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A Married Woman
Astha has everything an educated, middle-class Delhi woman could ask for - children, a dutiful loving husband, and comfortable surroundings. So why should she be consumed with a sense of unease and dissatisfaction?Astha finds herself embarking on a powerfully physical relationship with a much younger woman, Pipee, the widow of a political activist. But with this extra-marital affair is she foolishly jeopardizing everything - or is Astha at last throwing off the fear and timidity instilled in her by her parents, her husband, her social class?Manju Kapur, celebrated author of the prize-winning Difficult Daughters, has written a seductive and beautifully honest story of love and betrayal, set at a time of on-going political and religious upheaval. Told with great sympathy and intelligence, and without a shred of sentimentality, A Married Woman is a story for anyone who has felt trapped by life's responsibilities.
310 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2002
97 people are currently reading
1845 people want to read
About the author
Manju Kapur
19 books213 followersManju Kapur is the author of four novels. Her first, Difficult Daughters, won the Commonwealth Prize for First Novels (Eurasia Section) and was a number one bestseller in India. Her second novel A Married Woman was called 'fluent and witty' in the Independent, while her third, Home, was described as 'glistening with detail and emotional acuity' in the Sunday Times. Her most recent novel, The Immigrant, has been longlisted for the DSC Prize for South Asian Literature. She lives in New Delhi.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 94 reviews
October 26, 2017
Laurel Thatcher Ulrich’s famous “Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History” has a point. History tends to ignore or undervalue those who are nameless and do the chores. In other words, let’s took about Socrates but give Xantippe a bad rep because, you know, for nagging about where the grocery money was coming from. Grocery money is so not important. In some ways, this is also true about books. We prefer to read novels with people doing things, discovering things, whacking things, screwing things.
Okay, maybe screwing people and not things, but you take my point.
Kapur’s novel, A Married Woman, is a well-behaved woman novel, a story about stories we don’t usually considering important or even worth reading about. There’s a reason for this. Conflict sells for a variety of reasons, yet we are missing something with conflict all the time.
Kapur’s novel about a married woman does have conflict, though it is a largely internal struggle. Ashta is making her way through life – a desire to be who she is, or to at the very least discover who she is – as well as to follow the traditional roles that are laid out for her. What happens are conflicts between duty and art, the survival of a marriage and the discovery of a new passion. These conflicts are played out with a backdrop of Muslim/Hindu conflict.
The book is quiet. In fact, it is hard at times to feel as if something more major must happen. It isn’t so much that nothing happens, but that what happens is very much real. Strangely, the weakest part of the book is the section that is Ashta’s voice. There is something off about those diary entries.
Okay, maybe screwing people and not things, but you take my point.
Kapur’s novel, A Married Woman, is a well-behaved woman novel, a story about stories we don’t usually considering important or even worth reading about. There’s a reason for this. Conflict sells for a variety of reasons, yet we are missing something with conflict all the time.
Kapur’s novel about a married woman does have conflict, though it is a largely internal struggle. Ashta is making her way through life – a desire to be who she is, or to at the very least discover who she is – as well as to follow the traditional roles that are laid out for her. What happens are conflicts between duty and art, the survival of a marriage and the discovery of a new passion. These conflicts are played out with a backdrop of Muslim/Hindu conflict.
The book is quiet. In fact, it is hard at times to feel as if something more major must happen. It isn’t so much that nothing happens, but that what happens is very much real. Strangely, the weakest part of the book is the section that is Ashta’s voice. There is something off about those diary entries.
February 20, 2018
My wife picked this and I followed in curious to know more about Married Woman :>
At the backdrop of Babri Masjid in 1992, the premise is set nicely. The character portrayal of Astha with her mental turmoils and lead up to her marriage was also great. Even the relationships were etched nicely.
Felt the promising start lost its momentum after around 50%. The latter part felt rushed up without much impact.
Overall liked it okay, and would love to explore other works of this author.
At the backdrop of Babri Masjid in 1992, the premise is set nicely. The character portrayal of Astha with her mental turmoils and lead up to her marriage was also great. Even the relationships were etched nicely.
Felt the promising start lost its momentum after around 50%. The latter part felt rushed up without much impact.
Overall liked it okay, and would love to explore other works of this author.
May 30, 2011
I remember a few bloggers reviewing Manju Kapur's books positively and had wanted to pick something up by her for the longest time. My library had a couple of books by her and for some strange reason I was attracted to this book.Guess it had something to do with the fact that I was intrigued by the storyline- about a relationship an older woman has with a younger one and wanted to see how the subject's been handled by an Indian writer.
Astha is a middle class woman ,who lives in Delhi with her husband, two children and in-laws.She has everything a woman would need, but still has niggles of dissatisfaction bubbling in her. The story is really about how Astha changes from a unsure,college girl who has dreams of a mills and boons- type hero swooping in and carrying her away to a mature ,middle-aged woman who feels a little alienated in her marriage as time passes. Manju's writing is not spectacular ,but she adroitly captures the essence of trials and tribulations of a middle class family in the 80's. She takes time to build characters,but does a good job of keeping the reader glued to the pages. I am sure a lot of people will relate to a lot of things Astha or her family goes through like how they struggle to buy their first house or what is perceived to be the role of a woman in a traditional Indian household.
The beginning of Astha's "rebellion" against conforming to the norm starts when she starts taking interest in conceiving a play about the Babri Masjid troubles. She meets like minded people and drifts off into the world of activism.Her family's attitude towards her activism enrages her all the more and she inadvertently falls in love with Pipee, an NGO worker. Their relationship has friendship as a base and deepens into something more as time passes.The rest of the story is about what happens to the relationship between Pipee and Astha and also how Astha manages a double life- the life of a lover of a woman and that of a married woman with kids and responsibilities.
The intimate scenes between Astha and Pipee have been handled very sensitively by Manju,so have the incidents surrounding the Babri Masjid demolition and riots. At times Pipee came across as an overly selfish, immature person.she would have to be my least favorite character in the book. Hemant(Astha's husband) is portrayed realistically with many idiosyncrasies. Some might feel that Hemant's demands on his wife were excessively unrealistic,but I guess he represents how a lot of Indian men were like in the eighties. The backdrop of political agitation imparts a bitter-sweet tinge to the main story.
Manju switches from a third person narrative to a first person narrative (where she captures Astha's take on the activism directly) somewhere in the middle of the book.The abrupt change seemed a little weird and makes the narrative choppy. Overall, an okay read. Not brilliant,but entertaining and a thought-provoking piece of fiction.
Rating: 3/5 .I recommend it people who like Indian writing.
Astha is a middle class woman ,who lives in Delhi with her husband, two children and in-laws.She has everything a woman would need, but still has niggles of dissatisfaction bubbling in her. The story is really about how Astha changes from a unsure,college girl who has dreams of a mills and boons- type hero swooping in and carrying her away to a mature ,middle-aged woman who feels a little alienated in her marriage as time passes. Manju's writing is not spectacular ,but she adroitly captures the essence of trials and tribulations of a middle class family in the 80's. She takes time to build characters,but does a good job of keeping the reader glued to the pages. I am sure a lot of people will relate to a lot of things Astha or her family goes through like how they struggle to buy their first house or what is perceived to be the role of a woman in a traditional Indian household.
The beginning of Astha's "rebellion" against conforming to the norm starts when she starts taking interest in conceiving a play about the Babri Masjid troubles. She meets like minded people and drifts off into the world of activism.Her family's attitude towards her activism enrages her all the more and she inadvertently falls in love with Pipee, an NGO worker. Their relationship has friendship as a base and deepens into something more as time passes.The rest of the story is about what happens to the relationship between Pipee and Astha and also how Astha manages a double life- the life of a lover of a woman and that of a married woman with kids and responsibilities.
The intimate scenes between Astha and Pipee have been handled very sensitively by Manju,so have the incidents surrounding the Babri Masjid demolition and riots. At times Pipee came across as an overly selfish, immature person.she would have to be my least favorite character in the book. Hemant(Astha's husband) is portrayed realistically with many idiosyncrasies. Some might feel that Hemant's demands on his wife were excessively unrealistic,but I guess he represents how a lot of Indian men were like in the eighties. The backdrop of political agitation imparts a bitter-sweet tinge to the main story.
Manju switches from a third person narrative to a first person narrative (where she captures Astha's take on the activism directly) somewhere in the middle of the book.The abrupt change seemed a little weird and makes the narrative choppy. Overall, an okay read. Not brilliant,but entertaining and a thought-provoking piece of fiction.
