treat one another as God always intends-as brothers and sisters-children of a most merciful Father who hears our cries in the dark of a bloody night and always, always, always comes running. Rest in Peace:

Stanley Almodovar III. Amanda L. Alvear. Oscar A. Aracena Montero. Rodolfo Ayala Ayala. Antonio Davon Brown. Darryl Roman Burt II. Angel Candelario-Padro. Juan Chavez Martinez. Luis Daniel Conde. Cory James Connell. Tevin Eugene Crosby. Deonka Deidra Drayton. Simón Adrian Carrillo Fernández. Leroy Valentin Fernandez. Mercedez Marisol Flores. Peter Ommy Gonzalez Cruz. Juan Ramon Guerrero. Paul Terrell Henry. Frank Hernandez. Miguel Angel Honorato. Javier Jorge Reyes. Jason Benjamin Josaphat. Eddie Jamoldroy Justice. Anthony Luis Laureano Disla. Christopher Andrew Leinonen. Alejandro Barrios Martinez. Brenda Lee Marquez McCool. Gilberto R. Silva Menendez. Kimberly Jean Morris. Akyra Monet Murray. Luis Omar Ocasio Capo. Geraldo A. Ortiz Jimenez. Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera. Joel Rayon Paniagua. Jean Carlos Mendez Perez. Enrique L. Rios Jr. Jean Carlos Nieves Rodríguez. Xavier Emmanuel Serrano-Rosado. Christopher Joseph Sanfeliz. Yilmary Rodríguez Solivan. Edward Sotomayor Jr. Shane Evan Tomlinson. Martin Benitez Torres. Jonathan A. Camuy Vega. Juan Pablo Rivera Velázquez. Luis Sergio Vielma. Franky Jimmy DeJesus Velázquez. Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon. Jerald Arthur Wright.

Until next time. 

Peace and Love. 

Ryan Casey

Other Posts ONE Read More 7 Things People Who Stay Married Don’t Do Read More BE YOU Read More

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7 Things People Who Stay Married Don’t Do

One. They don’t blame one another. You’re both going to mess up, a lot. When the other person messes up, the best thing to do is remind yourself that it’ll be your turn soon. So give the grace you’re going to want in ten minutes from now.

Two. They don’t limit their partner’s capacity for change. None of us stay married to the same person, even though some of us never get divorced. Human beings are nothing if not a bundle of change. I’m so glad I’m not the same person I was nine years ago and I hope that in nine years I’m not the same person I am today. Empower your partner with independence by encouraging and applauding their growth instead of ridiculing or being suspect of it. Trust that even though they change their career or hair or politics, their love remains.

Three. They don’t make assumptions about what their partner’s role should be based on gender or societal norms. Not every man wants or is even capable of fixing things around the house. Nor do all women enjoy laundry. The best way to figure out what the other wants is by asking and then listening to the response. There are no universal rules for household roles. The same goes for sex, by the way.

Four. They don’t idolize their children. Kids are awesome. We have two. I love them but not more than my wife. Kids make marriage hard because they demand an enormous amount of time and energy. One of the best ways to tank a marriage is to elevate the parenting relationship over the marital one. Don’t do it. You’ll wake up one day, the kids will be gone, and you’ll have no idea who your spouse is. Worse, you won’t know yourself.They don’t take divorce off the table. Jennifer Stanton Hargrave taught me this. Of course divorce is always an option. If you claim it’s not, you’re delusional. There are certain things I can do that would cause my wife to at least consider divorcing me. This is a good thing. Not much good comes from treating a person as though they are our marital prisoner. We all have freedom of choice. We should strive each day to earn the love and loyalty of our spouse with full knowledge they might walk away.

Five. They don’t settle down. Marriage isn’t the end of anything. It’s the launching pad for a grand adventure where two people look one another in the eye and say, “This world is scary as shit. I got your back, no matter what.” Then they go into the world ever more confident to chase their dreams because they’re not doing it alone.

Six. They don’t give up. Ever. If today isn’t how you hoped it would be, there is always tomorrow. Each day is a new day for growth and change and forgiveness. It’s only over if you say it’s over.

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BE YOU

Nobody became a great writer by learning to improve their grammar. By all means, work on your weaknesses. But your time is best spent by realizing who you are and then leaning into what makes you unique. Be you, full throttle.

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Blog

Today I’m going to take care of myself in the following way: whenever I find myself in line for a coffee or waiting at a red light or with a few moments between meetings, I’m not going to pull out my phone.

Instead of filling the moments of pause with productivity or a mindless scroll on social media, I’ll instead gift myself with a moment to be alone. I’ll check in with my body and see how I’m feeling. Or I’ll ask myself about my emotions. Maybe I’ll just daydream for a second or allow myself to anticipate something good coming my way. It doesn’t really matter. The joy will come in the mystery of not knowing what will come up so long as I don’t pull up my phone.

Almost all the recent research shows the less time we spend on our phones, the happier we become. So give it a try today. What’s the worst thing that could happen? You miss a Facebook post you can always see tomorrow?

And let’s get really honest: did you really wanna see that Insta post in the first place?

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It’s the part when you want the Flight Attendant to stop talking so you can keep binging Game of Thrones or wrap up that last but all important text message to your little pooky who just can’t wait to see you when you land. Interrupting your blessed focus is the crew member droning on about emergency exits and water landings and all other manner of events that just aren’t going to be happening on your flight. Not today, Satan, you think. Not today. We’re cruising from Dallas to LA uninterrupted, thank you very much. And I just ain’t dying while enjoying me some Jon Snow.

