Most people believe being happy is something that is coming later. I will be happy when I get more money, a better job, or meet the right person. You hold onto the belief that what you are doing and being now is not enough, and that “if” this happened and “that” happened, you would finally reach your goal of happiness. I know what this is like. I create great anxiety for myself almost everyday when I have frustration in my work and relationships.

I want everything to be perfect. If only [insert person’s name] would behave the way I want them to be; If only I had more [money, time, freedom, opportunity]. If only I had less [stress, debt, worry, expectations]. It seems that nothing is as it should be, and you can never quite get the perfect combination that would make you totally complete.

My default thinking is “this would end if only…” and then the cycle perpetuates itself into an image of the future. In my illusive state I see myself walking out of my workplace and into a better one, or leaving a relationship that isn’t working only to find myself in a new one. Eventually the new job becomes the old one and that new relationship has problems that weren’t there in the beginning. And guess what? The illusion starts again. Escapism from the present is at the core the “happiness illusion” that many people buy into.

We think that the future has some magical landing point that is just waiting to wrap us up in gifts of gold or a better life. Someone once said to me: “If you want to know what is in your future, look at what you are creating today, right now.” As Eckhart Tolle stated: “Nothing happens in the past or the future; it happens here, in the now.” It is a prolific statement, but it needs to be drilled into the time-based mind that has spent decades lost in either the past or future.

Resentment and regret are products of living in the past; anxiety and worry are created by thinking about the future and obsessing of the day when everything will be just right with your life, worry free, no bills to pay, life on the beach in Morocco, or finally living the life of your dreams with your loved ones. Although this may be what is waiting for you down the road, you can only arrive there by enjoying what is happening today. There is no guarantee of any future, no matter how much working or planning you do. This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t plan for what is ahead but, dropping expectations leave you free to choose “the moment” and enjoy what is happening today, even if isn’t the perfect situation. And when is a situation perfect.

Making comparisons of your life to others who have more is a pitfall that drags the mind back into its negative state. Someone always has more money, a better job, or a more attractive looking physique. Yes, there is always someone who “appears” to have it better; but this is a dangerous game to buy into. Nothing good comes of it. The truth is others do have more, and a great many others have less. Someone else does have a better job that give them the freedom to travel and live a life fulfilled, and many others don’t have jobs or can barely afford to feed themselves. Yes, there are people who look happier and seem stress-free, and there are many others who hate their lives and wish it would just get better to end the suffering.

Comparisons rob you of the moment to make good decisions that can have a profound effect on tomorrow or the future. And in those moments when you find yourself wishing you were someplace else with someone else living another life to escape the one you are living now, remember that you are where you are because you choose to be. Even if that place is uncomfortable or what you are doing with your life isn’t in alignment with what you really want to be or do.

But the question is: “What do you want to be and do? Who could you become if not the person you are right now?” Many people want to change or do something different, and yet, if you were to ask them what they couldn’t tell you. They might complain about the present situation, wish they had a different one, create a different one, and then eventually be unhappy again. You can see the cycle repeat itself. It is not that you are unhappy but, you refuse to accept the reality of the current state and so the illusion, the hope, that someday will be a better day leads you down a long path to a false reality of what the future is going to be once everything is in perfect alignment.

If you want to be happy, and I am talking real joy without all of the high expectations, then strive to be just that. If you complain and wish that you were someplace else, you can do that too, but the happiness you seek that is available to you today in each passing moment becomes an elusive shadow you keep missing. Now, here is a fantastic technique that is guaranteed to keep you focused and, make you realize that not everything is as is it seems.

A friend of mine was told that, to overcome feelings of anxiety and to keep his mind focused on the present moment, I should start watching the clouds. He called this “Cloud Meditation.” When I first heard it I thought it sounded silly, but then I tried it, just a few minutes a day. Within a few weeks it became the most stimulating activity of my day. I do it everyday now for at least ten minutes.

Pick a group of clouds, or just one, and watch it as it floats up there. Check out the contour of its lining; observe the sun as it shines through the cloud, or just behind it giving it that glow effect. Do this for ten minutes if you can and think of nothing else. Let your mind free and drift away from your habitual thoughts of worry and problems.

What I love about this is the simplicity of it. There is no time because it doesn’t really exist. There is nothing to do or achieve. Clouds “just are” which makes them so peaceful to look at. I do this now every morning [except for those bad storm days] and it centers my thoughts for the rest of the day. If I have a chance in the evening I’ll do it again and watch the colors of the evening clouds as they leave us with a colorful sky before the night comes. Make Cloud Meditation a regular habit; you can do it at anytime of the day and it has actually replaced my usual routine of meditating the “traditional” way.

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