Greetings,it has been a long time! I know I have been neglecting the blog and my articlesfor quite a while. Honestly, I have been unmotivated and at times quitediscouraged this year. On a positive note, we at Penumbra are working andplugging along despite mass disruption to the corporate world and our industry.I am very grateful that the business has not dried up completely and thatAngela and Steve have been amazing in adapting to the new conditions. But I am alsomourning a few things that I don’t think will ever come back.

Prior to2020 I saw Steve at least every other week and Angela about once a quarter. Wewould meet up in a new city, meet new clients or interact with existing clients,feel the satisfaction of doing a solid day or two of work, enjoy the sights ofthe town we were in, and reward ourselves by eating at the best localrestaurants. It has now been almost two years since I have seen Steve inperson. I have only seen Angela once. I have seen four clients in person in thelast 22 months.

Even though Iam not happier working from home, I was curious how others were feeling aboutit so I recently held a poll on my LinkedIn account where I asked:

“If youstarted working from home last year and still are, how happy are you nowcompared to when you worked in person with colleagues?”

70% saiddefinitely more happy, 11% said definitely less happy, 19% said about the same.This is admittedly a small sample but means that for employers who want tobring back an in-office work team you will likely have an uphill climb in maintainingemployee engagement. And I worry greatly for our collective emotionalintelligence.

Remote workdoes not promote empathy. A cornerstone of empathy requires us to read others.That includes subtle non-verbal signals people send with a gesture, a look, a blush,a smile. Trying to see those things in small video boxes (if video is on atall) is almost impossible. If we are in person but masked up, we also lose somevery key components of communication. Sharing a smile bonds people. Laughing atyourself shows humility. Without the visual clues as to the message behind thewords, language takes on a whole new meaning. This requires you to share more aboutwhat you feel, what your reactions are, and why you have a certain opinion. Itrequires us to ask others about those things too.

But thereality is we aren’t sharing more verbally, we are sharing less. Our firm hasprocessed hundreds of EQi assessments since the end of 2020, and across theboard, Emotional Expression (the constructive expression of emotions) is down.People are doing it less, perceived as too risky. If I share what I really feelyou may get offended or you may feel triggered. I may be seen as notpolitically correct. We have seen too many examples this year of cancel culturegetting people fired from jobs due to unpopular opinions. So we keep our faceshidden and our mouths shut. How can that ever allow us to use EQ or communicatewith efficiency and effectiveness? How do we build high performing teams amonga group of strangers? How do we ever have trust between us?

Employees havealso become hyper-sensitive to conflict. Keep in mind that our amygdala’s havebeen in overdrive for nearly two years. The amygdala is the primitive center ofour brain that is the emotional center of our being. When triggered, it takes overrational thought.

From EmotionalIntelligence by Daniel Goleman (pg 16):

“Incoming signalsfrom the senses let the amygdala scan every experience for trouble. This puts theamygdala in a powerful post in mental life, something like a psychologicalsentinel, challenging every situation, every perception, with but one kind ofquestion in mind, the most primitive: ‘Is this something I hate? That hurts me?Something I fear?’ If so – if the moment at hand somehow draws a ‘yes’ – theamygdala reacts instantaneously, like a neural tripwire, telegraphing a messageof crisis to all parts of the brain. It triggers the secretion of the body’sfight-or-flight hormones, mobilizes the centers for movement, and activates thecardiovascular system, the muscles and the gut. The amygdala’s extensive web ofneural connections allows it, during an emotional emergency, to capture anddrive much of the rest of the brain – including the rational mind.”

In manyways, we have been experiencing a lingering, chronic, intermittent amygdalatrigger. Small things might set us off that otherwise wouldn’t. We mayinterpret harmless comments from others as threats. We may feel that any setbackthat happens to us is the result of someone else’s negligence instead of simplybad luck or something that is the result of our own actions. We may feel like avictim.

Most employeesworking a desk job have also shared the stress of having a non-stop stream ofmeetings. We have known for years that sitting all day looking at a computer screenis terribly unhealthy. Moving around, getting exercise, and giving yourself breaksbetween calls are all things that you can do to help yourself and your mentalwellbeing. Instead of another Zoom call, consider a phone call while you areout taking a walk. Make time for non-agenda’d communication. Turn your emailsoff on your phone in the evenings. Turn off audio alerts on your computer. Losethe laptop.  

Brene Brownis a wonderful author and her work has been on my mind a lot this year. She talksabout the role of shame and the power it has over our behavior. There has beenplenty of shame used this year in a variety of settings for a variety ofreasons. She also talks about the “vulnerability armory” which is our defensemechanism against hurt and disappointment. Interestingly, in Daring Greatly sheshares a participant experience in which they felt the most vulnerable and manyused examples of sharing joy. She expected fear and shame, but not joy.

As oneperson put it, “It’s easier to live disappointed than it is to feeldisappointed. It feels more vulnerable to dip in and out of disappointment thanjust to set up camp there. You sacrifice joy, but you suffer less pain.”  

It feelslike that this year. People have opted for the safe, the comfortable, the leastrisky choices and sadly, sacrificing some really positive parts of life for it.Both Facebook and Microsoft have introduced the concept of the Metaverse this year.The idea will be a virtual universe that will allow us to go to work and attendmeetings as avatars. Has real life gotten so painful or difficult that we mustretreat into a fake world?

One of thedeepest concerns I have from this year is the swift willingness some in the privatesector have had to implement policies of overt employee discrimination. Theseare organizations that prior to 2021 seemed to me to have the highestcommitment to diversity and inclusion who I would have expected to fight vigorouslyagainst any type of disparate treatment of employees regardless ofthe reason. Well intended or not, the net result is an endorsement of terminatingemployees based on their medical status. It leads me to question if discriminationin the workplace based on any factor is justified? And if it is, whodecides what the criteria is? How do we protect employees from “mandate creep”and how do we prevent institutions from segregating and separating employees underthe pretext of the greater good? There are not many examples from history in whichthose practices end well.

In 2022, I wishyou good physical and mental health. I wish you love and joy, but I also wishyou pain and disappointment, because it means you are fully living your reallife. I wish you self-awareness and empathy and feeling human connections withco-workers. I wish you awareness and uncensored information to make the bestdecisions for you and your family. I wish you a workplace free fromdiscrimination. And lastly (and I really mean this) I hope we have an opportunityto see each other in person. You can check out my new grey hair!