Frantic Chasing: The Tunnel Vision Trap

“We are trapped in the myth that effort will always be rewarded. Sometimes, effort is just resistance.” — Anne Wilson Schaef.

Do you often feel you’re doing everything right but still feel stuck? You work hard, push constantly, and chase success relentlessly, yet the needle just won’t move. As Anne Wilson Schaef said in the opening quote, “We are trapped in the myth that effort will always be rewarded. Sometimes, effort is just resistance.” What if I told you the solution isn’t to push harder, but to choose differently? In the coming paragraphs, you’ll discover the power of calm choosing and the quiet inner certainty that shifts your reality not through control or struggle, but through cooperation and co-creation with life.

Chasing struggle means pushing from a place of fear and urgency. It’s like running a race with no finishing line in sight, driven by a survival mode of thinking. It may be rooted in a trauma-based response based on early childhood. It becomes wired into our nervous system to strive and work harder to get ahead. But this type of mindset reflects a sense of lack, desperation, and avoidance. It can lead to clouded thinking, reactive decision-making, and eventually burnout.

Calm Choosing: Strategic Alignment

“Effort is only effort when it’s forced. When it’s aligned, it becomes ease.” — Vironika Tugaleva.

But choosing calmly doesn’t mean giving up or complacent resignation. Instead, it is an internal decision that arises from the belief: “this direction is mine” without needing to panic. It’s like giving yourself quiet permission to trust your path and being emotionally grounded. This type of thinking aligns with choosing an outcome rather than fearing it may not happen.

Is this an idea that appeals to you?

Have you ever made decisions from a place of calm trust instead of panic?

What happened when you responded from a state of inner peace rather than fear?

Keep those moments in mind as we delve deeper into the topic.

A striving mindset creates tunnel vision and fear-based action, whereas calm choosing increases our emotional regulation and clarity. In other words, when we are relaxed, we notice opportunities sooner and make better decisions rather than responding out of fear, panic, or uncertainty. Similarly, calm internal alignment leads to explicit external action because it signals to our nervous system that we are safe and not stuck in a trauma or stress-based response. This is the underlying principle espoused by the American psychologist Stephen Porges in Polyvagal theory. In other words, when you’re calm, your nervous system interprets this to mean it’s safe to grow and thrive.

Trying to force outcomes is like trying to force a puzzle piece into the wrong spot. Even if it fits tightly, that doesn’t mean it belongs there. Namely, we are trying to impose our sense of control over reality rather than operating from a place of calm certainty. Being in alignment signifies cooperation with life and a commitment to remaining responsive rather than reactive. If we were to compare it, forcing situations are rooted in the belief: “If I don’t push, nothing will happen.” In contrast, being in alignment holds the belief: “If I choose clearly, I can flow steadily forward.” Can you see the difference between these two types of thinking? Do you know people who think either way? If so, compare how their lives unfold.

3 Ways to Shift from Struggle to Strategic Calm

“You do not write your life with words… You write it with actions. What you think is not important. It is only important what you do.” — Patrick Ness.

Let’s consider practical shifts to move from chasing to choosing. Firstly, we can recognize when we are in a state of panic or fear. I’ve noticed this in my own life when I’m trying to push hard for something to happen, such as a business deal or a key meeting. I feel tension in my body, and it is a cue to pause and reset.

Secondly, we can learn to reduce the emotional tension throughout our bodies. This means taking deep breaths and practicing grounding exercises, such as:

Feeling your feet: Notice the sensation of making contact with the groundEngage your senses: Mindfully touch nearby objects and notice their textureBreathing deeply: Slow your breath to calm your nervous system

This helps us shift from an anxiety-based response to calmness. We learn to groove new neural patterns in our minds and bodies to move us away from a stress-based reaction. We can then make a calm internal decision, such as “I choose progress in this direction,” rather than operating from a fear of missing out.

Lastly, we can remain open to adjustments along the way rather than imposing fixed expectations. Essentially, we are talking about developing a Growth mindset rather than a Fixed mindset, as espoused by the Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck.

So, by way of example, consider a person who chases success through panic by job-hopping and endless hustling. Do you know people like this? They seem wired and panicked, and feel that if they dropped the ball, things would implode. In contrast, another person chooses outcomes calmly by building the necessary skills, whether through intentional networking, and remains open to timing rather than forcing situations.

Here, we are talking about how psychological calm can lead to strategic action and resilience. A stress-based state triggers tunnel vision, making us powerless to perceive or act on opportunities beyond our immediate circumstances. In contrast, when we are calm, we see opportunities more easily and become more receptive to them.

We began this article by observing the cycle of desperate chasing and the feeling of constantly pushing yet remaining stuck. There’s a better way through calm choosing. This is the art of being intentional, where you calm your inner state so you can see and seize opportunities with ease. Remember, your power is not in the struggle, it’s in the steady choices you make. So, I invite you to take a moment and consider: Are you forcing a life you want, or are you choosing to align with it? This week, instead of exhausting yourself trying to control circumstances, practice replacing force with grounded selection. Stop chasing the needle and start choosing your path. It’s time to discover how wonderfully your life can change when you finally decide to let go of the struggle.

The post Why Your Life Changes When You Choose Calmly Instead of Chase Struggle appeared first on Tony Fahkry.