My friend Debbi – she’s pretty great in general, but there’s a few gifts she’s given me over the years that are shining stars of enrichment in my life and one of them is the phrase “Don’t panic early” usually followed by “I’ll tell you when to panic.” Well, I haven’t exactly explained my circumstances to Debbi, but for a few days I’ve had this sneaking suspicion that if I did, she wouldn’t tell me not to panic. I think she’d raise a single eyebrow, then whip out a notebook for planning purposes and say “Ok. Let’s panic as constructively as possible.”

That’s what I’m going to try and do – panic really constructively. This year is the Bike Rally’s 25th Anniversary, a big milestone for the scrappy little fundraiser that’s grown to be the sustaining fundraiser for the whole of PWA – an amazing accomplishment considering that it was started by a couple of people with bikes and a barbecue that they moved around on a pickup. In my head, this year wasn’t just the anniversary, it was also the year that it was all going to come together. The last few years have been full of compromises and people doing their best and rising above, and I felt like this year it was more important that ever to get out there. Without being an epic downer- it’s been a really crappy year for the people who are most vulnerable. At a time when it can feel like many human rights are moving backwards, it seemed like a great time to go as boldly forward as we can, and the Rally is such an amazing metaphor for that.

So, I was excited, and Team Knit set a big fundraising goal, and then… well then things started to go a little bit wrong. First, heartbreak those of you who’re Team Pato, he’s had surgery – Don’t panic, he’s going to be just fine, but Team Knit will be down a member for this year.

Then I had a torn biceps tendon (it’s better now, thanks) and I kept saying that I was going to get out there and train and I did, but definitely not as much as I should have. When that was healed enough to ride I gave myself a stern talking to, and then the wildfires happened and the air quality wasn’t something you could train in. I got out there on a few days that the air was good enough, but it wasn’t enough training – and not only that, it wasn’t enough fundraising. I struggled with Ken being far away – usually we train together quite a bit, and I lay awake the night before I was going to fly to Port Ludlow for the Strung Along Retreat and I thought about it being so close to the Rally – and I went over the whole thing top to bottom in my mind. I kept telling myself it was going to be okay, but was it? We’re short a rider, none of us have met our fundraising goals, and the Ride is just weeks away – is that okay? The answer was a firm maybe, if I got my scene together. The next day I flew to work, planned a post like this one, and the day after was my 55th Birthday. I ran 5.5km on the hotel treadmill to celebrate and to try and keep a bit of training going on. I told myself that if I ran every other day while I was away, and then got into the big training rides right away when I returned I’d be okay – it would be a bit of a stretch, but it would be okay, and I’d get on the fundraising too – it’s hard to fund raise when you’re not riding, but I would be riding so … okay. It was going to be okay.

Saturday morning I was sicker than I’ve ever been. After three years of dodging the thing like a ninja, I finally had covid. I spent the whole retreat with a raging fever and wicked cough, feeling absolutely horrible about not being able to teach. I still had my fingers crossed for the Rally though. Most vaccinated people are only sick for a few days, right? Wrong. Not this one. I was too sick to go home for more than a week, and when I got home it was another week in bed, and even now I’m just recovered enough to look in the general direction of my bike. In 31 days the Rally starts and I’m supposed to be one of a few hundred people who will ride their bikes 660km from Toronto to Montreal, and this morning I’m aiming to ride for 50km which is way, way, way too short, but possibly way longer than I can manage. I’ll pop back tomorrow and tell you if I live. In the meantime, while I’m out there trying to train, I know Cam and Ken have their fingers crossed for me, and all of us would love some help making our goals for this year.

This year’s Team Knit is:

Cameron

Ken

Me

I’m thanking you in advance for anything you’re able to do to make this possible. I’m worried about the riding but really it’s the fundraising that changes people’s lives and makes the ride worth it. If you’re able, please give generously.

I’ve also decided on a return to Karmic Balancing Gifts -they’re a lot of work, to be sure, but I feel like with time so short I need to pull out all the stops. If you donate to anyone on our little family team and you’d like to be in the offing for a gift, then please send me an email letting me know you’ve done so. I’ll choose names at random.

Make the subject line “I helped” and send it to stephanieATyarnharlotDOTca. (Note the .ca it’s a Canada thing.) Include your name, address, and whether or not you spin.  (For the love of all things woolly, please use the subject line. It makes your email go to a specific folder and you have no idea what a difference that makes to my sanity.) You don’t need to say what you gave, or include proof. I know you’ll do your best, whatever that is, and I know you wouldn’t lie. (If you’ve already given this year, obviously you should send an email.)

Now, we know not everyone has money to help with – so we’re taking all kinds of help.  If you can figure out some other way to do that, that counts.  Maybe you can tell a friend. Maybe you can post about it to social media. Maybe you can forward the email to people in your family who will give…  There’s lots and lots of ways to help, and if you can figure out a way? Send that email, letting me know you did. No money needed. (Of course, money is always good too, and even the smallest gifts make a big difference.)

*If you want to contribute a gift, I’m trying to make it easier -I have a better shot at getting it all done if you do this: Take a picture of your gift. Email me with the subject line “Karmic Balancing” with the details, picture and a link, if you want me to use one. When one of the helpers is chosen for a gift, I’ll email you the address, and you can ship it right to them. (It’s not a bad idea to let me know if you have shipping restrictions –  I’ll keep track.) I’ll try to get through them all, though it can be overwhelming. Thank you!

I’m off to panic as constructively as possible.