You spent all that time writing your masterpiece. You're understandably proud of it. And you get the dreaded whisper in your digital ear from a fellow author: "My book was on this piracy site and yours might be too!" You check (mistake number one, you shouldn't even visit these sites) and lo! There it is!

Your baby.

Booknapped.

You feel physically ill and you're not sure what to do.

The last answer you want to hear is... nothing?

ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME SOME BASTARD STOL...