Author: A.B HashimPublisher: Lejen Press
tim∙id adj    i.   lacking in courage or self-confidence              ii.  lacking in boldness or determination

Beer and cheeseburger are best enjoyed with sands between your feet over sunset. Nothing beats the feeling of filling up your tummy while watching the bright beautiful sun setting down on the horizon. I can say this is the best moment of my life. Luckily, my first book went well. I have a little bit extra money now for booze, rent and some occasional travelling like this one. I’m off from the city for a couple weeks now. The ghosts of my past life are slowly vanishing from my thought except for this one woman named Fay Reid. Back at home, she is getting married to the man of her life. It is now pretty clear who the loser is. But, that’s life. You win some and you lose some. It’s not gonna be easy. Life eats you up inside. It kills you. Kill you in ways you could never ever expected. But, you move on. Luck has it that I still have enough money for booze. That’s the most important thing for me. All I truly wanted was to be able to get drunk whenever I wanted to get drunk. And most of the time, I needed money for it.My tendency to self destruct at time like this is beyond comprehension. But my capability to love was always somehow able to curb that tendency. I can say that my capability to love is boundless. And sometimes, that capability to love is what bringing me down. When you started to fall in love, that’s where all the trouble begins.I figure that all I need to do now is trying to at least forget, if not to fully forgive. That thought led me to this beach. Secluded, away from the city and quiet. Birds fly freely, fishes swim in crystal clear water and fishermen aplenty. Bundle of joy brought home from the sea. There’s life at the sea and there’s also life on the shore. People don’t need much money here. They have love to compensate for that. Love- you could see that everywhere here, love manifests itself in their clothes, their food and their arts. For me fishing itself is a work of art. You need patience. You need perseverance. You need to understand the wind, the wave, the tide and the mighty sea. You need to respect the sea. You need feelings. I don’t have any of those traits. It makes me think that I would never made it in life. Because life itself is a work of art. When it comes to life, I was a loser and a loser still. As a writer, I am struggling in every sense of the word. I met Sean at this very dock on the day I arrive on this island. He took care of everything for me here. He owns a land inherited from his late father and built five chalets on it. I rented the smallest one. Told him that I wanted to stay as long as I could here with my budget and he understands. It was a very basic room. I got myself a double bed, a fan, a desk and a chair. A luxury for someone like me, having a desk and a chair in the room while travelling. The dock came alive in the evening. Women and kids waiting for the men and the fathers back from the sea. Kites flying high like their hopes and expectations. They all hoped for a big catch. But, with such small boats, one can’t bring back much. I stood there watching the men unload the catch from the boat. I walked from the dock up on the hill to the old lighthouse. The birds were flying back to the nest. I was halfway through when I found trouble keeping up with my fitness. Blame it on all the excessive drinking I had done throughout my life. But, that’s the easiest way out of any trouble- drinking. I had finally reach an age where I don’t want any arguments with my inner self. I found it rather useless to question your own doings. Does one really need to justify every single act of his life? I figured all I need to do was to drink more. I saw from where I stood a cafe with a nice patio overlooking the sea and I walked my way down there. It was dinner time but the cafe was rather empty. The waiter showed me my table and handed me the menu.“Not many people come to this side of the island now,” said the waiter.“That’s what I like about this place.”“We need them. We need them for business.”“You have me here tonight. I can spend a lot if I’m well taken care of. Bring me the best scotch, please. Let me look through the menu first for my food.”He brought my scotch and I decided on a fish meal. I had sea bass in butter and garlic with salads on the side. The dinner was scrumptious. I topped it all off with a bottle of wine. I sat there on the patio until the cafe was closed. I admired the reflection of the moon on the water, it makes the sea glows like a giant crystal all in front of me. It pulled me towards the beach.***************************************Novel ini akan mula dijual di  I AM LEJEN SHOP  dan  KL ALTERNATIVE BOOKFEST 2012  pada 23 Jun 2012 dan akan dilancarkan pada 24 Jun jam 2 petang di The Annexe, Central Market.
Ia juga boleh dibeli secara online di KEDAI ONLINE LEJEN .