There is an epidemic in this world. I think it started with Bath & Body Works when they came out with Cucumber Melon lotion. Before that, scented products were named things like "Vanilla" and "Raspberry." I remember when Cucumber Melon came out. I thought it was so cool. But did I ever stop to think if I actually wanted to smell like a cucumber? Or a melon?

Since then, companies have really taken the naming of scented products to a whole new level. I'd like to share some of my favorite examples of utter ridiculousness.

Let's start with Febreeze. Febreeze has a scent called Spring & Renewal. That's right. Not just Spring, but also Renewal. Spring alone I can get behind. Spring smells like flowers and rain. But renewal? Since when is renewal a scent? And do I want my fabrics to smell like renewal? I mean honestly. They might as well have named this product Porcelain Dolls & Promises. Because that's just about as absurd.

Next, let's move along to things that smell like angels. I had a lot to choose from in this category, but I narrowed it down to two. Which do you prefer - Sparkling Angel or Angel Whispers?

You're right. Angel Whispers is obviously the winner.

BUT WHAT DOES AN ANGEL WHISPER SMELL LIKE?????

Nobody knows. At least, nobody who doesn't own this particular Glade candle.

Ooh, here's a good one. You know those tree air fresheners that you hang from your rearview mirror? Did you know that they have a whole host of scents? It's not just pine anymore, people. Now, your tree can smell like none other than Passion.

Passion! A pine tree that smells like passion. A passionate pine. Let's just go ahead and rename this one Coors Light & Rebound Man.

Since we're talking about passion, I believe our next product should be this here candle that smells like a Jungle Kiss.

Have y'all been to the jungle? I have. And if anyone were to kiss me whilst in the jungle, I can pretty much guarantee they would smell bug repellent and sweat. So go ahead, buy this candle. If you want your house to smell like bug repellent and sweat, that is.

The next one is an example of being far too specific.

"Hey hon, can you pick up a coconut scented candle for me at the store?"

"Sure sweet cheeks! Was there a specific coconut scent you had in mind?"

"Hmmmm…yeah, I think Serene Coconut Breeze. Be a dear and see if they carry that at Target."

"What if they only have Moderately Intense Coconut Breeze, or Serene Coconut Tornados?"

"Then I'll just take Jungle Kiss."

Although I could probably keep going for many more paragraphs, we have come to our last silly scents. Although I love me a Yankee Candle, I have got to call them out on two scents in particular – Fluffy Towels and Soft Blankets.

These scents present us with a conundrum. Why do fluffy towels and soft blankets smell good? If you use scented fabric softener. And it just so happens that Downy makes a fabric softener that contains none other than Spring & Renewal by Febreeze!

So don't fret, folks. You can make your fluffy towels and soft blankets smell like spring & renewal. Or porcelain dolls & promises.