Is Your Hot New Date Going to Kick Your Butt?
Domestic abuse often starts on the first date. Sometimes it's obvious . . . sometimes not.
Here are some of the signs that may indicate you’ve encountered an abusive person – male or female:
1. Does he sound too good to be true when you first speak to him? Ernest Hemingway offered this advice: “When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.”
2. Listen completely to his story. Sometimes, if you let them talk long enough, liars will reveal the truth inadvertently. Pay particular attention to what he jokes about. If his sense of humor is crude or vulgar or shows negativity or disrespect to women, especially if it’s during your first conversation, that’s your clue to listen more closely…but at a distance.
3. Does he ask questions that make you uncomfortable? Try to get you to reveal more about yourself than you want to share? Does he ignore your wishes if you ask for a change of subject? Similarly, does he seem evasive when you ask the questions?
4. If you’re talking online or by phone, does he insist on meeting in person immediately? If he does, and you resist the idea, does he attempt to make you feel guilty or tease you about being uptight?
5. Does he seem immature? Jealous? Possessive?
6. Does he engage in “forced teaming” or start talking in terms of “we” and “us” sooner than you would expect?
7. If you agree to meet him for a first date, does he try to set the place and time and insist on being alone with you? If you’ve met him at a bar, club or party, does he try to separate you from your friends?
8. If you choose to spend time with him, notice how he interacts with servers, cab drivers, valet parking attendants and other service professionals. Does he treat them courteously and tip appropriately or does he have a short temper and little patience? How does he interact with women, especially?
9. In the stories he tells, does he always seem to place blame on others or be the victim of some sort of abuse?
10. Does he react negatively if you speak to other men, or your female friends, while you’re with him?
11. Does he ignore your physical boundaries, especially in public? Does he react with anger if you tell him no?
12. Does he slap and/or twist arms?
13. It’s always wise to let friends know that you’re meeting someone for the first time. It’s not a bad idea to snap a photo of your date and even the license plate on his car. If you try to do so, does he react with anger or respect that you are concerned for your safety?
If you fear for your safety, call the National Domestic Abuse Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
Excerpted from; Escaping the O/Zone, Intuition, Situational Awareness and Staying Safe.https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2...
Here are some of the signs that may indicate you’ve encountered an abusive person – male or female:
1. Does he sound too good to be true when you first speak to him? Ernest Hemingway offered this advice: “When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.”
2. Listen completely to his story. Sometimes, if you let them talk long enough, liars will reveal the truth inadvertently. Pay particular attention to what he jokes about. If his sense of humor is crude or vulgar or shows negativity or disrespect to women, especially if it’s during your first conversation, that’s your clue to listen more closely…but at a distance.
3. Does he ask questions that make you uncomfortable? Try to get you to reveal more about yourself than you want to share? Does he ignore your wishes if you ask for a change of subject? Similarly, does he seem evasive when you ask the questions?
4. If you’re talking online or by phone, does he insist on meeting in person immediately? If he does, and you resist the idea, does he attempt to make you feel guilty or tease you about being uptight?
5. Does he seem immature? Jealous? Possessive?
6. Does he engage in “forced teaming” or start talking in terms of “we” and “us” sooner than you would expect?
7. If you agree to meet him for a first date, does he try to set the place and time and insist on being alone with you? If you’ve met him at a bar, club or party, does he try to separate you from your friends?
8. If you choose to spend time with him, notice how he interacts with servers, cab drivers, valet parking attendants and other service professionals. Does he treat them courteously and tip appropriately or does he have a short temper and little patience? How does he interact with women, especially?
9. In the stories he tells, does he always seem to place blame on others or be the victim of some sort of abuse?
10. Does he react negatively if you speak to other men, or your female friends, while you’re with him?
11. Does he ignore your physical boundaries, especially in public? Does he react with anger if you tell him no?
12. Does he slap and/or twist arms?
13. It’s always wise to let friends know that you’re meeting someone for the first time. It’s not a bad idea to snap a photo of your date and even the license plate on his car. If you try to do so, does he react with anger or respect that you are concerned for your safety?
If you fear for your safety, call the National Domestic Abuse Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
Excerpted from; Escaping the O/Zone, Intuition, Situational Awareness and Staying Safe.https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2...
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