Rating: 3/5 .I recommend it people who like Indian writing.
May 16, 2009
A few months ago I had the privilege to meet this wonderful young girl who chose to be a missionary and help poor children in India. She told me about her trips and experiences there and I realized that to my shame I knew nothing about the reality of this large country. As a result of our meeting I became interested in knowing more and I found this book in my parents’ house in Romania about India and its spectacular economic boom. I am not sure it is the best book ever written about India but I read it with enthusiasm as I had no previous knowledge and it offered me enough information to delineate my own ideas.
In my own library at home in Spain there laid a novel written by an Indian woman writer that I had bought in Madrid one day, I had tried to read and then had left untouched but not forgotten on a shelf, its misteries still to be discovered. I know now that everything happens for a reason, as I am glad I did not read that book then, not before I read the other one that gave me a glimpse on India, its customs, religions, government, economics, poverty etc. I would not have been able to read Manju Kapur’s novel and understand it, otherwise. As it happens, I am part of a reading website where I saw that this book did not have very good reviews. I wondered why, but now as it is finished I think the explanation is that those people did not bother to go farther and wonder about Indian reality. For me, this book, A Married Woman, is far from being „unreadable”. In fact, I read it rather quickly and impatiently as it seemed to me to give shape and provide an example of what India is.
It is the story of a woman who feels trapped in a matrimony with a rather traditional husband who does not understand her. She is in constant battle between what traditional society and customs require from her status as „wife” and her own interests, passions and desires. She becomes an activist and she even falls in love and has an affair with another woman. The issues revealed by Manju Kapur make her very bold in my eyes. She talks about religious fanaticism, feminism, activism, bisexualism, governmental corruption, poverty, assassination, struggle for Indian unity. I strongly recommend this book especially to my female friends as I am sure that men may not completely understand some of the issues emphasized in this book and may not have the patience to read it to its end. I truthfully hope I am wrong in saying this. The book is available in English and Spanish for those of you who are interested.
In my own library at home in Spain there laid a novel written by an Indian woman writer that I had bought in Madrid one day, I had tried to read and then had left untouched but not forgotten on a shelf, its misteries still to be discovered. I know now that everything happens for a reason, as I am glad I did not read that book then, not before I read the other one that gave me a glimpse on India, its customs, religions, government, economics, poverty etc. I would not have been able to read Manju Kapur’s novel and understand it, otherwise. As it happens, I am part of a reading website where I saw that this book did not have very good reviews. I wondered why, but now as it is finished I think the explanation is that those people did not bother to go farther and wonder about Indian reality. For me, this book, A Married Woman, is far from being „unreadable”. In fact, I read it rather quickly and impatiently as it seemed to me to give shape and provide an example of what India is.
It is the story of a woman who feels trapped in a matrimony with a rather traditional husband who does not understand her. She is in constant battle between what traditional society and customs require from her status as „wife” and her own interests, passions and desires. She becomes an activist and she even falls in love and has an affair with another woman. The issues revealed by Manju Kapur make her very bold in my eyes. She talks about religious fanaticism, feminism, activism, bisexualism, governmental corruption, poverty, assassination, struggle for Indian unity. I strongly recommend this book especially to my female friends as I am sure that men may not completely understand some of the issues emphasized in this book and may not have the patience to read it to its end. I truthfully hope I am wrong in saying this. The book is available in English and Spanish for those of you who are interested.
March 5, 2010
I wanted to read this after having thoroughly enjoyed Kapu'rs latest, The Immigrant--a better, far superior novel. Still, I enjoyed A Married Woman, the story of what Kapur transmits as a tyical Indian 'middle class' (is there truly such a thing in India?!) woman, educated at the same Miranda House all-female college where Kapur herself was educated and has taught for years, from less than stellar circumstances: basically, an only child with apparently clueless parents whose need to marry her off well are continually met with a naive sort of resistance from her and their own clueless ineptitude. In this regard, the protagonist quite closely resembles the one in The Immigrant (though here she was more tightly drawn, and comes off as far more convincing). The action takes place during the 1970s, a time of change and turmoil in India, and Kapur attempts, not always successfully, to juxtapose these transformations with those within the protagonist herself--a woman who seems highly sexual from the set go--odd within these middle-class constraints?--but whose desires are thwarted both by the few young men she encounters and her own situation. Then she is finally 'set up' with a man determined to marry her, a man in a better position than her own, and marry they do: also, they seem to be sexually compatible, which, from the looks of it, would seem a good bet in these circumstances, considering that these kinds of women have virtually no options to learn, experience or choose, and that they're taught nothing. Her husband seems quite fond of her and although, as they years pass and children arrive, he becomes more and more submerged in his new business ventures, I still wasn't convinced that any of it was a true basis for her discontent, or her sudden lesbian awakening. Thus, for me, the love relationship with the other woman was the least interesting or authentic aspect of the book.
May 4, 2013
It was pretty disappointing. I had expected more from Manju Kapur. Its the story of Astha an ordinary middle class girl who has an 'arranged marriage' and then comes to know life is not a bed of roses. A few stereotypical issues are dealt with, with great bias. I am fed up that there should be lesbian sex in any book which vouches for woman uplifting. Can't women seem hep and forward and in control of their lives, without being lesbians or free-from-the-bond of marriage. I feel Astha has treated her husband and kids far worse than they have treated her. There's quite a lot about the Babri Masjid issue too.
July 8, 2013
-Costumbrismo exótico, sensible, casi contemporáneo y femenino.-
Género. Novela.
Lo que nos cuenta. Astha es hija única y sus padres se han volcado en su futuro desde sus propias perspectivas y anhelos fruto de su religión, entorno y clase social. Una serie de eventos personales en la vida Astha durante sus estudios universitarios provocan que la supervisión de sus progenitores se vuelva más férrea y que finalmente concierten su matrimonio con Hemant.
¿Quiere saber más de este libro, sin spoilers? Visite:
http://librosdeolethros.blogspot.com/...
Género. Novela.
Lo que nos cuenta. Astha es hija única y sus padres se han volcado en su futuro desde sus propias perspectivas y anhelos fruto de su religión, entorno y clase social. Una serie de eventos personales en la vida Astha durante sus estudios universitarios provocan que la supervisión de sus progenitores se vuelva más férrea y que finalmente concierten su matrimonio con Hemant.
¿Quiere saber más de este libro, sin spoilers? Visite:
http://librosdeolethros.blogspot.com/...
March 5, 2022
Comments here: https://youtu.be/RcDLiCgmdIY
Marriage for love or arranged?
This work by the Indian Manju Kapur presents us with themes similar to those we saw in Pearl S. Buck's "East Wind, West Wind" and dilemmas similar to Arriaga's "Save the Fire."
It presents us with the life of Astha, who has lived love since she was a child, but due to oriental customs she marries according to tradition. Arranged marriage shows us a similar evolution to love marriages, and makes us reflect. It presents us with historical, religious, social and political themes in the background, emphasizing that love does not occur in a vacuum, as we saw in "Look if I will love you" by Luis Leante. Astha is going to wish for a better self-realization, and from art, from marital problems, she is going to show us that infidelity can occur. And to be even more transgressive, she is going to introduce us to female homosexuality.
I like that the author does not moralize, and she offers us a very plausible perspective, but also very open and sincere. She does not give us answers, nor rules, and she leaves us to think about the dilemmas that she poses to us. That makes the work very deep.
Matrimonio por amor o concertado?
Esta obra de la india Manju Kapur nos presenta temas similares a los que veíamos en "Viento del este, viento del Oeste" de Pearl S. Buck y dilemas similares a "Salvar el fuego" de Arriaga.
Nos presenta la vida de Astha, quien vive el amor desde pequeña, pero que debido a las costumbres orientales se casa según la tradición. El matrimonio concertado nos muestra una evolución similar a los matrimonios por amor, y nos hace reflexionar. Nos presenta de trasfondo temas históricos, religiosos, sociales y políticos, destacando que el amor no se da en el vacío, como lo vimos en "Mira si yo te querré" de Luis Leante. Astha va a desear una mejor autorealización, y del arte, de los problemas conyugales, nos va a mostrar que la infidelidad se puede presentar. Y para ser todavía más transgresora, nos va a presentar el homosexualismo femenino.
Me gusta que la autora no moraliza, y nos ofrece una perspectiva muy verosímil, pero también muy abierta y sincera. No nos da respuestas, ni reglas, y deja que nosotros pensemos los dilemas que nos plantea. Eso hace que la obra sea muy profunda.
