If I have learned anything from horror movies, it is that some things are best left dead. Just this week, it was announced that��Full House would be revived on Netflix with a new series called��Fuller House. To this I give a resounding NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Here is the deal, I don’t hate Full House, quite the contrary in fact. I liked the original show and have seen every episode at least once. I grew up watching it and even now, I will watch an episode or two if there is nothing else to see. I know that seems a bit surprising to people who know me. Most people would recognize it as a bit on the icky sweet side for my current tastes, and it is. Yet, it still gives me a bit of kick. It is a throw back to the time when all I really had to worry about was whether or not my parents were going to make something I liked for dinner. A time when the world was small and its worries were not mine.

The big problem with this idea is that Full House had its time. It was clearly a product of the ’90s. It focused on issues of that time period and the increasing number of unconventional familial unites. Instead of a mother and a father, the girls in the series were treated to three males who banded together to raise them. Each of these men struggled with their concepts of identity and masculinity, as they walked a fine line between father, friend and mother. The girls themselves were the center of stories which revolved around major concerns of the time including teen smoking, body image, and gender identity, but all in a very wholesome TGIF manner. My problem is that this show has served its purpose. I don’t need to see D.J. struggle to raise three sons (what a plot twist).

The same can be said of a plethora of shows which keep being dragged back from cancellation like Boy Meets World, Heroes, Twin Peaks and Arrested Development.��So far two of these shows have already aired new seasons and both of them have been underwhelming at best. Girl Meets World is essentially unwatchable. Where its predecessor was filled with charm and characters the viewers actually gave a damn about, the current show is simply derivative and the characters are irritating. The new version of this show has done nothing to move the story forward. Corey and Topanga’s daughter is obnoxious and her best friend is a complete rip off of the Shawn Hunter (a character played much better by Rider Strong). Corey has been slid into the role of Mr. Feeny, but he is not nearly as commanding a presence. To cap it off, no public school would allow a teacher to teach his or her own daughter unless there was no other choice. To be honest, I didn’t even make it all the way to the end of the first episode.

Arrested Development on Netflix simply lost its charm. Once again, this is a situation of a show completely mired in its time. The original revolved around the economic downfall of a rich family due to corporate greed and malfeasance. It could not have been more timely. The show which aired in 2003 almost perfectly predicted the housing market crash and the negative behaviors of large companies and banks. Upon its resurrection, the Bluth family became mired in an insanely meta-fictive tale about attempts to get a movie made about them. It simply left a bad taste. Some of the once likable characters were forced to do horrible, unlikable things and the show kept throwing in references to when it was actually funny (wink wink). By the end of the Netflix season when George Michael punches his father in the face, I felt like I was on the receiving end of Michael Cera’s weak jab.

So many shows are now attempting to recapture their glory days. For Heroes, that was season one of the series. The writer’s strike of 2007-08 caused almost irreparable damage to the second season, which was forced to wrap up loose ends in a frenzy for fear that it would never get another chance. By the time the series had finished, I think I was the only person left in the world who actually gave a damn. I know that I am going to give��Heroes Reborn a look, but I am not holding my breath that it will be any good. Only a smattering of the original cast members are coming back. In the long run, with all of the superhero stuff out right now, is this show even going to matter at all?

So often, I turn on my computer or the television and hear about some group petitioning to bring back a show that they loved. A show that was wrongfully canceled or treated poorly by executives. These groups are all hoping for a brilliant coda akin to the Firefly film��Serenity but that was an anomaly. Firefly was not actually a story of its time like so many others, it was a tale of the future. A tale of what could be. Yet even the die-hard Firefly fans can’t seem to accept that it is done. Wash and Book are dead. Deal with it and move on with your life.

The sad truth is that resurrections almost never go off correctly. In the end the fans are generally left with a hollow, soulless, husk of their former loved ones. A mass of characters and rehashed scenarios, shambling through their paces, looking to devour your brains.