I didn’t post yesterday. My day started early because my infusion was scheduled for 9 AM, and after my appointment with my oncologist, where he canceled the infusion, I didn’t feel much like posting. Instead, I went straight to work, editing a story.

Not that I was depressed. I’m really not. I don’t do depression. That sounds weird, I know, but for me, it’s just not natural to let emotions pound me into the ground. And it wasn’t like I wasn’t expecting some news that might not be pleasant.

Last Thursday, I had some bloodwork done in preparation for yesterday’s appointment. It’s a big old panel of tests they run. Most were completely normal—including my liver stats, which haven’t been normal in a long while. That was good news. The one test that always has me edgy is my cancer marker test, the CA-125, because when it goes up from normal range (the top of normal range is 38), it means my cancer is likely back, roaming around my body, looking for somewhere to cause some problems.

Well, last Thursday’s result was 525. Very, very not good.

My daughter and I met with my doctor. We decided that my remaining immunotherapy medicine, Keytruda (I had already gone off Lenvima), wasn’t doing diddly to keep the cancer at bay. So the infusion was cancelled. I wasn’t sorry. I hate sitting in a chair with an IV in my arm. It’s boring as hell. We talked about what’s next.

First, he wants another PET scan to see where the cancer might be lurking. What he sees will determine whether I go back on chemotherapy, or we try a more targeted approach, something called HER2. I’ve been reading up on it. He seemed to think that the genetic testing they’ve done on my cancer indicated that HER2 might work for me. He said it’s easier to tolerate than the heavy-duty chemo I did last year.

So now, they have to get approval for the scan. As soon as they do, I’ll head to their office in Hot Springs. The following Monday, I’ll meet with him to go over the results of the scan, and we’ll talk about a game plan.

I’m feeling good. Well, other than some back pain, some stomach bloating, some vertigo, and nausea… Guess that’s enough complaining, right? My daughter and I did not walk out of that office yesterday feeling devastated. We headed home to have coffee and do some Googling to learn about this new therapy. That’s what we do.

I have a nurse who checks in with me monthly, reviewing my meds, my symptoms, asking me questions about my moods. She called today. I asked for a renewal of an old nausea med then asked her whether they have a dietician available for me to get serious about how to improve my odds through diet. I’m hoping I don’t have to cut out pasta or rice dishes. Or spicy foods. Or hot sauce, chili flakes, wasabi… Now, I’m hungry, so I’m stopping here.

I love you all. Take care of yourselves. Hug your friends and families. I’ll be back with something fun tomorrow!