So this book has kind of built itself a reputation as a rite of passage among the Splatter Punk reader community. I don’t see it typically recommended to normies and that’s understandable. Based on the title and synopsis alone one could assume it would be difficult to stomach the traditional level of gore/gross when it’s directed at kids. This isn’t quite the case with The Groomer.

This is a book written by someone who loves kids and I don’t mean in the way that many of the characters in the book “love” kids. I’m sure many of us SP readers have received the revolted look of a normie asking, “Why the hell would you read that?” And guys, that’s so fair. Next time someone asks me that question I’ll point to this book. Beneath the window-dressing of extreme gunk, violence and ooze there’s a deeply emotional, cautionary tale about parental impotence and the way we fail kids as a society.

What I Loved

Despite being a story about the horrific things that can happen to kids at the hands of pedophiles, most of the book’s violence is not directed at kids. Athan expertly teases (for lack of a better word) the reader at the beginning with an intense scene featuring a kidnapped child. While I did not enjoy the child’s suffering it did draw me into the book so that I needed to find out if the evil motherfucker ever got what was coming to him. The other moments of child-centered trauma are sparse and/or spoken about by characters after the fact which is a little easier on the psyche.

The story centers on a father’s quest to find his daughter and is almost gently accusatory to parents reading it. Did I know prior to reading this book that awful people exist and are capable of doing horrific things to children? I did. But I’m telling ya there’s something very much more in your face about reading a sicko’s hurtcore fantasy come to life. Athan is screaming at me from every page, “We are not. doing. enough!” And – he’s right. Down to the specific differentiation between a parent’s and a child’s definition of a stranger, this book forces you to question how well YOU, the reader, are protecting your kids.

Confronting your preconceived ideas about what a child abuser looks like can only be a benefit, I think. Think they’re technologically backward? They’re more advanced than you. Think they’re each some old, overweight dude with a mustache? They come in every make and model. Think they do all their nasty deeds in the private, darkness of their home? They are bold enough to work in broad daylight. Think they work alone? They have complex networks dedicated to their obsession.

The last thing I’ll say on this is while I obviously don’t condone vigilante violence against anyone I’d be lying if I didn’t say that reading about these types of men getting their comeuppance in this particular way…heh, that’s pretty darn satisfying.

What Didn’t Work for Me

I’ll be honest, I waffled between giving this three or four stars. There were a couple minor things throughout, but to be honest those didn’t really impact my thoughts on the book as a whole. I suppose I only have two major complaints regarding the book’s ending which didn’t deter me in the slightest from enjoying it.

First is the fact that I really want to sit with our protagonist at the end and feel his feelings with him and it felt a little rushed. We had come all this way together and I needed a longer pause with him, I think, to really feel the experience. Can’t go into much more detail than that without spoilers.

The second is also related to the ending of the book during a scene in which Andrew makes a few choices back to back that I do not understand. Again, without spoilers it’s tough to get more in depth on that. I’ll say that it took me out of the story momentarily thinking, “Hold on, wait, how did we get here?”

So after thinking about it and starting to write this review I concluded that neither of those impacted the overall experience of enjoying the book for me so I’m still giving it a 4/5 stars. And I’m in two minds about who exactly should read this book. A part of me feels like this is one step up from beginner-level SP in terms of gore/violence and maybe shouldn’t be read by a newbie until they have a few other SP titles under their belt. On the other hand, I feel like every single parent who loves their child should read this book.

Now excuse me while I take deep dive into my kid’s Roblox account…