I have a memory. It's my first memory, actually, of sitting on my father's lap, as the whole family huddled around our tiny colour television to watch a show's finale.

It wasn't any show, it was Doctor Who, a very important show, although at the time I didn't know or understand this. All I knew was that some old white haired guy had some altercation with a giant spider (and, being three years old I certainly didn't use the word altercation) and was dying. Everyone was crying, as he seemed to be changing into someone else, someone with more teeth and curls than he had. Which wasn't death, and was instead something rather confusing. And then, the show over, we all got up and went our separate ways. But I wanted to know what happened next, what happened to that crying girl, Sarah Jane, who seemed to know this Doctor fellow so well?

Several months later I learned what happened - he hadn't died, he'd regenerated. And that crying girl? She was going to travel with him still. And although it was the Doctor who the show was named after, it was Sarah Jane Smith that I followed.

Even after the Hand of Fear, and a departure in Aberdeen of all places, you couldn't keep Sarah Jane Smith down. First there was K.9 and Company which, well, let's just say should be left in peace as well. But then there was The Five Doctors, where Sarah was once again reunited with her white haired Doctor. Then there was a long hiatus, bar a trip to Albert Square for a Children In Need special, with sparse radio plays and stories - and then a triumphant return to form and show, the Tenth Doctor's School Reunion.

I was in St Davids when that show aired, I was at a friend's birthday weekend and I remember, mildly drunk, sitting down with fellow Doctor Who fan Craig Andrews and watching it, silent, for the entire show. And, at the end, when the Doctor and Sarah Jane truly said their final farewells, I'm not ashamed to say that there were tears sliding down my face. Because I had seen my companion again, the one I remembered from the very first time, the one I'd loved like a sister.

And then came The Sarah Jane Adventures, and a whole new cast of adventures. Old Sarah Jane was ready for anything, and she became a regular visitor to the Doctor's TARDIS, foiling evil wherever she saw it with her 'son' Luke (really a clone) and his friends. K.9 appeared every now and then and she even had a 'sonic lipstick', still hoping for that last trip in the TARDIS, but happy with the lot that life had dealt her.

And now she's gone. No regeneration, no season ending cliffhanger.

I only ever met Elisabeth Sladen once, at a UK convention almost two years ago. Doctor Who: The Forgotten was out, and I'd been invited as a guest, and she was there for one day only. She'd been doing the photo parade, for those who don't know that's when the guests stand in front of a camera and one by one the fans who have paid for the privilege walk up, have a photo taken and then walk off. It's quite a tough thing to do, as many of the fans don't even give eye contact, but Liz was a trooper and allowed every single one of them her biggest, brightest smile. And, when this was done she asked if anyone else wanted a picture - and, standing at the front was me, Tony Lee, the boy who remembered the girl with the white haired old man. Shyly I raised my hand, no longer a guest, now back to being that fan, that four year old boy and with a smile she waved me next to her.

I still have the photo. I never scanned it, or uploaded it to the Internet. It was too personal, something from my childhood that was too precious to share with just everyone. Every now and then I'll find it, smile and then put it aside. I even considered getting her to sign it, once.

Today, Liz Sladen passed away after a lengthy and quiet battle against cancer. The fact that so many people didn't know that she was even ill is a credit to the dignity that she faced this fierce illness up until the very end. And even though the computer tells me so, that the Internet tells me so, I won't believe that she's dead.

Because Sarah Jane Smith cannot die. The Daleks, Sontarans, Cybermen, Robots of Death, Tricksters, Slitheen - all of these Earth-destroying creatures failed to do this.

So goodnight, Sarah Jane, back with your white haired Doctor, out there in the TARDIS.

Rest In Peace, Liz.

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