Marriage for love or arranged?
This work by the Indian Manju Kapur presents us with themes similar to those we saw in Pearl S. Buck's "East Wind, West Wind" and dilemmas similar to Arriaga's "Save the Fire."
It presents us with the life of Astha, who has lived love since she was a child, but due to oriental customs she marries according to tradition. Arranged marriage shows us a similar evolution to love marriages, and makes us reflect. It presents us with historical, religious, social and political themes in the background, emphasizing that love does not occur in a vacuum, as we saw in "Look if I will love you" by Luis Leante. Astha is going to wish for a better self-realization, and from art, from marital problems, she is going to show us that infidelity can occur. And to be even more transgressive, she is going to introduce us to female homosexuality.
I like that the author does not moralize, and she offers us a very plausible perspective, but also very open and sincere. She does not give us answers, nor rules, and she leaves us to think about the dilemmas that she poses to us. That makes the work very deep.
Matrimonio por amor o concertado?
Esta obra de la india Manju Kapur nos presenta temas similares a los que veíamos en "Viento del este, viento del Oeste" de Pearl S. Buck y dilemas similares a "Salvar el fuego" de Arriaga.
Nos presenta la vida de Astha, quien vive el amor desde pequeña, pero que debido a las costumbres orientales se casa según la tradición. El matrimonio concertado nos muestra una evolución similar a los matrimonios por amor, y nos hace reflexionar. Nos presenta de trasfondo temas históricos, religiosos, sociales y políticos, destacando que el amor no se da en el vacío, como lo vimos en "Mira si yo te querré" de Luis Leante. Astha va a desear una mejor autorealización, y del arte, de los problemas conyugales, nos va a mostrar que la infidelidad se puede presentar. Y para ser todavía más transgresora, nos va a presentar el homosexualismo femenino.
Me gusta que la autora no moraliza, y nos ofrece una perspectiva muy verosímil, pero también muy abierta y sincera. No nos da respuestas, ni reglas, y deja que nosotros pensemos los dilemas que nos plantea. Eso hace que la obra sea muy profunda.
November 2, 2022
I have encountered Manju Kapur's books in bookshops before, and I've never been drawn to them because of their kitschy, third-rate covers. I assumed that she wasn't a writer of much calibre. Theoretically I know not to judge a book by its cover, but in practice of course not. When this book was picked up for my book club this month, I took it up wearily expecting to abandon it soon, only to realize in a few pages how wrong I was. I was riveted in the story, and here was a masterful writer completely in control. In the author bio at the end of the book I found out that she has won many international awards and is quite acclaimed. So what would explain these god awful covers with their stock images of sad or longing women? It's infuriating that her books are prey to the very omnipresent sexism that she lays bare in her stories. How did the publishers get away with this? I wish some press would start a movement cleansing the misogyny from cover designs of books by female writers. And I have now learnt to ignore the cringeworthy cover designs if the author is a woman.
A Married Woman is a compelling portrait of a relatively privileged Indian woman who isn’t able to live her life to the fullest, bogged down by the overt and covert restrictions imposed by a narrow-minded society on women. Her class cushions her against the quotidian material problems the average Indian woman of her time was subject to - backbreaking domestic chores 365 days a year, keeping her family fed and clothed, making sure there was enough water to cover all the cooking and cleaning, saving for the future while contending with less than enough money forever, etc. The situation in India is still bleak for women (at best), so it’s needless to mention how it was back in the 70s and 80s. She is aware of how desirable her life sounds on paper and how trivial her problems might sound to others. Yet, she is unable to contend with the fact that her liberty comes after the needs (and whims) of everyone else in her family.
Her marriage (which must have been one of the better ones in India at the time) allows her minimal agency, satisfaction, and self-respect; she yearns to live life on her own terms, and to be in a loving, nurturing relationship. In her mid-thirties, she is able to get more involved in her artistic pursuits, and political activism despite the opposition from her family (which is expressed passive aggressively and more insidiously as disappointment rather than explicit censure). This eventually leads her to a satisfying relationship with a woman and she finds contentment for the first time in her life.
The story being set in the 70s and 80s deftly portrays a rapidly changing India coming to terms with globalization and marking an end to decades old stagnation. There is a lot of context with respect to Babur Mosque demolition in Ayodhya which I wasn’t aware of. Kapur expertly interweaves the personal with political, and we witness the protagonist negotiate the new terrains ahead alongside her country. The characters feel fully fleshed out, and there is an authenticity to the entire narrative that is remarkable.
I was gripped throughout the tale and honestly very surprised by the fact that this book was so readable. I’m glad to have found an exciting new writer whose other works I’m keen to explore now.
The many discontents of our protagonist’s life, all direct consequences of her gender, make for a brilliant novel. It reminded me of another novel I read this year about a woman’s life - Vladimir by Julia May Jonas.
A Married Woman is a compelling portrait of a relatively privileged Indian woman who isn’t able to live her life to the fullest, bogged down by the overt and covert restrictions imposed by a narrow-minded society on women. Her class cushions her against the quotidian material problems the average Indian woman of her time was subject to - backbreaking domestic chores 365 days a year, keeping her family fed and clothed, making sure there was enough water to cover all the cooking and cleaning, saving for the future while contending with less than enough money forever, etc. The situation in India is still bleak for women (at best), so it’s needless to mention how it was back in the 70s and 80s. She is aware of how desirable her life sounds on paper and how trivial her problems might sound to others. Yet, she is unable to contend with the fact that her liberty comes after the needs (and whims) of everyone else in her family.
Her marriage (which must have been one of the better ones in India at the time) allows her minimal agency, satisfaction, and self-respect; she yearns to live life on her own terms, and to be in a loving, nurturing relationship. In her mid-thirties, she is able to get more involved in her artistic pursuits, and political activism despite the opposition from her family (which is expressed passive aggressively and more insidiously as disappointment rather than explicit censure). This eventually leads her to a satisfying relationship with a woman and she finds contentment for the first time in her life.
The story being set in the 70s and 80s deftly portrays a rapidly changing India coming to terms with globalization and marking an end to decades old stagnation. There is a lot of context with respect to Babur Mosque demolition in Ayodhya which I wasn’t aware of. Kapur expertly interweaves the personal with political, and we witness the protagonist negotiate the new terrains ahead alongside her country. The characters feel fully fleshed out, and there is an authenticity to the entire narrative that is remarkable.
I was gripped throughout the tale and honestly very surprised by the fact that this book was so readable. I’m glad to have found an exciting new writer whose other works I’m keen to explore now.
The many discontents of our protagonist’s life, all direct consequences of her gender, make for a brilliant novel. It reminded me of another novel I read this year about a woman’s life - Vladimir by Julia May Jonas.
February 22, 2021
I really wanted to enjoy this book, but somehow it fell flat. The ending left me underwhelmed. Moreover, Pipee was the most frustrating character I read in a while. She is judgemental and shows extreme lack of sympathy for Astha. The book itself was very slow. Pipee and Astha met at around the 70% mark in the book so their relationship was fairly underdeveloped.
Astha’s and Hemanth’s relationship seemed very authentic and managed to keep me interested in the text. The constant gaslighting and the abuse of power is something I have seen a lot around me growing up. However, Astha didn’t undergo any major character arc throughout this book. Her relationship with Pipee was equally as toxic as her relationship with Hemanth. She was still submissive and tried her hardest to please each and every person in her life despite the toll it took on her.
There was so much telling and barely any showing in this book. The author provided a lot of context around the Hindu-Muslim conflict, however, it all seemed like a massive info-dump. It would have been better to see the subtle discrimination Muslims face every day in India from the lens of an upper middle class Hindu family. The book could have focused more on Astha’s sexuality. It could’ve dealt with performative activism. This book had so much potential and yet it was mediocre at best.
Astha’s and Hemanth’s relationship seemed very authentic and managed to keep me interested in the text. The constant gaslighting and the abuse of power is something I have seen a lot around me growing up. However, Astha didn’t undergo any major character arc throughout this book. Her relationship with Pipee was equally as toxic as her relationship with Hemanth. She was still submissive and tried her hardest to please each and every person in her life despite the toll it took on her.
There was so much telling and barely any showing in this book. The author provided a lot of context around the Hindu-Muslim conflict, however, it all seemed like a massive info-dump. It would have been better to see the subtle discrimination Muslims face every day in India from the lens of an upper middle class Hindu family. The book could have focused more on Astha’s sexuality. It could’ve dealt with performative activism. This book had so much potential and yet it was mediocre at best.