And you probably won’t because most planes don’t crash. Whenever I fly with someone who is nervous I ask them if they consider themselves lucky. They inevitably tell me they do not consider themselves lucky. “Well,” I say, “then you’re in luck today because you’re not lucky enough to die in a plane crash. The odds are just too great. I don’t know much in life but I know this: you won’t win the lottery and you won’t die in a plane crash. You ain’t Buddy Holly. Sorry.”

I never have any idea if this provides even a morsel comfort. I also don’t care because I know we’re not going down. But instead of blowing off the flight attendant I take a moment to listen to the instruction and not just because my own mother has been a flight attendant for thirty years and I know how brutal the job can be. I pay attention for an entirely different reason.

Well, two actually.

First, I actually do want to know where the closest exit is because, well, shit happens, and if it does surviving is better than the alternative.

It’s the second reason, however, why I really listen. It’s a small message and it’s easy to miss but it’s a message that changed my entire life. You know the part where they talk about the cabin losing pressure? If that happens little masks will drop like manna from the ceiling and everyone is supposed to wear them so we don’t suffocate at 30,000. feet. Great idea, by the way. Thank you smart engineer from ages past. It’s what comes next that fascinates me.

The flight attendant reminds those of us traveling with small children to make sure our own masks are properly secured on our faces before we try and help anyone else. This instruction runs counter to the protective instinct of a parent. Surely we should tend to our young before ourselves. But it’s a bad idea because if we tend to them before ourselves the odds increase that we’ll become incapacitated before any help can be rendered. It’s a basic but difficult concept to embed into our lives-especially those of us called to aid others in life.

So this blog is for you (and me), the ones who take the call in the dead of night, clean the patient off in the bathroom, sit with the friend who won’t stop talking, prescribe the meds, inject the needles, help mend the high conflict family, treat the severely mental ill. There are so many different acts of courageous service that happen on a daily basis we couldn’t possibly recount them all here. What we can do here is create a place for a dose of inspiration every now and again, maybe an article or a video or a simple joke to keep reminding us that if we don’t take care of ourselves first — today — there’ll be no person for us to take care for tomorrow. Because tomorrow, like us, will be gone.

Love yourself today. Fully. Because that’s what you deserve.

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If Christians aren’t the happiest people in the world then our religion probably isn’t true. Jesus Christ said He came to earth so we might have life in abundance. I cannot conceive of any version of abundance that does not include happiness.  Not that anyone is happy all of the time. Of course not. That would actually be its own kind of hell, I think. But that’s an entirely different discussion.

So I’ve been thinking and researching and writing on happiness for a while now. And I think I’ve come up with something significant. I call it The Jesus Secret (TJS). It’s a project that can be described like this:  a Christian personal evaluation and refocus project that uses principles found in Scripture and psychotherapy to guide readers toward a happier life.

My hope is that TJS becomes a book with an entry for every day of the year. Then when the year is over I’d like to publish a new edition for the new year. And then I’d like to keep doing this—forever. Because the journey toward happiness is a never ending one. Because happiness is a choice that must be made every day. And I don’t know about you but I need help making it—every single day.

So I launched this project on Monday via an email sent through Constant Contact. (Those participating will get an email every day).  I asked a few friends if they’d be willing to read some of this material and give me their feedback as to whether or not TJS is an effective tool for happiness. I thought we’d start the project with a handful of people.  We got more than that. The first email went out to 93 people, which surprised me. I thought we’d have maybe 30 because, honestly, there is a stigma attached to the pursuit of happiness. A lot of Christians view happiness as an unworthy goal in life. “God wants us to be holy not happy,” is what I hear most often.

This doesn’t surprise me. In some ways my critics are right.  Nowhere in the Bible does God promise us a happy life. Not once does Jesus say, “Come, follow me, and I’ll lead you to happiness!” What he says is actually much darker. “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me” (Mark 8:34).

If that’s not the epitome of an unhappy sentence, I haven’t read one. Because while I can’t say for sure (I wasn’t there) I’m fairly certain no one in the ancient world picking up a Roman cross was happy about it.  Crosses were heavy, and when you put yours down, that meant it was time to die. So if I’m going  to talk about happiness within a Christian context, then I do have to  deal with this whole business of following Jesus and denying ourselves. Which I will do on this blog in the coming days.

But here’s where we are today. This morning’s email went out to 111 people and new people are getting added constantly. So this tells me that while some folks are skeptical of the project there are a lot of people who need and want the project.

And that makes me happy.

So, I’ll stop here for now but in the coming days continue to elaborate on the ideas contained within TJS and why I believe they’re so needed.

Peace and Love.

-Ryan Casey

P.S. You can subscribe to TJS here

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I got on Amazon and searched for books with the word “greatness” in their title. “How to be Great”, “The Secret to Greatness”, that sort of thing. Do you know many titles I found?

26,000.

26,000 books telling me how to be great.

Jesus boiled greatness down to one thing. No formulas, no gimmicks, just one simple truth. The great person is the one who serves.

You can listen to my sermon here.

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This is a deeply personal sermon I gave in June about hunger and the pain of not having enough money. A lot of us have been there, but we don’t often talk about it. But we should. It helps knowing we’re not alone.

I hope you’ll be encouraged by the closing story to keep your hearts soft and your hands open.

hungry sermon

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