Mollie Goes From Strength to Strength
I began writing this blog nearly two years ago, my how time flies. At that stage the worst and most debilitating years in our PDA journey were thankfully behind us and this blog detailed the journey of our recovery. I say ‘our’ because it has seen improvements and many changes for both Mollie and me.
Two years ago we were both, crushed, broken and battered (not literally) by each other and by the system. Two years later and we have a much more positive story to share and to tell.
Mollie has being making sudden and dramatic improvements which have truly exceeded my wildest expectations. Following two years of hard slog, taking one step forward followed by two steps back and times when I truly never thought that I would see the light at the end of the tunnel I am pleased to say that I am now positively basking in the warm glow of the light.
The real big changes have come in just the last few months or so. It could be that puberty has had a major influence in this or it could be a combination of very many factors coming together and finally pulling in the same direction all at once. Two years of social and demand detox combined with an all round holistic approach and maturing years may, finally, be beginning to really pay dividends.
Mollie is generally far, far happier and her emotional well being is far improved from what it once was. She is now able to socialise and to interact much more successfully without feeling the need to, or perhaps with now being able to supress her need to control all interactions. Large family occasions which would have at one time being either avoided or would have ended in disaster are now being achieved with ease and with regularity. Christmas day was a huge success and passed by without incident.
Our glass fusing project is coming on in leaps and bounds and I will shortly be booking our first craft fair. Making these items is so deeply calming and really helps to clear my mind. Mollie occasionally joins me but this has really turned out to be my pastime but my mental health is important too. Mollie fully intends to join me when we sell the goods though and to pocket half of the cash ha ha. This will give her more social exposure and the chance to converse with other people.
Mollie also beginning to show much better control, in general, over how she deals with stressful situations and also awareness and empathy to those who may be affected. She will often apologise if she has being snappy and explain why or how she was feeling at that given moment.
Only last night she had attended an event that she had found stressful and she showed great awareness of her internal state and demonstrated her own problems solving techniques for helping to overcome this. She told me that she was stressed and asked if we could call in Aldi on the way home so that she could get some ice cream as this would help to calm her down.
During meals out if she is stressed, rather than exploding, she sits under the table. Either Lee or I will pick up on this and ask her if she would like to go outside for a breather. If we are at a family gathering at my mums she will ask me to go and relax in my mum’s bedroom with her if things are becoming too much and of course there is always the option of coming home if dealing with things are becoming impossible for her.
Mollie had her bedroom redecorated just after Christmas and she handpicked everything. Since then she has being sleeping in her own room and going up to bed by herself. She has had her computer, XBox and everything else transferred into her room which is now a place that she refers to as her own special retreat. Just recently she has begun playing online with her peers and she is doing remarkably well and does not appear to be over bossy or argumentative with them.
Within the last few weeks she has had her hair dip dyed at the hairdressers and the bleached ends have now being coloured with Pink dye. She has being going out more regular and she has become a very entertaining companion for me. We are enjoying shopping trips, walks with the dog, meals out and so on.
She has also recently accessed the following service in order to try to help her meet other children of a similar age and to establish some friendships. She has only being to one social night but it went very well and she came home beaming. She found the ‘Wellbeing Workshop’ very difficult due to being expected to discuss her feelings which isn’t something that she is comfortable with at all. But it is still good news because she at least has access to social nights and outings. This is a major achievement for her indeed.
http://www.changes.org.uk/html/young_people.html
Mollie is also starting to show a very real and exceptionally good flair for art and she loves photography. So after two years of radical unschooling clear and positive interests are beginning to become very apparent. Today we went for a walk to watch the solar eclipse and Mollie also took lots of photos which she wanted to draw in the next few days.
I suggested that if she was interested I could see if there were any local photography and art courses or groups that she could join. She was very interested indeed and has asked me to investigate this possibility for her. We then went to town in the afternoon and stocked her up with paper, charcoals, pencils and so on so that she fully stocked ready to start her artwork. I also advised that perhaps she could set up her own ‘Mollie’s Art and Photography’ facebook page and to post her work on there.
Here is some of Mollie’s recent artwork, all drawn completely freehand. If she can achieve this at only 11 years of age then the possibilities for the future really are endless
This is Mollie’s self portrait.
This is Ann, her personal assistant and respite provider for me.
This is her birdhouse that she built herself from flat pack and painted. The designs on it have being drawn freehand by Mollie.
We both find ourselves so much happier and calmer than either of us have being in years. I really feel that we have seen dramatic and sudden progress on the back of a very slow burn. I am beginning to finally see a future for Mollie, I am beginning to dream of what I never thought would be possible. With how things are progressing I can see no reason why she shouldn’t be able to manage some type of part-time college course for art, photography or design by the time she is sixteen.
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