October 25, 2022
An eminently readable book!
From the first page, I got pulled into the narrative and Astha's life. Something about it felt so relatable and absorbing. This could be about the life of any middle-class Indian woman you know. I loved the details right down to the complaints Astha's parents voiced out during their weekly outings to eat. It truly captured the spirit of the Indian middle-class!
From this develops Astha's complex relationship with her own femininity and what it means to survive as a woman in the deeply entrenched patriarchy of Indian society. What is surprising and well-done is that there are no real "villains" here. Often in works promoting feminism, the upholders of patriarchy are so exaggeratedly bad, they almost justify the ones who aren't as bad. Here though, there is a sense of balance. We meet the characters with the same naivety that young Astha has and tend to see the good in them first. But as the novel progresses we see underneath this façade of niceness and see how each of them contribute to caging and containing Astha within her married life.
It is a distraction when Pipeelika enters the scene and the narrative shifts to telling her story for a while. It was jarring and I wished Manju Kapur could have continued with Astha's POV and somehow introduced Pipee and her history through their interactions. I can see the necessity for the shift - it lays the groundwork for us to like and understand this character as much as we do with Astha. I was somehow not able to feel the same amount of involvement though. Perhaps if Manju Kapur had gone into even more detail like she had with Astha, I would have been able to relate more.
Running through all this is the thread of growing communalism in India, centering around the Ayodhya issue. This feels particularly relevant now given the political climate in India. I loved how this was the backdrop to the story and added significantly to the events progressing as well.
The lesbianism is almost a footnote. We don't get to it until we are well into the novel. But when it does appear, it is very well done. The initial interactions, the growing fascination and the eventual development of their relationship all felt very organic. I loved that we were seeing the relationship mostly from Astha's side and how it changed and affected her. The eventual inevitable demise of the relationship was also handled perfectly. The whole episode paralleled similar real-life stories I've heard, but this was the first time I was seeing the married person's side of it.
The ending was perhaps a tad abrupt and very sad. I wanted to continue living with Astha. I can see how it is a fitting end to the novel though. It was almost as if Manju Kapur wanted to leave us with the same emotional upheaval that Astha has. A wonderful read!
From the first page, I got pulled into the narrative and Astha's life. Something about it felt so relatable and absorbing. This could be about the life of any middle-class Indian woman you know. I loved the details right down to the complaints Astha's parents voiced out during their weekly outings to eat. It truly captured the spirit of the Indian middle-class!
From this develops Astha's complex relationship with her own femininity and what it means to survive as a woman in the deeply entrenched patriarchy of Indian society. What is surprising and well-done is that there are no real "villains" here. Often in works promoting feminism, the upholders of patriarchy are so exaggeratedly bad, they almost justify the ones who aren't as bad. Here though, there is a sense of balance. We meet the characters with the same naivety that young Astha has and tend to see the good in them first. But as the novel progresses we see underneath this façade of niceness and see how each of them contribute to caging and containing Astha within her married life.
It is a distraction when Pipeelika enters the scene and the narrative shifts to telling her story for a while. It was jarring and I wished Manju Kapur could have continued with Astha's POV and somehow introduced Pipee and her history through their interactions. I can see the necessity for the shift - it lays the groundwork for us to like and understand this character as much as we do with Astha. I was somehow not able to feel the same amount of involvement though. Perhaps if Manju Kapur had gone into even more detail like she had with Astha, I would have been able to relate more.
Running through all this is the thread of growing communalism in India, centering around the Ayodhya issue. This feels particularly relevant now given the political climate in India. I loved how this was the backdrop to the story and added significantly to the events progressing as well.
The lesbianism is almost a footnote. We don't get to it until we are well into the novel. But when it does appear, it is very well done. The initial interactions, the growing fascination and the eventual development of their relationship all felt very organic. I loved that we were seeing the relationship mostly from Astha's side and how it changed and affected her. The eventual inevitable demise of the relationship was also handled perfectly. The whole episode paralleled similar real-life stories I've heard, but this was the first time I was seeing the married person's side of it.
The ending was perhaps a tad abrupt and very sad. I wanted to continue living with Astha. I can see how it is a fitting end to the novel though. It was almost as if Manju Kapur wanted to leave us with the same emotional upheaval that Astha has. A wonderful read!
March 24, 2021
Recently, a new web series showed up that was based off this, and I remembered that I had indeed read this book during my graduation.
I was a naive girl back then. More or less resigned to follow the 'graduate, get married & settle down with family (kids)' path as I had seen my seniors around me do. This book opened my eyes to what I'd suspected: a lot of people engage in the charade of a happy married life, without taking the time to develop their individualistic self... Choosing to be one half of a jigsaw puzzle than being a complete human being in their own right.
I won't say the author changed my life, but if I look back today, her work, this book in particular, encouraged me then, to find what made me ME rather than trying to fit into someone else's life & chase that elusive happily ever after. (11 years later and it seems easier to just give in and lead life as per society's dictum, but resist I must!)
P.S.: Bonus points for writing Astha and Peeplika’s relationship so tenderly, sprinkled heavily with both courage & grace! This book came out in 2002; realistic LGBTQ representation in that day & age is nothing short of a commendable job and definitely beehoves an additional star IMO.
I was a naive girl back then. More or less resigned to follow the 'graduate, get married & settle down with family (kids)' path as I had seen my seniors around me do. This book opened my eyes to what I'd suspected: a lot of people engage in the charade of a happy married life, without taking the time to develop their individualistic self... Choosing to be one half of a jigsaw puzzle than being a complete human being in their own right.
I won't say the author changed my life, but if I look back today, her work, this book in particular, encouraged me then, to find what made me ME rather than trying to fit into someone else's life & chase that elusive happily ever after. (11 years later and it seems easier to just give in and lead life as per society's dictum, but resist I must!)
P.S.: Bonus points for writing Astha and Peeplika’s relationship so tenderly, sprinkled heavily with both courage & grace! This book came out in 2002; realistic LGBTQ representation in that day & age is nothing short of a commendable job and definitely beehoves an additional star IMO.
February 25, 2011
I really enjoyed this book, however, it was a little sad. In 310 pages, you see Astha's life completely fall apart. She falls in love many times, but is disappointed in some way in all of them. The first one was just a crush, the second wasn't parent approved, the third lasted the longest but ultimately ended in unhappiness, and the fourth one wasn't necessarily society approved. Her relationship with Pipee was definitely the one filled with the most love, passion and desire, but because of where they were in each of their lives, it just wasn't going to work. I felt happy for Astha when she began being intimate with Pipee (it was completely unexpected, but she needed it) but knew that it wouldn't last. Someone who is married can't have an affair with someone who is not married, it will never work. I don't want that to sound like I approve of affairs, but in Astha's case, she felt no love in her marriage and divorce is heavily frowned upon. In the end, it was probably for the best that she doesn't fully pursue her intimacy with Pipee because of the life she had already established, but it was a nice release from her everyday, mundane and unhappy life.
January 22, 2022
Read to compare to the adaptation on streaming sites.
I am sure that the work was pathbreaking when it was published but the prose has not stood the test of time. The plot is not new but some stories never are, and yet they make you see a different perspective or a fresh composition to the problem. A Married Woman offered neither to me.
I am sure that the work was pathbreaking when it was published but the prose has not stood the test of time. The plot is not new but some stories never are, and yet they make you see a different perspective or a fresh composition to the problem. A Married Woman offered neither to me.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 18, 2024
5 stars 🌟
This was amazing. It's not the best book out there but it's such an important story that touched my heart. Highly recommend.
Review written on 18th November, 2024.
DISCLAIMER-All opinions on books I’ve read and reviewed are my own, and are with no intention to offend anyone. If you feel offended by my reviews, let me know how I can fix it.
How I Rate-
1 star- Hardly liked anything/was disappointed
2 star- Had potential but did not deliver/was disappointed
3 stars- Was ok but could have been better/was average/Enjoyed a lot but something was missing
4 stars- Loved a lot but something was missing
5 stars- Loved it/new favourite
This was amazing. It's not the best book out there but it's such an important story that touched my heart. Highly recommend.
Review written on 18th November, 2024.
DISCLAIMER-All opinions on books I’ve read and reviewed are my own, and are with no intention to offend anyone. If you feel offended by my reviews, let me know how I can fix it.
