The Struggles and Rewards of Being Married to Someone in the Military

You can’t choose who to fall in love with, and being away from the one you love for even a moment is difficult. It is a bitter truth that is hard to swallow. To fall in love with someone who you know will be deployed as part of the military is not only heart wrenching, it is incredibly bittersweet. It is a challenging experience that can climax with sweet rewards but only after overcoming the heartbreak and its most excruciating aspect—waiting.

Odysseus and Penelope by Francesco Primaticcio.

If you happen to have a spouse in the military, you have to expect a fair amount of waiting. As a matter of fact, it involves a lot of waiting, and this kind of waiting isn’t easy at all. Being a military spouse is no walk in the park, especially for newlyweds.

 

One of the most famous spouses was Penelope, the Odysseus’s wife who waited for twenty years while her husband fought in the Trojan War and got waylaid on his way home. She was beset with so many problems while he was away: unwanted suitors, taking care of their home, and raising their son. Sound familiar?

 

These are just some of the issues that military spouses go through. Dealing with temptations, the maintenance of their homes, and the responsibility of raising children without a partner is enough to make anyone give up. But there is a certain quality these spouses have, and that is fortitude. These people who wait for their loved ones to come home are the people who dread receiving a phone call with bad news. These are the people who get chills down their spine every time they hear a doorbell ring or a knock on the door, knowing that their spouse is engaged in a deadly confrontation or stationed in a high-risk area. These people have to prepare themselves to explain to their children why mommy or daddy isn’t coming home anymore. These are strong people who know how to keep on living despite the fear. They know that they shouldn’t put their lives on hold because they are waiting. These amazing military spouses know that they have to keep active and stay busy doing positive things in order to allay the worries of waiting.

 

So if you are a newlywed military spouse, take advice from the wives of veterans. Connect with your spouse’s base or command ombudsman to be able to receive reports of your partner’s activity. Make friends with the other spouses and keep busy by connecting with others to help pass the time, because one day the one you love will come back. And that day will be an ever-so-special homecoming day!

 

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