You Failed....WHAT now?
We've all failed. It’s just a matter of what we do with that failure, big or small, that really defines who we are or at least where we want to go.
We often linger too long in our failures because whether it be for a pity party or because other people simply won't let it go. Don't get me wrong, there are some failures that take a little bit longer to get over than others but we still should set a timetable in our minds and our hearts about how to get over something so that we can move forward and begin to learn and turn that into a success.
I was recently watching one of my favorite all time movies “Elizabethtown.” The great thing that makes Cameron Crowe movies so good is that he writes from personal experience and that's how we connect to the characters. “Elizabethtown” is poignant in that it covers a good mindset to have about dealing with failure.
The movie starts off with the story about Drew Bailor who failed at major shoe company and also finds out that his Dad died. Along the way he meets Claire who ends up helping him discover how to grieve and honor his Dad and deal with his failure in order to not lose his mind along the way. (A good woman can help with guys.)
In the movie, Drew’s thoughts and wisdom's are narrated and he mentions failure in a way that I think is very ominous into our own lives. He says:
“A failure is simply the non-presence
of success But a fiasco is a disaster
of mythic proportions. A fiasco is a folktale told to others that makes other people
feel more alive because it didn't happen to them.”
What Drew says is true but I wanna add that I also believe that we tend to turn failures into fiascoes simply because we don't know how to let go. It’s the too much drama for me mama events that make it hard to grow in a positive direction. In order to avoid falling victim to “blowing things out of proportion” falls into 3 areas of trust; Trusting in God, Ourselves and Others.
1. Trusting in GOD. This comes from a faith and trust that God allows us to fail so that He can do what He loves which is building us up. Also, in the faith that He’s in control along the way no matter how out-of-control it feels.
2. Trusting in Ourselves. When we fail, the biggest dent is not in the failure itself but the confidence that falls away because we question why we attempted that project or relationship and we lose our confidence in that we may not need to attempt anything remotely close to that ever again. I believe that 1 and 2 are tied together because we can only gain confidence by trusting God. He gave us the gifts we have and passions to pursue so why not lean on Him to build that confidence back as well.
3. Trusting in Others. This is the hardest of all when something fails. We lose hope in people and our ability to lead or follow them. A good leader serves and a great leader serves with people who are more talented in areas that they are not. So surrounding yourself with people who are talented in the areas that you need in order to succeed as a person is just as important as trusting that they have your back and best interest at heart. Just like a band, we all have different instruments to play and it takes all of them to make good music.
The best example of how to do that comes later in the movie in a conversation between Drew and Claire where he is admitting his failures to her giving her an excuse not to be with him.
Drew: No, you don't get it.
Claire: All right, you really failed. You failed, you failed, you failed. You failed, you failed, you...You think I care about that? I do understand. You're an artist, man. Your job is to break through barriers. Not accept blame and bow and say: "Thank you, I'm a loser, I'll go away now." "Phil's mean to me..." So what?
Drew: I don't cry.
Claire: You want to be really great? Then have the courage to fail big and stick around. Make them wonder why you're still smiling. That's true greatness to me.
True greatness is something that we all want to strive for; whether that’s in our careers and our families or our churches or in our community. However, we have to follow Claire’s advice and admit that we have failed, then learn from it and be able to move on. Because other people are watching how we deal with our failures and when we can stand and smile thru it that is truly the greatest success of our lives.
We often linger too long in our failures because whether it be for a pity party or because other people simply won't let it go. Don't get me wrong, there are some failures that take a little bit longer to get over than others but we still should set a timetable in our minds and our hearts about how to get over something so that we can move forward and begin to learn and turn that into a success.
I was recently watching one of my favorite all time movies “Elizabethtown.” The great thing that makes Cameron Crowe movies so good is that he writes from personal experience and that's how we connect to the characters. “Elizabethtown” is poignant in that it covers a good mindset to have about dealing with failure.
The movie starts off with the story about Drew Bailor who failed at major shoe company and also finds out that his Dad died. Along the way he meets Claire who ends up helping him discover how to grieve and honor his Dad and deal with his failure in order to not lose his mind along the way. (A good woman can help with guys.)
In the movie, Drew’s thoughts and wisdom's are narrated and he mentions failure in a way that I think is very ominous into our own lives. He says:
“A failure is simply the non-presence
of success But a fiasco is a disaster
of mythic proportions. A fiasco is a folktale told to others that makes other people
feel more alive because it didn't happen to them.”
What Drew says is true but I wanna add that I also believe that we tend to turn failures into fiascoes simply because we don't know how to let go. It’s the too much drama for me mama events that make it hard to grow in a positive direction. In order to avoid falling victim to “blowing things out of proportion” falls into 3 areas of trust; Trusting in God, Ourselves and Others.
1. Trusting in GOD. This comes from a faith and trust that God allows us to fail so that He can do what He loves which is building us up. Also, in the faith that He’s in control along the way no matter how out-of-control it feels.
2. Trusting in Ourselves. When we fail, the biggest dent is not in the failure itself but the confidence that falls away because we question why we attempted that project or relationship and we lose our confidence in that we may not need to attempt anything remotely close to that ever again. I believe that 1 and 2 are tied together because we can only gain confidence by trusting God. He gave us the gifts we have and passions to pursue so why not lean on Him to build that confidence back as well.
3. Trusting in Others. This is the hardest of all when something fails. We lose hope in people and our ability to lead or follow them. A good leader serves and a great leader serves with people who are more talented in areas that they are not. So surrounding yourself with people who are talented in the areas that you need in order to succeed as a person is just as important as trusting that they have your back and best interest at heart. Just like a band, we all have different instruments to play and it takes all of them to make good music.
The best example of how to do that comes later in the movie in a conversation between Drew and Claire where he is admitting his failures to her giving her an excuse not to be with him.
Drew: No, you don't get it.
Claire: All right, you really failed. You failed, you failed, you failed. You failed, you failed, you...You think I care about that? I do understand. You're an artist, man. Your job is to break through barriers. Not accept blame and bow and say: "Thank you, I'm a loser, I'll go away now." "Phil's mean to me..." So what?
Drew: I don't cry.
Claire: You want to be really great? Then have the courage to fail big and stick around. Make them wonder why you're still smiling. That's true greatness to me.
True greatness is something that we all want to strive for; whether that’s in our careers and our families or our churches or in our community. However, we have to follow Claire’s advice and admit that we have failed, then learn from it and be able to move on. Because other people are watching how we deal with our failures and when we can stand and smile thru it that is truly the greatest success of our lives.
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