How I Rate-
1 star- Hardly liked anything/was disappointed
2 star- Had potential but did not deliver/was disappointed
3 stars- Was ok but could have been better/was average/Enjoyed a lot but something was missing
4 stars- Loved a lot but something was missing
5 stars- Loved it/new favourite
June 29, 2024
A stunning, deeply emotional portrait of the inner life of a woman who finds both herself and her country torn between tradition and modernity. It is a love story. A tragedy. A political history. A gender commentary. It was a moving experience to relate to the experiences I recognized, and to witness the events and feelings I found unfamiliar. This is a rich and layered literary novel that captures a deeply individual experience along with a rich snapshot of India in flux during the 80s and 90s. I’ll be thinking about this one for a long time.
March 20, 2025
omg the amount og times i've tried to write this review and it not saving will kill me istg. Anyways, I really liked how thought-provoking this book was. The social roles Astha is tethered to and is forced to compromise her wants and needs with felt all too relatable. However, I really liked how she never gave up on her values and began to stand up for herself, especially when it came to activism. Astha's romantic relationships made me feel sad as you could see how both people didn't really consider Astha's needs and the impact these social and gender roles have on her, forgetting that she is a whole person herself. Also I really appreciated the exploration into socioeconomic status, religion and societal events as these all have a huge impact on the societal expectations of a woman married into a "traditional" relationship. i really enjoyed it overall and if anyone else reads it let me know because I am vv willing to do a deep-dive.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 21, 2022
Can't believe I'm saying this but I definitely prefer the show based on this novel. The narrative seemed disconnected at times, and irrelevant. The relationships that were portrayed were thoroughly toxic and even if that was intended, it was simply an unwelcome surprise from my expectations starting this novel.
However it still had its moments, showing realistic moments of different kinds of relationships that felt real and true to the character.
However it still had its moments, showing realistic moments of different kinds of relationships that felt real and true to the character.
November 7, 2025
oh Astha, it never gets better. does it? you could've expected the harsh reality. I'll keep being sad for you forever 💔
March 21, 2009
This is the third novel by this author I have read, and although quite readable, it is the one I liked least. Although I often felt sorry for Astha and came to dislike her husband, I just didn't come to care enough for the characters. It is a well written engrossing story - so I can't say I disliked it, it just left me a little cold. The majority of the book tells the story of Astha's marriage. Astha is dominated - to an extent - by her husband - she has more freedoms than many women - and in her relationship with Pipee she again seems dominated by a stronger personality. Astha becomes political, and her passion for the cause inspires her art - but also heralds many of the problems she has at home. In some ways Astha is a different kind of woman than we are used to seeing in "Asian Lit" - and that does make her interesting, but in other ways she is conventional - a sad figure stuck inside a pretty staid marriage, slowly lettting go of everything that is important to her.
August 15, 2009
Oyo! /o\ I took a relatively long time to finish this because I got so stressed about Astha's awful marriage. It was like the beginning of The Blue Castle where Valancy is having a hell of a time and you hate her family's guts because they are so horrible. At least Kapur had the kindness to end her book at the same time as Astha's relationship with Pip, rather than forcing us to live out Astha's long miserable life. I hope it gets better later. I hope she earns sufficient money from her painting and eventually when her children have grown up she and her husband can kind of quietly drift apart and she can have a better life.
Anyway, I thought it was good!
Anyway, I thought it was good!
November 10, 2021
What a miserable book. I think the viewpoint of this book (and hopefully not the author but I saw nothing to disprove it) is perfectly summarized by the line of dialogue pronounced by the younger widow: “Women. So pathetic in their hunger for love.”
On a technical level, this was a poorly-written and boring story that tried and failed to treat any of the limited commentary it presents in a way that was not superficial and cliched. The men only want wives for sex and servitude, the women are obsessed with the object of their romantic love, everyone else is merely peripheral to the story, the religious tolerance subthread is simplistically academic. Worse, the women in the lesbian relationship behave like men do in romantic relationships with women.
On a technical level, this was a poorly-written and boring story that tried and failed to treat any of the limited commentary it presents in a way that was not superficial and cliched. The men only want wives for sex and servitude, the women are obsessed with the object of their romantic love, everyone else is merely peripheral to the story, the religious tolerance subthread is simplistically academic. Worse, the women in the lesbian relationship behave like men do in romantic relationships with women.
March 17, 2012
It's a nice book dealing with controversial issues in a very sensitive manner & exploring the hidden power play between a married couple in the Indian context. I had a major issue with the plot though... One does not suddenly realize that they are bi- sexual or attracted to the same sex... The book no where explores with the protagonist's history of this realization ( The protagonist is a married woman here). Same sex attraction does not develop because of lack of affection at your home front. Otherwise, it's a lovely book. I quite liked the way Babri Masjid issue has been explored and portrayed in the book.
June 15, 2017
While reading ‘A Married Woman’, I was awestruck with Manju Kapoor's sensitivity in dealing with inner turmoils and conflicts of a woman. The emotions she feels while growing up – the first flush of romance, the first stare of an unwelcome man, the total surrender to her lover and the frustrations of a married woman, who has seen it all and her desperation to trade her well settled life for an adventurous ride. Manju has deftly voiced the varied phases of a woman’s life in this novel. An engrossing read
December 19, 2016
was lovely to read.
an article i came across by the writer
http://qz.com/489499/a-mothers-grief-...
an article i came across by the writer
http://qz.com/489499/a-mothers-grief-...
August 6, 2024
2003, her second novel, after 'Difficult Daughters'
Good job giving us insight into the daily routines of a middle-class [or higher] Delhi family household.
Very good at showing the pressures and restrictions that a wife of this class lives under. -- Astha marries into her husband's family, they share a house [or apartments] with the young couple [and two children] living on one floor and the grandparents living on the floor above, and there are plenty of servants. Astha feels it is her parents in law, together with her husband, who make most of the decisions, about finances and housing, about the children's schooling and other activities [totally leaving Astha out of the discussion and decision-making process]. The mother in law is critical, though often in indirect ways, of activities that take Astha out of the house. It is easy to see how a wife could feel stifled and hemmed in this environment, which presumably is quite common in India.
The author does show some exceptions -- it is Astha's father who encourages his only child to pursue her education and her interest in art as well as to consider her own wishes as to marrying. [Contrary to Astha's husband who seems blind even to the possibility that Astha could have any wishes of her own that fall outside the duties of wife and mother.] [Astha's mother is eager to marry off Astha as quickly as possible, which is the universally accepted duty of the parents.]
And Astha's friend Pipee's mother is someone who does not follow traditional Indian views/customs for women/daughters, and gives her daughter free rein to pursue her own way in life, and supports her emotionally in this.
A theme throughout the book is the [historical] destruction of the large hilltop mosque Babri Masjid in Ayodhya, 7 December 1992. [This takes place near the end of the book.] Astha and an activist group she joins have been following this for many months [or years]; tension has been building for a long time. Although Astha and family are Hindus, she and the group encourage people to aim to live peacefully with those of other religions.
We are given a lot of instances of trouble being stirred up among Hindus, gov't action or inaction, police action or inaction. Astha's husband makes many negative comments about 'those Muslims', implying they are to blame. In other words, the book comes close to being a social and political analysis of what led up to the violence in Ayodhya; this is well done [although I can't say I could follow everything]. Pipee is studying these movements [for a PhD] and is a vehicle for a lot of the book's social and political analysis.
The author makes Astha a visual artist [painter of murals, drawings], and I often feel she is chronicling some of her own experiences as a writer. [e.g. finding herself thinking of her next art project during daily activities; longing for solitary time each day to work on her art]. Astha's friendship/relationship with Pipee, the widow of the activist Astha had admired, is part of the story. It's frustrating partly because Astha has many [family] obstacles to freeing up time to be with Pipee. In case the reader didn't realize a friendship between a single, unencumbered person and a married woman with children might be problematic, the book makes this abundantly clear. For me Astha's seemingly endless hand-wringing about not being able to spend enough time with Pipee is not enlightening.
260 Many individuals calling themselves spiritual [usually Hindu] leaders are going around the country making short stops in many towns and cities. One of their messages: 'India is our mother'. *Mother India's 'qualities are patience, tolerance, love, and resignation.'* This line made me sit up and take notice -- because in what world would any American say any of these were qualities of the United States, or what makes it 'great'?!?
Goodreader "P." and "Sidharthan" make very good points which I very much agree with, and a couple of other reviewers also.
I would have appreciated it if the author had been a little more helpful to non-Indian readers by giving slight hints as to the meaning of some Hindi words she throws in now and then. Probably they are difficult to translate [have no English equivalents], but I would have liked to know at least vaguely what they are about.
e.g. 258 'He allows them to have *darshan* of the vessels in which the water and the soil is kept.'
e.g. 293 'The whole area was cordoned off, lined with policemen, ready to *lathi* charge at any provocation.'
