I have a familiar face, and it makes me a little crazy.

Okay, truth? It makes me a lot crazy.

I’ll meet someone for the first time and they’ll say, “Oh, I’m sure we’ve been introduced before, you look so familiar! Do your kids go to School X?” (Unless they allow dogs, that’s a no.)

“Are you related to Person X?” (Nope.)

“Do you work out at Fitness X?” (My gym is an ultra-exclusive joint in my basement, so no.)

I swear to you, Stranger, we’ve never met, it’s just that I have features that are...