On Ash Wednesday, we are supposed to announce to the world what we’re giving up, right? We plot and ponder, looking for the thing that—through its discarding—makes us somehow holier. Isn’t that always the way with us? Aren’t we forever looking to things—to quick fixes—to repair the broken parts of us?

We want a pat answer. One that denotes the proper amount of commitment but that is not so ambitious that it dooms us to failure. In short, we want a system where we check boxes, follow rules and “succeed.” Even our spirituality, it seems, we turn into a game of winners and losers. Find the right sacrifice? You win! Forget to pick one or buckle before your forty days are up? You lose. Simple, right?

But what if it’s not? What if we’re coming at this all wrong? What if God really doesn’t care whether or not we eat chocolate or play word games on our phone or even check our email (all things I’ve given up during Lents of yore)? What if the real point of it all is finding a way to refocus our attention on God through the experience of Jesus? Sometimes a well-chosen sacrifice can help us along that path, but sometimes it’s just a distraction—something to focus on instead of looking at those deep-seated fears that are really keeping us separated from God.

As you make your way through the Lenten season, open your heart to prayers and practices that allow you to finally feel safe enough in God’s presence to face the fears that are actually causing some of those habits you’re tempted to give up. Ironically, by giving up perfunctory giving up of Lent, you might just find yourself feeling less compulsive about some of your vices. Or you may find new eyes and realize that what you perceived as vices are not at all. Really, none of us know what we’ll find, which is kind of the most beautiful part of it all. We don’t need to mandate or dictate the rules for a “successful” Lent. We just need to show up and listen. This is the prayer from contemplative Thomas Keating that I’ll be using to usher in a new kind of Lenten season in my soul. Would love to hear about your prayers and practices for journeying with Jesus during this season.

Welcome, welcome, welcome.
I welcome everything that comes to me today because I know it’s for my healing.
I welcome all thoughts, feelings, emotions, persons, situations and conditions.
I let go of my desire for power and control.
I let go of my desire for affection, esteems, approval and pleasure.
I let go of my desire for survival and security.
I let go of my desire to change any situation, condition, person or myself.
I open to the love and presence of God and God’s action within.
Amen.