It's Football Time Again
Football Time: a wife's perspective
I have been married to a wonderful man for over 25 years. He coached football for many of those years and still helps with the younger teams. Being a coach's wife is a precarious situation. You are never able to really speak your mind and you walk on eggshells with friendships, knowing that your husband may have to confront the people around you at some time, whether it's another coach's wife or a parent. I have learned how to give birth to twins on a Friday morning and let my husband coach that same night. I have learned how to endure the harsh critics in the stands who don't understand how much my husband has poured into the team. I have learned to leave my pain in the stands and walk out to him on the field after a tough loss and support him when he feels like a failure. I have learned how to get up on Saturday mornings after those games and help him leave it behind him in order to face new team and a new challenge the upcoming week.
Here's 10 things I want you to learn:
1.) Playing time is based on performance, period. If your child is not playing as much as you think that he or she should, don't blame anyone. Believe me, that coach wants to win more than anyone else on the field and he or she will play the players that will bring that win. This is mostly speaking to the competitive levels of play. I understand the lower levels with equal time etc. By the way, Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team.
2.) After a Loss: shake the coach's hand no matter how you feel. He or she is not able to handle any criticism or comments after a game. Send him a card encouraging him and don't talk about him in front of your kids. If you don't agree with how he handled something, set up a meeting.
3.) After a Win: shake the coach's hand and thank them for all that they did to help prepare this last week. Do you know that a coach makes pennies on the hour at the lower levels and they are doing it because they LOVE kids? At least they should be...there might be a few stinkers out there.
4.) During the game: Shut your mouth unless its positive. The last thing anyone wants to hear is how bad a call was. I promise you that the coach knows things went awry. Besides, the play might have been an excellent call and was executed poorly. Oh! By the way, do you want him to show up at your work and yell at you over your shoulder while you work?
5.) Love your kids and enjoy the game. Please understand that less than 1% of high school players go to the next level and very few to the pros. The average pro career is 4 years. Wow! Do you really want to push that on your child? A 4 year career? Relax and enjoy what you kid is doing. He will love you for that and believe me--he is embarrassed when you act like the child instead of him.
6.) Get involved in a positive way: Offer to bring the team a meal or hold chains for the chain gang. How about donating money for the underprivileged kids on the team? Find a way to connect and you will enjoy it a whole lot more. There are always needs.
7.) Give you kid a hug even if his jersey is clean and he never set foot on the field. Those kids are just as valuable as the starting quarterback. Everyone is needed and the experience is good for them all. Winning, losing, playing, or being benched are all valuable experiences in life. Let him become a man.
8.) Trust in your coach: unless he is doing something you know is crazy or dangerous. Most coaches are excited and invigorated to be back on the field and don't sleep at all during the season. They pour hours and hours into films and meetings and practices. Give them a break and let them coach.
9.) Don't talk about the coach in a harmful way to ANYONE! If you are not happy with it--leave. It's better that you go than to be the one rotten apple. Coaches are humans...they aren't perfect...but neither are you. Again...do you want him showing up at your job and critiquing you? If you do, I will let him know.
10.) Lastly...please just enjoy the game
I have been married to a wonderful man for over 25 years. He coached football for many of those years and still helps with the younger teams. Being a coach's wife is a precarious situation. You are never able to really speak your mind and you walk on eggshells with friendships, knowing that your husband may have to confront the people around you at some time, whether it's another coach's wife or a parent. I have learned how to give birth to twins on a Friday morning and let my husband coach that same night. I have learned how to endure the harsh critics in the stands who don't understand how much my husband has poured into the team. I have learned to leave my pain in the stands and walk out to him on the field after a tough loss and support him when he feels like a failure. I have learned how to get up on Saturday mornings after those games and help him leave it behind him in order to face new team and a new challenge the upcoming week.
Here's 10 things I want you to learn:
1.) Playing time is based on performance, period. If your child is not playing as much as you think that he or she should, don't blame anyone. Believe me, that coach wants to win more than anyone else on the field and he or she will play the players that will bring that win. This is mostly speaking to the competitive levels of play. I understand the lower levels with equal time etc. By the way, Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team.
2.) After a Loss: shake the coach's hand no matter how you feel. He or she is not able to handle any criticism or comments after a game. Send him a card encouraging him and don't talk about him in front of your kids. If you don't agree with how he handled something, set up a meeting.
3.) After a Win: shake the coach's hand and thank them for all that they did to help prepare this last week. Do you know that a coach makes pennies on the hour at the lower levels and they are doing it because they LOVE kids? At least they should be...there might be a few stinkers out there.
4.) During the game: Shut your mouth unless its positive. The last thing anyone wants to hear is how bad a call was. I promise you that the coach knows things went awry. Besides, the play might have been an excellent call and was executed poorly. Oh! By the way, do you want him to show up at your work and yell at you over your shoulder while you work?
5.) Love your kids and enjoy the game. Please understand that less than 1% of high school players go to the next level and very few to the pros. The average pro career is 4 years. Wow! Do you really want to push that on your child? A 4 year career? Relax and enjoy what you kid is doing. He will love you for that and believe me--he is embarrassed when you act like the child instead of him.
6.) Get involved in a positive way: Offer to bring the team a meal or hold chains for the chain gang. How about donating money for the underprivileged kids on the team? Find a way to connect and you will enjoy it a whole lot more. There are always needs.
7.) Give you kid a hug even if his jersey is clean and he never set foot on the field. Those kids are just as valuable as the starting quarterback. Everyone is needed and the experience is good for them all. Winning, losing, playing, or being benched are all valuable experiences in life. Let him become a man.
8.) Trust in your coach: unless he is doing something you know is crazy or dangerous. Most coaches are excited and invigorated to be back on the field and don't sleep at all during the season. They pour hours and hours into films and meetings and practices. Give them a break and let them coach.
9.) Don't talk about the coach in a harmful way to ANYONE! If you are not happy with it--leave. It's better that you go than to be the one rotten apple. Coaches are humans...they aren't perfect...but neither are you. Again...do you want him showing up at your job and critiquing you? If you do, I will let him know.
10.) Lastly...please just enjoy the game
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