Sunday, April 7, 2024

After the terrific party on Saturday, Sunday took on acompletely different tone.

We all got up and attended the church service. Silvia,Toshi, and Kim were warmly welcomed. Many of those in attendance had been atthe party the day before and were still in a celebratory mood.

We returned a couple of hours later for a much more solemnoccasion.

The time had come to celebrate the life of our Japanesedaughter, and Toshi’s wife, Kae.

Unfortunately, some of the people who knew her were unableto attend, but quite a few of the church people and some of the folks who werepart of our writing group came. (Kae and Toshi had sat in on our meetingsseveral times when they were here visiting.) As always, the most importantpeople were there.

Rev. Bob Schwenck facilitated the service since PastorLeanne Strommen was out of town. This seemed appropriate since Bob not onlyknew Kae and Toshi from their frequent visits, but he conducted their weddingin the same church in 2003.

He threw Kim a curve ball by asking her to read the 23rdPsalm. (He was supposed to read it, but he thought it would mean more if Kimread it. I had asked the family if they wished to speak several days earlier.Larry said he wouldn’t be able to get through it. So did Kim and Toshi.)

Kim got through it but with lots of emotion. Kae was herdear sister, and they were close.

I had known I wanted to tell everyone what Kae had meant tome and to our family. I’d spent many sleepless nights during the previous monthtrying to edit all the things I’d wanted to say about this precious member ofour family. I finally decided just to speak spontaneously.

I told about how I had only given birth to one child but howwe had acquired quite a few others through the years. The first foreign studentin our home was with us that morning. Silvia had arrived the week after wemoved into our new home in Dana Point in 1987. She was followed by Yuka,Yasuko, Yuko, Fumiko, Yoshiko, and another Fumiko. Our last one came in thespring of 1998. Kim hosted a student, Ikue, and her neighbors, the McKinneys,hosted another, Kae. Because they lived so close, the three girls spent a lotof time together—much of it at our house. (I always said we got three for theprice of one with this group!)

My mother provided quite a bit of their transportation sinceLarry and I and Kim were all working at the time. She fell in love with allthree of them. She couldn’t remember their Japanese names, so she referred tothem by their characteristics. Ikue was “the little one” since she was shortlike Kim. Fumiko was “the funny one” since she had a great sense of humor andloved to laugh. Kae was “the pretty one.”

1998 California – Kae, Lorna,Ikue, Fumiko

Later that summer, we moved to Osaka, Japan to build theUniversal Studios Japan theme park. During our stay, we saw all but one of “ourkids.” We saw Kae and her then-boyfriend the most often as they visited usabout once a month.

When we returned, Toshi worked for a company which requiredhim to make trips to the US. Whenever he came, he tried to extend his trips tospend time with us. He sometimes brought Kae with him.

Even though they were legally married in Japan, they wantedtheir wedding in California. So in 2003, they were married in our church.

Wedding 2023

They continued to visit us whenever they could, and our homein Dana Point became their second home.

On our anniversary in 2010, the phone rang at 3:00 a.m.Toshi was calling from the hospital. Kae had collapsed and was not expected tosurvive. All we could do from the distance was promise to pray for her. And weasked the church prayer chain to join us. Despite the “less than 5% chance” herneurosurgeon gave her of surviving, she not only recovered by thrived. And she(and he) credited all the prayers for the miracle.

A couple of years later, she became a Cordon Bleu chef. Thenext time she visited, she prepared a beautiful four-course meal for us and ourfriends.

Chef Kae

In April of 2022, she was supposed to start a class toward completingher master’s degree. Instead, she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer andentered the hospital.

By June, Toshi began talking about bringing her home toCalifornia one last time. However, her doctor would not clear her to fly untilOctober. As she entered our house, she smiled at me. “Mom, I’m home.” And forher, this was the place she considered “home” more than anywhere else.

On December 20th, Toshi texted me that she hadlost consciousness. A few hours later, He called Larry. “She’s gone.”

I suggested perhaps he could bring her ashes here and spreadthem at Dana Point. He told me he had a note in her writing making thisrequest.

And this was the day.

Even though Toshi had initially said he couldn’t speak, hechanged his mind. His words were articulate and heartfelt as he described thisbeautiful soul.

Then Rev. Bob read a scripture and a poem he had written forher.

We then showed the memorial video about Kae. https://youtu.be/RJw-NYz3dBU

Following the service, we gathered at our home for a smallreception. Then we proceeded to the marina to board a catamaran to take us outto sea so we could spread her ashes.

Larry had reserved the small catamaran, and fourteen of uswent out beyond the breakwater just before sunset. Just as he had for my motherand my brother, Larry released her ashes into the ocean.

I had taken a basket of roses to the church for the service,and we tossed them into the water. https://youtu.be/lUBfjQ-eSYk

Larry’s brother and sister-in-love, Casey and Lucy, couldnot join us, but the rest of us went to dinner at the Wind and Sea in theMarina. We had kept our promise to Kae.

 

The Rest of the Week

On Monday, we spent time with all three of our kids.

Silvia, Toshi, Lorna, Larry, Kim onour front steps

We delivered Toshi to the airport for his 7:30 a.m. flighton Tuesday morning, after which, Silvia, Kim, and we went to breakfast at Mollie’sin San Juan Capistrano (Kim’s favorite breakfast pace).

Then we went down to the Outlets in San Clemente, where Kim and Silvia bought a few gifts to take home with them.

We ate an early dinner at Harpoon Henry's and then went to the point to take a photo.

Silvia, Lorna, Larry, Kim at DanaPoint

Silvia was supposed to have left on Wednesday, but there wasa mix-up about her flight time. She was supposed to fly to Hong Kong for acouple of days to visit a friend. However, it worked out okay since her friendwas ill. Silvia’s travel agent was able to book her on a different flightleaving on Thursday afternoon.

We were able to spend a little more time with her and enjoyedit. Then, on Thursday, we drove her down to LAX with plenty of time before herflight.

Since we had all day Friday to spend with Kim, we got her aticket to Disneyland and spent the day with her there. We all enjoyed bothparks, as always.

Saturday was her day to do laundry and repack for her triphome to Texas. She had a 7:45 a.m. flight out of John Wayne, so we got herthere by six. She had an uneventful trip.

The house seemed quite empty when we returned. We hadthoroughly enjoyed having all three of the kids with us. After the very busyweek before, we were determined to rest and relax for a couple of days.