In our series on leadership attributes, we now look at kindness. All Christians should demonstrate kindness as it is a fruit of the Spirit. In Galatians 5:22-23, Paul tells us what the fruit of the Holy Spirit is:
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
I was recently reading the daily devotional reading in Tabletalk magazine, something I have done daily for many years. That article stated that kindness should increase in proportion to the amount of authority and power leaders have. Kindness is especially important for leaders since the Bible warns authority figures not to be harsh with those whom they lead (Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:19). The article goes on to say that kindness does not mean that hard words are never necessary. It does mean that when offering correction leaders should seek to build up and not to tear down.

Kindness is not the same as being nice, however. In his book The Advantage, Patrick Lencioni, in writing about conflict tells us:
“Nowhere does this tendency toward artificial harmony show itself more than in mission-driven nonprofit organizations, most notably churches. People who work in those organizations tend to have a misguided idea that they cannot be frustrated or disagreeable with one another. What they are doing is confusing being nice with being kind”.
In distinguishing between kind and nice, Kevin Ellerton states that “nice” is a self-centered behavior pattern, where you are acting in a “pleasing” manner, to “be a nice person,” and get people to like you. On the other hand, “kind” is an other-centered behavior pattern, where you’re acting in the best interests of others, out of a sense of love, empathy, and compassion. Servant leaders should be other-centered.
Garland Vance writes when you are nice, you avoid telling the truth – such as being honest about a team member’s performance or potential – because it will hurt people’s feelings – or you are afraid that they may not like you as much. He goes on to state that when you are kind, you speak the truth in love because the truth sets us free. He tells us that your leadership suffers — and your team suffers — when you mistake being nice for being kind.
Stephen Witmer, in writing about kindness, tells us that kindness is underrated. We equate it with being nice or pleasant, as though it’s mainly about smiling, getting along, and not ruffling feathers. It seems a rather mundane virtue. But the Bible presents a very different, and compelling, portrait of kindness. He tells us that true kindness is Spirit-produced (Galatians 5:22). It’s a supernaturally generous orientation of our hearts toward other people, even when they don’t deserve it and don’t love us in return. He writes that kindness is no small thing. It yields marvelous fruit both in our lives and the lives of those around us. “Whoever pursues righteousness and kindness will find life, righteousness, and honor” (Proverbs 21:21).
Have you ever thought about leaders being kind, or the difference between being kind and being nice? Who comes to mind as you think of someone who leads with kindness?
Servant leaders should be other-centered and speak the truth in love, not holding back so that they will be liked or popular. In what ways can you demonstrate kindness as a leader?

This is an Adapted Excerpt From My Book “A LEADER WORTH FOLLOWING:
40 Key Leadership Attributes and Applications to Master”.