First bit of writing I’ve done in public in a while and it’s at a busy, kid-filled splash pad.  It’s partly cloudy out so I’m actually comfortable sitting outside watching my kids now and that is not a frequent feeling in the middle of July in Texas!

This week has been hard.  Frustrating - over the uphill climb of trying to clean my house, trying to deal with fighting, needy kids, picking up puppy poop and wanting-a-break-from-being-needed hard.  It’s normal stuff.  Menial.  I know.
I know my puppy will eventually potty train and his messes are temporary.  I know.  I know one day it will be easier to keep house.  I know.  And I know that my kids are growing fast and that one day I will miss the chaos and the being needed.  I know.
But sometimes the weight of my responsibilities is heavy and I’m feeling it this week.
Despite my grumpy, feel-sorry-for-myself attitude, I’m able to move forward. Continue with my responsibilities. Take my kids to places like – well, here. The splash pad.  Not because of my own strength but because of the tug of the Holy Spirit who whispers “Pssh – hey. Remember to pray. Remember Whose you are.”
Yeah.  I actually try to ignore that sometimes because I can be really, really dumb.  I’ll pray LATER, I think to myself.  First I’ll self-wallow.
The tug comes again.  No, not later. Now. Stop what you’re doing and pray, right now.
*Sigh* FINE. I’ll pray.  But I’m still overwhelmed and frustrated and overwhelmed and frustrated is where I will stay, dang it!
Reluctantly (this is a bit embarrassing to admit but it’s true, I was reluctant with my prayer) I started a rosary.  Almost stubbornly, like a kid that was avoiding broccoli or something.  But I did it.  I prayed a full rosary because I felt like I was being told to.
And, surprise, surprise – my attitude changed. Nothing about my circumstances did. My house is still in dire need of cleaning. My six kids still need me for big and little things.  There is still work for me, lots of it, in my day.
But today I’m feeling grateful for it.
I’ve been occasionally writing, occasionally watching my kids at this splash pad and you know something? They’re playing really well right now.  Laughing, chasing each other, even holding hands occasionally.  They are being sweet to one another and to some other random children they just met today at this place.  I feel proud of them.  I feel proud to be their mother.
And I didn’t even know I’d get a chance to write a blog post today – this was in no way planned.  But I’m grateful to get an opportunity to share these thoughts.
Thanks, Jesus, for always having my back even when I am completely undeserving.
Until next time . . .