((YOU ALL OWE ME BIG TIME! You should have seen the waffle Peachy was going to write. In the middle of the night whilst she was sleeping and dreaming of dismembering people in her thriller series, I set to and deleted her blog and changed it to bullet points. You’re welcome. I take payment through Peachy’s buymeacoffee fund which I’ve hacked and changed the password for. I’m saving up to create my own stationery business as Peachy keeps promising to do stuff and never gets around to it – you know what she’s like!))

((Grab yourself a few shots, neck them… now start skim reading… actually, this is probably the funniest blog to date…))

Peachy had her book launch in Jersey and people felt sorry for her so bought some copies of her latest mystery novel One Step Ahead which is set in Jersey if you didn’t know. If you don’t know it’s probably because you’ve been sensible enough to mute her on social media. If you’re still following her you need to seriously rethink your life choices. Don’t be fooled about the ‘it’s all about the location’. It’s just an excuse to go on holiday.She turned fifty. Who cares. Although after hacking her laptop I have been ensuring a zimmer frame image wanders across her screen when she is trying to work. Endless hours of entertainment.She won a short story competition by waffling about something she did years ago on the boat. Boring. She is going to be insufferable now. ‘ohhh. I won a competition’ How the judges picked Peachy’s I don’t know. They probably had heat stroke.They are still cruising the boat up the Kennet and Avon. Whatever, so are loads of other people. Somehow she’s found time to keep putting out vlogs. Was that a cheer from the back? Didn’t think so. Watch it if you’re struggling to fall to sleep. ‘oh look, here is another lock…’ like we have seen thousands already. Chuck yourself in and create some seriously good content.What else, I’m getting bored myself. Oh yes, Peachy has a book launch for that Jersey book again at Newark Book Festival on Sunday 13th July 12.30-1.30pm at the Tudor Hall, National Civil War Centre. You need to book in advance as for some reason Peachy thinks lots of people will want to come. Although I would totally go along just to heckle her from the back. Email her if you literally have nothing else to do and fancy having a laugh.

Link to the buymeacoffee – don’t forget all proceeds come to me. SHHHHH this is between us! #don’ttellPeachy

Struggling to sleep… Read One Step Ahead here or watch her vlogs YouTube Channel

((My work here is done. Out.))