Good job giving us insight into the daily routines of a middle-class [or higher] Delhi family household.
Very good at showing the pressures and restrictions that a wife of this class lives under. -- Astha marries into her husband's family, they share a house [or apartments] with the young couple [and two children] living on one floor and the grandparents living on the floor above, and there are plenty of servants. Astha feels it is her parents in law, together with her husband, who make most of the decisions, about finances and housing, about the children's schooling and other activities [totally leaving Astha out of the discussion and decision-making process]. The mother in law is critical, though often in indirect ways, of activities that take Astha out of the house. It is easy to see how a wife could feel stifled and hemmed in this environment, which presumably is quite common in India.
The author does show some exceptions -- it is Astha's father who encourages his only child to pursue her education and her interest in art as well as to consider her own wishes as to marrying. [Contrary to Astha's husband who seems blind even to the possibility that Astha could have any wishes of her own that fall outside the duties of wife and mother.] [Astha's mother is eager to marry off Astha as quickly as possible, which is the universally accepted duty of the parents.]
And Astha's friend Pipee's mother is someone who does not follow traditional Indian views/customs for women/daughters, and gives her daughter free rein to pursue her own way in life, and supports her emotionally in this.
A theme throughout the book is the [historical] destruction of the large hilltop mosque Babri Masjid in Ayodhya, 7 December 1992. [This takes place near the end of the book.] Astha and an activist group she joins have been following this for many months [or years]; tension has been building for a long time. Although Astha and family are Hindus, she and the group encourage people to aim to live peacefully with those of other religions.
We are given a lot of instances of trouble being stirred up among Hindus, gov't action or inaction, police action or inaction. Astha's husband makes many negative comments about 'those Muslims', implying they are to blame. In other words, the book comes close to being a social and political analysis of what led up to the violence in Ayodhya; this is well done [although I can't say I could follow everything]. Pipee is studying these movements [for a PhD] and is a vehicle for a lot of the book's social and political analysis.
The author makes Astha a visual artist [painter of murals, drawings], and I often feel she is chronicling some of her own experiences as a writer. [e.g. finding herself thinking of her next art project during daily activities; longing for solitary time each day to work on her art]. Astha's friendship/relationship with Pipee, the widow of the activist Astha had admired, is part of the story. It's frustrating partly because Astha has many [family] obstacles to freeing up time to be with Pipee. In case the reader didn't realize a friendship between a single, unencumbered person and a married woman with children might be problematic, the book makes this abundantly clear. For me Astha's seemingly endless hand-wringing about not being able to spend enough time with Pipee is not enlightening.
260 Many individuals calling themselves spiritual [usually Hindu] leaders are going around the country making short stops in many towns and cities. One of their messages: 'India is our mother'. *Mother India's 'qualities are patience, tolerance, love, and resignation.'* This line made me sit up and take notice -- because in what world would any American say any of these were qualities of the United States, or what makes it 'great'?!?
Goodreader "P." and "Sidharthan" make very good points which I very much agree with, and a couple of other reviewers also.
I would have appreciated it if the author had been a little more helpful to non-Indian readers by giving slight hints as to the meaning of some Hindi words she throws in now and then. Probably they are difficult to translate [have no English equivalents], but I would have liked to know at least vaguely what they are about.
e.g. 258 'He allows them to have *darshan* of the vessels in which the water and the soil is kept.'
e.g. 293 'The whole area was cordoned off, lined with policemen, ready to *lathi* charge at any provocation.'
Read
April 2, 2025Book Review: A Married Woman: A Novel by Manju Kapur
Overview
Manju Kapur’s A Married Woman is a poignant exploration of the struggles and aspirations of women in contemporary Indian society. Set against the backdrop of a rapidly changing cultural landscape, the novel follows the life of Astha, a middle-class woman navigating the complexities of marriage, motherhood, and personal identity. Through Astha’s journey, Kapur deftly interrogates themes of desire, societal expectations, and the quest for autonomy, making this work a significant contribution to feminist literature.
Plot Summary
The narrative revolves around Astha, who appears to have the perfect life: a loving husband, children, and a comfortable home in Delhi. However, beneath this facade lies a deep sense of dissatisfaction and longing for a more fulfilling existence. The novel traces her evolution from a dutiful wife to a woman who begins to assert her desires and explore her identity outside the confines of traditional roles.
Astha’s relationships—especially with her husband and her lover—serve as crucial catalysts for her transformation. Through her affair with a passionate artist, Kapur contrasts the constraints of marital life with the liberating yet tumultuous experience of pursuing personal happiness. The story unfolds to reveal the societal pressures that bind women like Astha, forcing them to reconcile their desires with societal expectations.
Themes and Analysis
Feminine Identity and Autonomy: At the core of A Married Woman is the theme of self-discovery. Kapur examines how women often suppress their identities to fulfill societal roles. Astha’s journey towards self-actualization is marked by her struggle to balance familial duties and personal desires.
Societal Expectations: The novel critically analyzes the expectations placed on women in patriarchal society. Kapur highlights the internal conflicts that arise when a woman’s aspirations clash with her prescribed roles, illustrating the profound impact of these societal norms on mental health and personal freedom.
Love and Desire: Kapur effectively portrays the complexities of love and desire. The contrast between Astha’s conventional marriage and her passionate affair underscores the varying dimensions of love and the often painful choices women face in their pursuit of fulfillment.
Cultural Context: The setting of Delhi serves as a microcosm of broader societal shifts in India, where modernity and tradition often collide. Kapur skillfully incorporates elements of cultural change, reflecting on how these transformations shape individual lives and choices.
Writing Style
Kapur’s writing is characterized by its lyrical prose and keen psychological insight. She adeptly blends rich descriptions with emotionally charged narratives, allowing readers to connect deeply with Astha’s inner turmoil. The novel’s pacing, which alternates between moments of intense reflection and dramatic action, effectively engages the reader and enhances the thematic depth of the story.
Conclusion
A Married Woman by Manju Kapur is a compelling exploration of the struggles faced by women caught between societal expectations and personal aspirations. Through Astha’s journey, Kapur offers a nuanced critique of traditional gender roles while advocating for female empowerment and self-discovery. This novel is a significant addition to contemporary Indian literature and serves as a profound commentary on the evolving nature of women’s identities in a changing society. It is a must-read for those interested in feminist discourse, cultural studies, and the complexities of marital life in modern India.
Overview
Manju Kapur’s A Married Woman is a poignant exploration of the struggles and aspirations of women in contemporary Indian society. Set against the backdrop of a rapidly changing cultural landscape, the novel follows the life of Astha, a middle-class woman navigating the complexities of marriage, motherhood, and personal identity. Through Astha’s journey, Kapur deftly interrogates themes of desire, societal expectations, and the quest for autonomy, making this work a significant contribution to feminist literature.
Plot Summary
The narrative revolves around Astha, who appears to have the perfect life: a loving husband, children, and a comfortable home in Delhi. However, beneath this facade lies a deep sense of dissatisfaction and longing for a more fulfilling existence. The novel traces her evolution from a dutiful wife to a woman who begins to assert her desires and explore her identity outside the confines of traditional roles.
Astha’s relationships—especially with her husband and her lover—serve as crucial catalysts for her transformation. Through her affair with a passionate artist, Kapur contrasts the constraints of marital life with the liberating yet tumultuous experience of pursuing personal happiness. The story unfolds to reveal the societal pressures that bind women like Astha, forcing them to reconcile their desires with societal expectations.
Themes and Analysis
Feminine Identity and Autonomy: At the core of A Married Woman is the theme of self-discovery. Kapur examines how women often suppress their identities to fulfill societal roles. Astha’s journey towards self-actualization is marked by her struggle to balance familial duties and personal desires.
Societal Expectations: The novel critically analyzes the expectations placed on women in patriarchal society. Kapur highlights the internal conflicts that arise when a woman’s aspirations clash with her prescribed roles, illustrating the profound impact of these societal norms on mental health and personal freedom.
Love and Desire: Kapur effectively portrays the complexities of love and desire. The contrast between Astha’s conventional marriage and her passionate affair underscores the varying dimensions of love and the often painful choices women face in their pursuit of fulfillment.
Cultural Context: The setting of Delhi serves as a microcosm of broader societal shifts in India, where modernity and tradition often collide. Kapur skillfully incorporates elements of cultural change, reflecting on how these transformations shape individual lives and choices.
