Photo credit: reddit user KKthebookworm

Sometimes when I travel by the Metro in Bengaluru, a few memories of bus travel during my college days come as vivid flashbacks – particularly the way people rush to reserve the seat and enter into the coach. There is an art to it and I am as unskilled in this art now, as I was then. I was never able to get a seat back then. And now also when it is a case of too many people chasing too few seats, I usually lose out.

My hometown to my college town is about 80 kms. Those days, I mean in the 80s, buses were few and far between. If there was a strike by the private bus operators (these strikes were frequent and came without much prior notice), the only option was to squeeze yourself somehow into one of those government buses. Of course rooftop travel was the rule rather than the exception.

Then there were certain conventions, like reserving a seat by throwing a handkerchief, or a bag or any personal possession through a window when the bus arrived. Some even pushed their children through the windows. The situation was chaotic. There was no queue system or any advance booking system. At least in the case of the metro, people do form a queue and wait patiently for the the train. But the queue lasts till the arrival of the train and once the train arrives nobody bothers about the queue or entering the coach in a disciplined manner. The situation is as chaotic as our bus stands during my college days.

For we the Indians, some habits die hard.

I remember one particular journey. It was a strike day. When I went to the bus stand with the hope of catching the state corporation bus, rumour was that even these buses were off the roads. Some believed the rumour and left the bus stand. I lingered around for some time not knowing what to do because it was the last day before our hostel closed for the Dussehra holidays.

It was a pleasant surprise to spot a state corporation bus with the a name board of my hometown entering the bus stand. This time it was a case where there were not enough passengers to occupy all the seats. I thanked my luck for getting a seat. It was 11 AM. But the bus would not leave until it was 12. By this time the bus was crowded as people had come to know that the rumour was not true.

The bus stopped every four to five kilometers to load and offload passengers. The route to our home town was dotted with densely populated small towns and villages. If a passenger or a potential passenger asked or signaled it to stop, it had to stop. So the eighty kilometers distance to our home town usually took four to five hours by bus. After sometime, you when the bus became too crowded with people and luggage, you felt you have also become a piece of luggage.

Quarter way through, there were people on rooftops. This old bus was already in a dilapidated condition and we prayed that if at all the roof collapsed let it not happen before we reached our destination. Another problem was that the rooftops provide protection only from sun, not from rain. So most of us had an umbrella for such eventuality. Sitting inside the bus, even though it was overcrowded somehow we managed to open our umbrellas. However the real problem was when it was not raining. If any rooftop passenger felt too lazy to climb down and urinate on the road side, we would not even be forewarned to use our umbrellas.

Those days every bus had three staff members. The driver, the conductor and the cleaner. I think the cleaner has already become an extinct species in many parts of India.

As the word suggest the cleaner was supposed to clean the bus. So those not familiar with his entire job description may think that why the hell should he be part of the journey and why each bus should have a separate cleaner. Because a cleaner could simply be stationed in the bus depot and clean multiple buses in a day. But as per his job description he should open and close the door, decide when the bus should stop and start and signal the driver accordingly. The cleaner was also an expert in guiding the driver when it needed to go reverse or when some difficult maneuvers were required along a dangerous patch of the road. Thus, being a crew member, he exercised concurrent jurisdiction along with the driver over the fate of the passengers.

To confess, I have never seen such a cleaner ever cleaning any vehicle. He was also the back up driver even though he did not have a license to drive. While the duty of the driver was of course to drive the vehicle, the duty of the conductor was to collect the fare and doze off and snore for the remaining part of the journey.

Half way through our journey there was a fight between the cleaner and the conductor. The cleaner gave the ultimatum that he would no more continue with the journey. While the driver along with a few passengers begged the cleaner to withdraw the ultimatum, the conductor opposed it. He told the driver to continue the journey without the cleaner and said that he himself would don the mantle of the cleaner even though it was not befitting his status.

At that time the sky was also threatening to rain at any time. So we were all in a hurry and begged the crew to temporarily pause fighting and continue the journey. Another problem was that – we the passengers did not know what they were fighting about. The rumor was that there were some disputes about sharing of the booty. But there was no way you to confirm it.

After much persuasion the cleaner agreed to resume his duty. Some people knew that the conductor was a drunkard and did not mind having a peg or two even while on duty. There was a country liquor shop nearby. Someone took the conductor and the cleaner both to the shop. After emerging they were seen to be in jovial and friendly mood. The mediator who had brought about this reconciliation confirmed that the fight was about sharing of the booty.

So after the cleaner and the conductor had been appropriately propitiated, the bus resumed its journey. The cleaner shouted and signaled in a jovial mood. The conductor went to his seat and snored happily.

But it seems we had forgotten to propitiate the rain god. After sometime it rained. It was also windy.

(to be continued)