A.J. Adams's Blog

I used to work for an armored car service. I had stopped for lunch and was standing in line to make my purchase.

Customer : Hey, could you help me?

Me: Sure. What can I do for you?

*People often mistake us for police so I liked to make sure they aren’t having an actual emergency.*

Customer: Could you please help me find *item*?

Me: I’m sorry. I don’t work here.

Customer: Are you sure? You look like you work here?

*Not only does our uniform not look anything like that of the employees I was wearing a bullet resistant vest with my company name prominently displayed on the front and back as well as my sidearm.*

Me: Yes, ma’am. I’m pretty sure.

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(During college, I used to go to a fairly large bookstore chain after classes or on the weekends before the chain closed down several years ago. More often than not, I’d start putting books that got left behind by other customers back on their shelves before I leave. There’s no real uniform requirement, so the only difference separating employees and customers is the radio, earpiece set, and apron. I was in the middle of putting away a stack of manga in the graphic novels section.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you know here the automotive and cooking sections are?”

Me: *stares* “Uh…”

(The customer takes a couple seconds to take a good look at me before realizing that I lack earpiece and apron.)

Customer: “Oh, sorry! You looked like you knew what you were doing! I’ll go find an employee.”

(An ACTUAL worker comes up to me as the customer leaves. I went to this particular branch often that we recognize each other.)

Worker: *trying not to laugh, having overhead* “Other people still thinking that you work here?”

Me: *flabbergasted* “I don’t even have the apron or radio!”

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(Fast Food|Fast Food | Florida)

For whatever reason my bank hasn’t issued chip cards to their debit card holders after everyone else made the switch. It’s no big deal and swiping my card works just fine. It only as the swiping stripe on the back and no chip or even chip like mark on the front and it can be swiped without issue.

In a drive thru I hand the cashier my card and heard the card chip machine beep. I excuse it as a mistake and think the worker is probably in robot mode, will notice the mistake, and just swipe it. I then hear the card chip machine beep a second time and he turns to me.

Cashier: I’m sorry ma’am, your card isn’t being accepted.

Me: It’s not a chip, it’s a swipe.

Cashier: *does a double take at my card, flips it over, and sees the stripe* Oh! I’m very sorry ma’am. *swipes it without issue*

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(I am having a really bad day. I had a huge fight with my partner, had two rejections for jobs I really wanted, I am carrying three really heavy bags of shopping with me, and I am starting to feel a depression bout coming on from all the stress. I go into a popular UK bath product shop to get something nice to cheer me up… just as my mother phones me to talk about my mortgage application. She is trying to be helpful, but it is just the wrong time to talk about money, and I feel really overwhelmed. As I get off the phone, I start to cry.)

Shop Assistant: “Are you okay? Come sit down.”

(I vent to her about all the stuff happening that day, and she sits and listens for about ten minutes.)

Me: “I’m so sorry; you’re at work and I’m keeping you from your job.”

Shop Assistant: “Oh, no, it’s been nice to sit down! Why don’t you put your bags behind the counter, and you can have a browse without being weighed down?”

(I do so, and buy a bath bomb and a face-mask. As I pay:)

Shop Assistant: “[Colleague] says she’ll give you a free arm and hand massage, if you have time?”

(I sat with another assistant for at least fifteen minutes. She was amazing, too; working my pressure points and chatting to me about this and that, until I was smiling. I left the shop feeling much better, at least well enough to get home and relax. Before I did, I bought them both a bag of sweets to say thank you. They really went above and beyond for a random customer!)

The post The Day Was About To (Bath) Bomb appeared first on Funny & True Stories - Not Always Right.

(Library|Library | USA)

(Our public library has recently renovated its basement to include a teen area, complete with a teen librarian (a librarian for teens, not a librarian who is a teen). She’s in her twenties and very open-minded, so she relates well to the teens and a strong group of “regulars” forms quickly. Soon the events with the regulars double as an LGBT and mental health support group. Understandably, all the regulars love her and try to tell her that in their own ways. On this occasion, a group with a few regulars is meeting for an “anti-prom.”)

Librarian: *Goes into conference room to set up snacks and activities*

Regular 1: “NO WAIT DON’T LOOK AT THE WHITEBOARD!”

Librarian: *Startled, holds up hands and looks at Regular 1*

Regular 1: “You can look at it after [Regular 1’s Sister] and I are gone!”

(10 minutes later, after our librarian has finished setting everything up without looking at the whiteboard…)

Regular 1: “You can look at it now if you want.”

(Our librarian turns around to see a wonderful message detailing how amazing and beautiful she is. When she turns back to us, she looks like she’s going to cry.)

Librarian: “You guys! First [Regular 2] makes me that owl,” (small stuffed owl she sewed together,) “and [My Name] said those sweet things to me when I took him home, now this… I’m gonna cry when I get home!”

Me: “Wait, what sweet things?”

Librarian: “You may have blocked it out. It was pretty traumatic.”

(There was a communication issue between my parents and I, so I was getting angry calls from my mom all the way home.)

Me: “I remember telling you how awesome unisex bathrooms and toilets that don’t flush automatically are.”

Librarian: “Well, I’m glad you at least remember the important parts!”

(For the record, I’ve made her an owl of my own for her new apartment, so hopefully we’ll have something we can both remember!)

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(park|park | NC, USA)

(This story is from my uncle’s trip to small local political gathering. He had brought his large 10-month-old dog.)

Kid: Is that a puppy?

Uncle: *points at dog* Her?

Kid: Is that a puppy?

Uncle: Yes, she’s still a puppy.

Kid: DOESN’T LOOK LIKE A PUPPY!

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(High school|High school | Canada)

Conversation overheard in hallway

Kid 1: ya the Switzerland flag is like that so it doesn’t get confused with the Red Cross flag

Another conversation overheard

Kid 2: ya you’re born with common sense

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Me: “Sir, you can’t take drinks into the child’s play area.”

Patron: “Why not?! My table is just through there.”

Me: “Because it is a children’s play area.”

(The man then downed the entire cocktail pitcher and staggered through the play area before I could say another word.)

The post Acting Like A Child appeared first on Funny & True Stories - Not Always Right.

(Lab | Singapore)

(One day, I need to check the room temperature for an experiment, so I find a thermometer in a drawer and leave it lying on the workbench.)

Colleague: “You are not allowed to use that thermometer! Mercury is hazardous!”

Me: “This is a safety thermometer; it has alcohol, not mercury, inside.”

Colleague: “No! It’s mercury! I’m going to tell the safety officer!”

Me: “Mercury isn’t blue!”

(In the end the issue got escalated to our company boss and I had to show documentation from the manufacturer that it was alcohol dyed blue inside. The colleague who started the fight had a Master’s in chemistry.)

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