Writing Style
Kapur’s writing is characterized by its lyrical prose and keen psychological insight. She adeptly blends rich descriptions with emotionally charged narratives, allowing readers to connect deeply with Astha’s inner turmoil. The novel’s pacing, which alternates between moments of intense reflection and dramatic action, effectively engages the reader and enhances the thematic depth of the story.
Conclusion
A Married Woman by Manju Kapur is a compelling exploration of the struggles faced by women caught between societal expectations and personal aspirations. Through Astha’s journey, Kapur offers a nuanced critique of traditional gender roles while advocating for female empowerment and self-discovery. This novel is a significant addition to contemporary Indian literature and serves as a profound commentary on the evolving nature of women’s identities in a changing society. It is a must-read for those interested in feminist discourse, cultural studies, and the complexities of marital life in modern India.
January 30, 2021
Between Anuradha’s birth and Himanshu’s, Hemant changed from being an all-American father to being an all-Indian one. After he came home the last thing he wished to bother about was taking care of a child. ‘It’s your job‚’ he said. ‘That’s not what you thought when we had Anu‚’ replied his wife. ‘I can’t do everything myself. It’s tiring.’ It was also boring, though this was not acknowledged. ‘It’s woman’s work‚’ said Hemant firmly. ‘Hire somebody to help you, or quit your job.’‘This is our son, the one you wanted so much. It’s nice if we look after him together.’‘Send him up to Mummy if you can’t manage.’ Astha was struck dumb. Were Mummy and he interchangeable? ‘And‚’ continued Hemant, ‘my son is going to be very lucky for us.’‘Oh Hemant, how?’ asked Astha with an effort that wasn’t noticed. ‘Wait and see.’
‘How can you say that? Just the other day I spent the whole evening with you, I went home at twelve, I told endless lies—’‘Who asked you to tell lies? I didn’t. Don’t you see, Ant, I want an end to all this deception.’‘My whole life is a fabric of lies‚’said Astha sadly, ‘you are the one true thing I have.’‘And you don’t want to change it. That’s the trouble with married people‚’said Pipee gloomily, ‘there are always others involved. Why did I think with a woman it would be different?’
‘Going home, since you ask.’Pipee reached out and pulled her dupatta. ‘Don’t you get it? That I love you, I want you, I miss you?’‘What about your other friends and your work?’asked Astha in a small voice. ‘What about it? Work never kept one warm at night, and yes, I have friends, but they are not people I choose to be intimate with. Either I spend my time here moping, or I go out with them, talk, laugh, then come home to a flat which holds the moments I have had with you. It reminds me—’Here she paused, Astha looked tortured, and Pipee continued quickly, ‘whatever it is, I don’t wish to experience that kind of emptiness again. Sometimes I go crazy with longing, and I can’t even pick up the phone.’‘You can.’‘I can’t. I don’t want to hear your husband’s voice, I don’t want to put the phone down if he picks it up, I don’t want to share your life of lies.’Astha thought that if husband and wife are one person, then Pipee and she were even more so. She had shared parts of herself she had never shared before. She felt complete with her. But this was not the time to say these things. ‘I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be harsh‚’said Pipee contritely. ‘Leaving a marriage, even like yours, could not be easy. I do feel that away from that house and those people you will be able to lead a fuller life. You have so much in you, so much to give, but take your time. Whatever you do it’ll be all right.’
At last, Kanyakumari. The train to Madras took for ever, and from there a bus. Felt complete and peaceful the whole way; I think she felt the same. No wonder marriages start with going away, cutting off from the old, entering the new with a journey, just the two of you – even in an ocean of people – just the two of you. It seemed so wonderful, we kept looking at each other and smiling.
She goes to sleep, and I pass my hand over her breasts. At first it had seemed odd, after years of being made love to by a man, to have one’s breasts met by a similar pair, though larger. No wonder men like them so much. You can do much with a pair of breasts. These loose, hanging, swinging items, breasts, penis – objects of passion and anxiety. Stuff you can hold in your hands, squeeze, maul, make yours, like playing with clay – taking you back to your childhood.
She goes to sleep, and I pass my hand over her breasts. At first it had seemed odd, after years of being made love to by a man, to have one’s breasts met by a similar pair, though larger. No wonder men like them so much. You can do much with a pair of breasts. These loose, hanging, swinging items, breasts, penis – objects of passion and anxiety. Stuff you can hold in your hands, squeeze, maul, make yours, like playing with clay – taking you back to your childhood.
‘How long will you be away?’‘I don’t know yet.’‘I suppose you have to go?’asked Pipee a little hesitantly. Astha remained silent. If only she didn’t have to put her husband’s health over the companionship of her lover. But not going was like getting divorced, a public statement of difference and separation. ‘Look, it’s not working out‚’said Pipee suddenly. ‘What is not working out?’asked Astha desperately. ‘One should never have affairs with married people, they are the worst.’Astha looked at the face she had kissed lovingly and in such detail at least a thousand times, and said resentfully, ‘Why did you, then? You want to spoil what we have.’‘I had thought that with a woman it would be different—’‘So did I. With a woman—’
‘How can you say that? Just the other day I spent the whole evening with you, I went home at twelve, I told endless lies—’‘Who asked you to tell lies? I didn’t. Don’t you see, Ant, I want an end to all this deception.’‘My whole life is a fabric of lies‚’said Astha sadly, ‘you are the one true thing I have.’‘And you don’t want to change it. That’s the trouble with married people‚’said Pipee gloomily, ‘there are always others involved. Why did I think with a woman it would be different?’
‘Going home, since you ask.’Pipee reached out and pulled her dupatta. ‘Don’t you get it? That I love you, I want you, I miss you?’‘What about your other friends and your work?’asked Astha in a small voice. ‘What about it? Work never kept one warm at night, and yes, I have friends, but they are not people I choose to be intimate with. Either I spend my time here moping, or I go out with them, talk, laugh, then come home to a flat which holds the moments I have had with you. It reminds me—’Here she paused, Astha looked tortured, and Pipee continued quickly, ‘whatever it is, I don’t wish to experience that kind of emptiness again. Sometimes I go crazy with longing, and I can’t even pick up the phone.’‘You can.’‘I can’t. I don’t want to hear your husband’s voice, I don’t want to put the phone down if he picks it up, I don’t want to share your life of lies.’Astha thought that if husband and wife are one person, then Pipee and she were even more so. She had shared parts of herself she had never shared before. She felt complete with her. But this was not the time to say these things. ‘I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be harsh‚’said Pipee contritely. ‘Leaving a marriage, even like yours, could not be easy. I do feel that away from that house and those people you will be able to lead a fuller life. You have so much in you, so much to give, but take your time. Whatever you do it’ll be all right.’
At last, Kanyakumari. The train to Madras took for ever, and from there a bus. Felt complete and peaceful the whole way; I think she felt the same. No wonder marriages start with going away, cutting off from the old, entering the new with a journey, just the two of you – even in an ocean of people – just the two of you. It seemed so wonderful, we kept looking at each other and smiling.
She goes to sleep, and I pass my hand over her breasts. At first it had seemed odd, after years of being made love to by a man, to have one’s breasts met by a similar pair, though larger. No wonder men like them so much. You can do much with a pair of breasts. These loose, hanging, swinging items, breasts, penis – objects of passion and anxiety. Stuff you can hold in your hands, squeeze, maul, make yours, like playing with clay – taking you back to your childhood.
She goes to sleep, and I pass my hand over her breasts. At first it had seemed odd, after years of being made love to by a man, to have one’s breasts met by a similar pair, though larger. No wonder men like them so much. You can do much with a pair of breasts. These loose, hanging, swinging items, breasts, penis – objects of passion and anxiety. Stuff you can hold in your hands, squeeze, maul, make yours, like playing with clay – taking you back to your childhood.
