We’re all bombarded with news on a daily basis …. with 24-hour news networks flooding the airwaves, we’ve all become a little de-sensitized to all the bad news floating around these days. However, sometimes a news story – for any number of reasons – manages to stop you in your tracks. Such was the case with Arkansas realtor, Beverly Carter, who went missing this past Thursday evening September 25 when she left for the evening to show a property to a prospective client. Early this morning at about 12:30 a.m. her body was recovered in a shallow grave.

There is any number of reasons why this case intrigued me …. as a fellow Arkansan and aunt whose young, blue-eyed blonde niece also sells real estate in Little Rock, as a mother and grandmother whose stomach was literally torn up inside as Ms. Carter’s son spoke words of hope to the media that his mother might still be alive, all the while knowing as time passed that possibility was becoming more and more remote, as a woman immeasurably touched by a worried husband’s plea for her safe return and as a fellow citizen concerned about our growing vulnerability in a society frequently trolled by individuals whose selfish need to feed their own sordid obsessions can’t help but cause so much pain and misery for others.

Anyone who’s ever lost someone they’re close to by means of sudden, unexpected tragedy fully understands the weight of such a profound loss the Carter family and friends are currently experiencing. Therefore, I would like to add my prayers to the list of what must be thousands who are now praying for their ability to cope with the unspeakable. They need each other more than ever at this time.

I didn’t know Beverly Carter, but for all intents and purposes I – like so many other women – could have easily been her. As an interior designer for over 26 years, I have traveled countless times to properties – almost always unescorted – to meet clients, contractors and a variety of other disciplines, oftentimes in isolated locales, during evening hours and on weekends when jobsites are all but deserted, armed with nothing more than a pen, a legal pad and a tape measure. I’ve never considered the possibility of carrying a gun. With my small stature, I always felt like it could end up being more of a liability than protection. Besides, it’s very difficult to defend yourself from an unanticipated attacker, because unfortunately they are the ones who possess the element of surprise.

Saddened by the latest turn-of-events, I am at least grateful it looks as if authorities have caught the right perpetrator, and as such he won’t continue to stalk unsuspecting prey. Thirty-three year old Aaron Michael Lewis was arrested yesterday and then charged with capital murder in the case this morning, but I have to ask myself, “Aside from all the prayers and well wishes, how can those of us who don’t know the family personally honor Beverly Carter’s memory?”

To me the answer is obvious …. we can learn. When asked by reporters early this morning during a brief appearance prior to his transport exactly why Carter was targeted, the suspect replied, “Because she was just a woman who worked alone – a rich broker.” It should be noted, although Lewis has confessed to the kidnapping, to date he has denied killing her.

Still – despite what has happened here – I don’t think the answer lies in going out with the intention of arming ourselves to the hilt with an arsenal of newly purchased weapons. Handguns are best kept in the possession of those whose responsibility it is to use them in the process of performing their sworn duty and then and only then with discretion. Otherwise it can be used against you if lost within a struggle. When I lived and worked in Dallas, I used to carry a small bottle of pepper spray that was attached to my key ring, because my keys were always in my hands when I arrived at a location. However, aside from arming yourself with something designed explicitly for protection, we all must become more aware and almost overly protective about how we share our personal information.

Criminals regularly case social media outlets like Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram and of course Craigslist. Add to that the growing list of dating sites like Match.com – among others – and you have to realize there are any number of ways some deranged would-be perpetrator can glean intimate details about your life and your daily movements. I’ve always stated, “The internet – when used for its intended purpose – is a wonderful thing.” But there are countless individuals living on the fringe of society and operating in dark spaces who are using it as if it were some kind of perverse feeding ground. In this regard, it’s only by becoming more self-aware that we can only begin to protect ourselves from this kind of criminal element.

Take it from me – someone who was stalked by an unknown assailant for a period of two years, people have ways of watching you and insinuating themselves in your life without your knowing. It was only after I pleaded with him over the telephone in what must have been his 100 call, “Please stop ….” Through uncontrollable tears I explained how he had cost me and my family a good deal of money and sleep and that I was miserable and afraid to leave my children home alone anymore that he finally did just that. However, to this day I have no idea who this man was. This was time before the advent of personal computers and internet. I shudder to think what might have happened had his intervention occurred in today’s time.

In the end, it was not increased privacy or security that ended his siege. It wasn’t even a gun or the threat of violence that made him withdraw. It was me using what God gave me in the form of my wits appealing to whatever sense of decency he might still harbor deep within. Would this solution work every time? Probably not, but then neither would a gun. When it comes to keeping yourself safe, there is no one size fits all, fail-safe measure capable of guaranteeing 100% success when it comes to surviving a possible attack, but to carry on as if nothing dreadful has just occurred is fool-hearty as well.

The only real way any of us has the hope of surviving the kind of ordeal that took Beverly Carter’s life is by never putting ourselves in jeopardy in the first place. Only then will we have paid proper homage to her memory by letting those who knew and loved her that her death was not in vain. May God rest her soul.