It didn’t make sense at first why I had to make a disappearance. Writing is therapy to me and I finally reached my dream of publishing my 1st debut collection.. Of course I am nothing but proud of my accomplishments and to see where I was and where I landed. But I also never paid attention to the real importance of “self care”.

I couldn’t be a hypocrite, advocating self love and self care, when I never TRULY practiced it myself. I won’t lie, it hurts to be away from my writing community and to have to put everything on hold. What’s more frustrating is there really is no time stamp I can put on it. I guess this is my sincere apology for having to cut things short for the time being. I know I shouldn’t have to apologize for taking care of myself but that’s just how I am; I feel it’s warranted.

For those that know me or have read my posts/blogs, you know about my health condition. It’s been a daily fight to stay positive and not let it get me into a deep hole of depression. Anxiety surfaced in my life where it paralyzed me more than my Multiple Sclerosis. Having panic attacks whenever I have to leave my house, having thoughts of dying because my brain won’t stop, not knowing if my legs won’t work the next morning etc.

It’s an emotional rollercoaster to say the least. I’d love to continue to post every SINGLE day like I was but I had to slow down; other factors are involved that I can’t really discuss. But this journey I have been on has opened me up and really exposing my raw wounds. I finally have healthcare insurance after 5 LONG months. I have a lot of testing and treatments that I’ll be undergoing; so it’s made my schedule now busy doing those things.

One frustrating thing I will say is that I hate how normal I may look on the outside. I smile, I wear makeup and I seem like a regular woman. But if I could only explain the pain that’s behind my skin and bones. I can truly express my gratefulness of my parents who are now my caretakers and Jehovah God for holding me down during this time. I feel like I’ve incurred so many losses month after month from no job to no money to no car or being able to drive period.

The list could go on, but I want to at least give you guys a catch up and to know that I truly LOVE and APPRECIATE my faithful followers and supporters during this time and those who have taken the time to check in on me! One day soon I will be back on the radar and coming up with some new things. And even if I’m not posting, anyone is welcome to message me or comment on my post to talk