Before the world ended as we knowit in 2020, my world as I knew it ended in 2019. It’s been six years since myMother passed away and it still feels like yesterday. I think about her often,I talk and write to her often, I ask for advice and for her to guide me throughmy intuition in some way, and you’d be surprised how often my gut reaction ison the money.

That’s because when I say myworld ended, I’m not saying it in a tragic sense, even though it’s obviouslysad that I don’t have Mom on this plane to talk to. It was a personal paradigm shift where I found myself without grandparents or parents and it was odd. It’s notlike I shed a skin, though it was transformative. It has to be, simply because you have tocome to terms with the fact that those calls in the morning, lunch, and in theevening would become monologues and that responses would come in signs,feelings, and all manner of random things where Mom keeps popping up and sayinghi. 

 

Today is also Father’s Day, andyesterday I was lucky enough to spend time with both my brothers and two of mycousins to celebrate in family. So it was natural for me to also think about Dad. My middle brother showeda picture where he had grown a magnificent mustache and looked like a green-eyedvariant of Dad. 

Dad, Mom, and my bro.

So it’s a day with a lot of mixed emotions, though I can’t saysadness. Longing for a chat? Yes. But not melancholy. It’s not that it doesn’thappen and doesn’t come along, it’s that today I don’t feel melancholy. Itprobably has to do with everything that’s going on in the world and thingsbeing so heavy that thinking about my parents doesn’t weigh a ton today. It’sbeen six years without Mom, and twenty-two without Dad. And it’s weird, becauseI also remember that when he passed away it was also an end of the world moment. One that brought a lot of life lessons, though so has the hindsight I’ve experiencedin two decades without him. 

 

I think that as we get older,chunks of the world or versions of our world fade away, evolve, shift, fall,break, or transition. I think it depends on the life event, the person, and thecircumstances, though it still becomes a different world. One day you have a parent,the next you have a memory but you still carry that love, though by nature, itis forced to change and evolve. And it’s not a bad thing, it’s just life. 

 

While thinking about this, Ithink about my home spot where I surf and how it shifts with tides, swells, storms, erosion,and all manner of things. There are some core things that shall always be there,like certain parts of the reef. Sure, many things in the environment change,but those pieces of reef do not. 

 

 

No matter how big the waves come... 

 

No matter howviolent the storms... 

 

No matter how much or how little the sands shift...

 

That chunk of reef is a constant and I think back to when I was a kid and I realize how many things I keep alive and maintain to this day, all pieces of my reef. And I realize that constants help remind us of whowe are, regardless of what the world brings, and how many of those worlds end. 

 

So on this Father’s Day thatcoincides with Mom’s anniversary, I raise a glass to both Mom and Dad. I livein a different world than when you were here, though my reef remains, as does the love for you, which shall always be there. 

 

Cheers Mama Estrada, Cheers Papa Carlos, and to you kind reader... 

 

Peace, love, and maki rolls.

 

 

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