It's nice to make your acquaintance.  I'm a rich man with an outstanding aesthetic sense.  Also, I'm quite old and have overseen many Faustian bargains.  In fact, I'm so old that I was present when the Savior wondered whether God had given up on him, and I made sure that the governor of Judaea gave him the death sentence.


    In 1917, I was in Petrograd and I could tell a revolution was necessary, so I murdered Tsar Nicholas II and his Cabinet.  His daughter, the Grand Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna, cried out, but to no avail.  About 25 years later, I was a high-ranking military officer riding in an armored vehicle while the German army staged massive attacks on European cities.  There was a strong odor of putrefaction.


    I very much enjoyed a series of armed conflicts between the kingdoms of England and France during the Late Middle Ages over disputed claims to the French throne.  I outspokenly inquired who was responsible for the assassinations of John F. Kennedy and Robert F. Kennedy although, let's face it, it was really everybody's fault.  And then I ensnared itinerant poets who were put to death before they arrived in Mumbai.


    With the ostensibly paradoxical thought that all law enforcement officials are in fact lawbreakers, and those who transgress divine law are worthy of being canonized by the Church, and the obverse of a coin is the same as the reverse, you may refer to me as Lucifer because I require some curtailment.


    That said, if we should cross paths, exercise good manners, and show compassion and aesthetic discernment.  In summary, be nice to me or I will kill you.