A friend has been posting up links on Facebook regarding various feminist issues. Being someone who is all for equality, as evidenced (I hope) in my writings, I usually take a look and find myself in agreement with the ideas and attitudes espoused. Two recent posts did catch my attention and caused me to think, though. The first was from someone decrying the tendency of men to act defensively in debates about rape and sexual harassment by saying “It’s not all men” and whilst true, it’s not helpful to the debate as it deflects the discussion and that women know that “It’s not all men” that behave that way. My response after a little thought was to say that men have this knee-jerk reaction because of the tendency of some of the more vocal sections of the feminist agenda to tar all men with the same brush, thus causing men to feel under attack and produce unhelpful reactions. And if women want to say that “It’s not all women” who feel that way, then maybe they might start to see the problem.

The obvious blindness of the majority of feminists to the difficulties caused by small sections of their own networks led me on to the second post that had me thinking. One in which I’d become blind to a change in circumstances. The second post was from a women who had attended a comic convention where she witnessed another woman dressed as Wonder Woman being ogled, leered at, having pictures taken of her as she bent over to sign autographs, and even groped. The point of the piece was that how a woman dresses should in no way invite men to behave improperly towards her. This is a sentiment I wholeheartedly agree with and I posted a reply to show my support. It took a few hours for my mind to finally kick in and realize that I was missing a point. What about the male cos-play people at the convention? I’d be betting that if there were good-looking guys dressed in tight or skimpy outfits, that young women would likely also be taking photos without permission and perhaps even coping a feel on the way past. Would women object to this behavior or merely dismiss it as inconsequential because, “men like that sort of thing”? Hmmm… I’m sure when the debate about sexual harassment started back in the 1950’s that men said exactly the same about women and were pilloried for it. This scene slowly led me to thinking about the modern-day and how much has changed. I’m going to provide two examples of the problem.

I follow a web comic called The Devil’s Panties. Its author is a lady called Jennie Breeden and she attends comic cons all the time, promoting her work (which I think is great). At some conventions she organizes a night, mainly for the ladies, which involves kilt blowing. She is armed with a leaf blower and men wearing kilts, preferably in the traditional way (sans underwear), come up on stage to be subject to the leaf blower for the amusement of the audience. Now, if you’re like my wife, you’re probably having a good laugh at the thought, or maybe the videos, if you clicked the link. Personally, I’m fine with the event, people are having a good time and are consenting adults so where’s the issue? But, let’s suppose that in the room next door, a bunch of guys are sitting watching women wearing skirts and no underwear come up on stage to face a guy with a leaf blower. I can almost see the indignation on the faces of some feminists as they scream that the event is degrading to women, that the women are being used as sexual objects, feminists who didn’t bat an eyelid at men being put in the same position for the entertainment of women.

The second example comes in the form of the sex industry, specifically, strippers. Men going to strip shows are seen as being unseemly and seedy, the women dancers being portrayed as victims of exploitation. But what about women seeing or hiring male strippers? No one seems to worry about that, especially not the women. They view their actions as “just having a bit of a laugh” and no thought is paid as to whether the male dancers are being exploited.

And so we come to the point of this piece. People, both men and women, have been so avidly pursuing the same issues for the last sixty years that we’ve failed to recognize that the world has moved on. In some instances, women have quietly achieved equality without anyone, including themselves, realizing it.  As can be seen from the examples, women have gotten there, not by modifying men’s behavior. but by changing their own to equal men. Yet, still the issue of men’s actions is doggedly fought over by the feminist lobby, not seeing that their fellow women are behaving the same as men now. The issue is no longer one of “Men need to learn to behave appropriately towards women” and should instead be: “What behavior is appropriate at all, by anyone, man or woman?” This is essentially what equality should be about. If a behavior is deemed wrong for one group, then it should be wrong for every group. A feminist writer did a piece about men’s health issues earlier this year, in which she pointed out the lack of support that men get in certain areas of health care compared to women. And her belief is that if women truly want equality, then they should be fighting for men’s rights just as strongly as women’s rights. And I’m with this wholeheartedly, I’m prepared to fight for and support women’s rights, but that support is going to wear thin if the same doesn’t happen in return. The reality is that if women are only seeking to remove their own disadvantages whilst ignoring those that men suffer, then they’re not fighting for equality , but superiority instead. I sincerely hope that women can rein in the vocal minority of their supporters so as to stop alienating men and let us work together for a true equality.