My political views have been very costly to me. At least six relationships withered under the light of my evolving point of view. My dad wouldn’t see me for the final 3 years of his life, until I shouldered my way back in two weeks before he passed.

Obviously, these relationships were already fragile if my opinions about policy could shatter them, but they might never have actually broken without that blow.

A politically conservative relative heard me say that and asked politely how I identify myself. “I’m starting a debate or an argument,” he added politely. “I’m just curious.”

“I’m a progressive,” I answered automatically, but instantly realized that’s not a real answer. “That doesn’t actually tell you what I think,” I told him, “but how I think.”

For me, at least, the word “progressive” indicates that you identify the problem, look at possible solutions, scrutinize available knowledge and research, and pragmatically pursue the best approach for the most people.

If you don’t identify as a progressive, I’m cool with that. If you’re a Democrat, Republican, Libertarian . . . whatever. You still can and should be willing to have your opinions challenged. You should still be able to look at research and vote based on the best likely outcome, instead of voting because you hate a certain candidate or believe certain people shouldn’t do certain things or (have certain problems).

You believe that teens shouldn’t have sex? Okay.

But they ARE having sex, so how about we accept that reality and try to minimize the long-reaching consequences.

You believe that poor people should never have children? Okay.

But they ARE having children, so how about we invest some resources into making sure those children grow up to be productive, sane, emotionally and physically well members of the community.

You absolutely hate that candidate, but all indications are that the other candidate will bring on the demise of modern society as we know it? How about we avoid the whole demise thing by pragmatically voting for the lesser of two evils.

The world is a complicated place full of complicated people who may believe and even need things different from you. You can be all disappointed and sad about it . . . or you can take a good long look at facts and find the best next step. http://ow.ly/i/mcYkq