‘How long will you be away?’‘I don’t know yet.’‘I suppose you have to go?’asked Pipee a little hesitantly. Astha remained silent. If only she didn’t have to put her husband’s health over the companionship of her lover. But not going was like getting divorced, a public statement of difference and separation. ‘Look, it’s not working out‚’said Pipee suddenly. ‘What is not working out?’asked Astha desperately. ‘One should never have affairs with married people, they are the worst.’Astha looked at the face she had kissed lovingly and in such detail at least a thousand times, and said resentfully, ‘Why did you, then? You want to spoil what we have.’‘I had thought that with a woman it would be different—’‘So did I. With a woman—’
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 28, 2021
I’ve actually struggled with what to write as review for this book because I was left with a “meh” feeling, not just at the end but almost the whole way through. Official reviews & author accolades indicated that story line & writing were everything I found them not to be. Enthralling, convincing, absorbing,deeply readable…NOT! Just “meh” 🤷🏻♀️
Usually for me, a main character garners some alliance or intrigue either willingly or unwillingly. This was impossible for me. I just found her pathetically self absorbed in every way. Perhaps it is the boring sad repeat of the same old “woe be me, trapped” female who tries to create some identity for herself outside of the family obligations she finds herself swamped by, or quite likely this in combination with my own ignorance of Indian history, particularly the tumultuous religious Muslim/Hindu elements.
I tired very quickly of looking up names of places & mosques & such in order to understand & visualise the wider context/backdrop that the author was clearly trying to shine a spotlight on. I feel a better written version would have brought all that alive a lot better & served to educate & perhaps plant a seed of interest for further study. I feel that you almost have to have this knowledge in order to properly enjoy the setting.
The story is divided into three unequal parts. The first is a drawn out unremarkable setting of the scene that covers the main character’s teen years & early marriage years. The teen years are seemingly shaped by a traditional mother & less conventional father. Education & independence being encouraged by her father & the cultural & familial duties of a female in Indian culture imposed by her mother. The husband less conventional to start with but as his own responsibilities increase, (for the provision of not only her & their children but also his parents, as it seems is culturally expected of the son of the household) there is I felt, understandably a sort of regression in his expectations of her to be more traditional in her role and yet he doesn’t actively prevent her from being independent. She has a lot of “rope” that she doesn’t even recognise & certainly doesn’t ever give anyone; herself, her husband, or the family, any credit for. She is so self absorbed that she can’t even recognise that he is as trapped as she is. Yes, he’s an arse but it was him that I felt sorry for, not her.
The second part is a more abridged but more than sufficient introduction of “the other woman”. If only the first part had been as succinct I wouldn’t have wasted so much time persevering through boredom.
The third part covers the love story element. This too ended up being more drawn out & a bit repetitive in the toing & froing between family & illicit affair.
I think I am more in a phase of wanting to be entertained by stories at the moment than reading yet more life struggle style books. Life is a struggle for so many people in the world (even privileged folk who want for nothing seem to find something that is a toil, a bit like the main character in this book) that at the moment, for me, the point of reading is to escape into a fantasy world where good triumphs evil, the underdog (& not necessarily a female or member of the LGBT community or some religiously or racially suppressed individual or group) rises, & for a while the real world is left behind.
Usually for me, a main character garners some alliance or intrigue either willingly or unwillingly. This was impossible for me. I just found her pathetically self absorbed in every way. Perhaps it is the boring sad repeat of the same old “woe be me, trapped” female who tries to create some identity for herself outside of the family obligations she finds herself swamped by, or quite likely this in combination with my own ignorance of Indian history, particularly the tumultuous religious Muslim/Hindu elements.
I tired very quickly of looking up names of places & mosques & such in order to understand & visualise the wider context/backdrop that the author was clearly trying to shine a spotlight on. I feel a better written version would have brought all that alive a lot better & served to educate & perhaps plant a seed of interest for further study. I feel that you almost have to have this knowledge in order to properly enjoy the setting.
The story is divided into three unequal parts. The first is a drawn out unremarkable setting of the scene that covers the main character’s teen years & early marriage years. The teen years are seemingly shaped by a traditional mother & less conventional father. Education & independence being encouraged by her father & the cultural & familial duties of a female in Indian culture imposed by her mother. The husband less conventional to start with but as his own responsibilities increase, (for the provision of not only her & their children but also his parents, as it seems is culturally expected of the son of the household) there is I felt, understandably a sort of regression in his expectations of her to be more traditional in her role and yet he doesn’t actively prevent her from being independent. She has a lot of “rope” that she doesn’t even recognise & certainly doesn’t ever give anyone; herself, her husband, or the family, any credit for. She is so self absorbed that she can’t even recognise that he is as trapped as she is. Yes, he’s an arse but it was him that I felt sorry for, not her.
The second part is a more abridged but more than sufficient introduction of “the other woman”. If only the first part had been as succinct I wouldn’t have wasted so much time persevering through boredom.
The third part covers the love story element. This too ended up being more drawn out & a bit repetitive in the toing & froing between family & illicit affair.
I think I am more in a phase of wanting to be entertained by stories at the moment than reading yet more life struggle style books. Life is a struggle for so many people in the world (even privileged folk who want for nothing seem to find something that is a toil, a bit like the main character in this book) that at the moment, for me, the point of reading is to escape into a fantasy world where good triumphs evil, the underdog (& not necessarily a female or member of the LGBT community or some religiously or racially suppressed individual or group) rises, & for a while the real world is left behind.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 7, 2023
Recently I have watched the Web series and decided to have a taste of this book and good God I loved it. Reading this book felt like attending a family gathering where the drama unfolds with every turn of the page. Our main character Astha could be any middle-class woman from anywhere in Indian Sub Continent who’s got her life seemingly sorted with a husband, kids and in-laws, yet there’s a restlessness brewing inside her like a pressure cooker waiting to whistle.
Astha’s life is loaded with familial duties and societal expectations, much like the lives of my aunts and older cousins who often shared their dreams and disappointments during family gatherings. But there is always a void inside them. They longed for just a little bit of affection and appreciation. But there was none. The book’s portrayal of these struggles of a woman in a traditional Indian household felt like revisiting those conversations.
Manju’s writing isn’t the fireworks, but it’s the steady glow of the candle that keeps you engaged. She builds the characters with the care of a mother plaiting her daughter’s hair ensuring every strand is in place. The depiction of Astha’s family’s struggles, like buying their first house or defining a woman’s role is as familiar as the neighborhood aunty’s gossip. Astha’s leap into activism over the Babri Masjid issue and the death of her Crush Aka Love interest is where the plot thickens. She meets Pipee, and their friendship evolves into a love that’s as unexpected as finding a 500 Taka note inside the pocket of my old pants. The rest of the book deals with Astha’s balancing act between her love for Pipee and her duties as a married woman..
The intimate scenes are handled with the sensitivity of a mother explaining the birds and the bees to her curious child, while the political backdrop adds a bittersweet flavor to the story. Pipee, though, sometimes seems as self-centered as a cat in a sunspot and Hemant, Astha’s husband is as realistically flawed as a Bollywood hero. Astha didn’t undergo any major character arc throughout this book. Her relationship with Pipee was equally as toxic as her relationship with Hemant. She was still submissive and tried her hardest to please each and every person in her life despite the toll it took on her.
The switch from third-person to first-person narrative in times was not really convincing either. But overall, the book is a decent read, not a masterpiece, but it’s like a cup of coffee– comforting, a little strong and leaves you pondering long after you’ve finished it.
Astha’s life is loaded with familial duties and societal expectations, much like the lives of my aunts and older cousins who often shared their dreams and disappointments during family gatherings. But there is always a void inside them. They longed for just a little bit of affection and appreciation. But there was none. The book’s portrayal of these struggles of a woman in a traditional Indian household felt like revisiting those conversations.
Manju’s writing isn’t the fireworks, but it’s the steady glow of the candle that keeps you engaged. She builds the characters with the care of a mother plaiting her daughter’s hair ensuring every strand is in place. The depiction of Astha’s family’s struggles, like buying their first house or defining a woman’s role is as familiar as the neighborhood aunty’s gossip. Astha’s leap into activism over the Babri Masjid issue and the death of her Crush Aka Love interest is where the plot thickens. She meets Pipee, and their friendship evolves into a love that’s as unexpected as finding a 500 Taka note inside the pocket of my old pants. The rest of the book deals with Astha’s balancing act between her love for Pipee and her duties as a married woman..
The intimate scenes are handled with the sensitivity of a mother explaining the birds and the bees to her curious child, while the political backdrop adds a bittersweet flavor to the story. Pipee, though, sometimes seems as self-centered as a cat in a sunspot and Hemant, Astha’s husband is as realistically flawed as a Bollywood hero. Astha didn’t undergo any major character arc throughout this book. Her relationship with Pipee was equally as toxic as her relationship with Hemant. She was still submissive and tried her hardest to please each and every person in her life despite the toll it took on her.
The switch from third-person to first-person narrative in times was not really convincing either. But overall, the book is a decent read, not a masterpiece, but it’s like a cup of coffee– comforting, a little strong and leaves you pondering long after you’ve finished it.
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