I was picking blueberries. I like doing this. My own back
yard, a beautiful sunny day, a piece of heaven. I was thinking about family. In
particular, about a conversation I had recently with my sister-in-law. We are
at the age where our children are starting families of their own. Suddenly, we’re
informed that we didn’t do a very good job as parents. Feeling anger and hurt, I
had to think about these rather harsh words. I think maybe this is a natural
process. When the next generation starts thinking of how they will raise their
own new babies, they start thinking of what we did wrong. They haven’t realized
yet that we can’t give our children everything, and our children shouldn’t get
everything. They haven’t figured it out yet that they will not be able to be
everything for their own new babies.




It’s okay for our children to feel what they feel. Whether
they feel that we didn’t treat all the children the same, or whether we weren’t
there enough for them. Maybe it’s true. We did our best with what we had at the
time, and with what we knew. There might be child raising books out there now,
but they will soon learn that every baby they raise is going to be different
from the one before. There is no one way, or right way for everyone.




As they reflect back, I only hope that they realize the
adults who raised them and loved them would have given their lives for them. We
might have been one of those who left the poor squalling infant in a dumpster
somewhere, or cared too much about our next fix to provide food for their empty
stomachs. We did not. We held you and loved you, and did our best by you.




My advice for all of us is to feel as we do, respect those feelings, and hopefully be able to move on. Let's not punish each other for being flawed and human. That's why we were all put here to be. By all means learn from our mistakes, but be sure, you will find your own which you will bleed and shed tears over. Such is life.