Ever since I began writing, I’ve felt it was in God’s will, and that it was a way to witness to people, especially when we were in Austria and I couldn’t promote in person due to the books being in the wrong language.

Once back home, I wrote Lamplight to Sunlight as it was a subject that fascinated me, and was a good way to get seen as a local author. In the past year, I’ve met some fabulous people, made great new friends.  In the autumn I’ll be in a writers’ group and that had been a long held dream.

I’ve done Brecon show, and sales were disappointing. I’ve two book markets planned and an event at the local museum. I’m putting Lamplight to Sunlight out as a children’s book too. The books are still in a top 100 bestsellers. I’ve noticed that my Facebook group, Horse Books for Grown Ups has been very quiet this month.

Nothing, nothing had prepared me for my Amazon sales report this month. Zilch, not even enough for a large bar of chocolate. I’m not someone who looks frantically at my sales, but even so. Is it something to do with new category systems? I could go and throw money at marketing sites, but will I even make up for what they cost? I’ve got a load of stock paperbacks I must sell.

Is God now telling me its time to stop? We were  gifted with some one off extra pension money, which will help for a while, but I won’t be contributing anything to the household income from my books. I can do some promos, I’ll certainly put the memoirs out in a cheaper or free edition. I’m a third of the way through a purely Christian novel, which I need to write out of my head onto paper.

If I don’t write, what do I do? I need the mental discipline of writing and creating books to stop me being more woolly headed that usual. Has God got something new for me? I won’t get a UK pension for another two and a half years. Back to work after Christmas maybe, I wouldn’t mind working in a shop.

But just now, I’m broken.