Peppermint Mocha Kisses stars Randy Miller, a web designer and cookie chef, and Eli Canton. This is told in first person from both Randy and Eli’s povs.
This is a chirpy, bouncy, fluffy, super-sugar-sweet story. It revolves around thinking about cookies and making cookies. Almost everything revolves around cookies. Don’t expect any sex in this book, because there isn’t any. All Randy and Eli do is kiss. Reading the blurb, I got the impression this was an adult M/M. Instead, it strikes me as more of a Y/A or N/A even though the men are in their early twenties. It wasn’t just because of the lack of sex; it was in the style of writing. It was like a girl’s romance story I would’ve read in junior or senior high. I don’t remember reading another book by this author before, so I don’t know if this is their normal style of writing, or specifically for this story because they wanted to write a fluffy book. Whatever the reason, it didn’t work for me. The writing was simplistic and almost all dialogue. Many books I’ve read have more monologue than dialogue, which comes across as telling. I don’t know if the author was trying to avoid that problem, but this book is almost ninety percent dialogue, and that dialogue is highly repetitive. I don’t remember ever reading a book with so much dialogue before.
When I read, I see many issues that I think most reviewers don’t care about or notice. For instance, as I mentioned the dialogue, it was stilted, awkward, planned, and repetitive. Just from Randy’s pov, I can point out numerous conversations that were repeated with just different wording. Here are examples, paraphrased, on topics Randy ruminated about throughout the story:
1) I don’t know why I’m hesitant to start a business, just that I am.
2) I have to beat Eli in the cookie gift-away.
3) No one likes my cookies. They won’t buy my cookies if I make a shop.
4) Eli isn’t anything like I expected. How could I have misjudged him?
5) I don’t know why I didn’t like Eli, he’s so nice.
6) Eli, you’d really help me? I don’t know why you would.
7) I don’t deserve your help, Eli. I wasn’t very nice to you.
8) I can’t tell anyone that Eli and I are seeing each other even though they suspect.
9) I don’t know why I can’t tell anyone Eli and I are seeing each other.
10) I’m so surprised everyone likes my cookies.
Anyway, those are just the ten repetitive dialogue topics Randy keeps repeating, and Eli repeatedly reassures Randy that everyone loves his cookies. I’m going to have to be honest, the repetitive dialogue, the simplistic writing style, and the lack of any real conflict, bored me. I had to push myself to finish this book by reading one chapter, putting it down, and then coming back after an hour or two to read another chapter. This story would’ve been much better cut by fifty percent and all the repetitive dialogue deleted. There was another unusual dialogue technique that was used, I don’t think I’ve seen it before. It was what I can only call ‘affirmation’. Paraphrasing again, it went something like this:
Randy: Do you mean you’d really help me, Eli? I can’t believe it. I can’t ask you to help me.
Eli: Of course I’ll help you, Randy, Why can’t you believe I’d help you? Of course, you can ask me to help you. That’s what friends are for.
Can you see how that dialogue played out? Eli’s responses were an exact repeat of Randy’s questions making the whole conversation sound stilted. It’s not how a casual, normal conversation would go. It reminds me of writing from a children’s or young adult book. Like I mentioned before though, this might have been the author’s intention, to write a very fluffy, N/A book.
As to Randy and Eli, Randy was the insecure person, and Eli, was what I’d call a ‘Marty Stu’, the perfect boyfriend and person. Eli didn’t seem to have any flaws. I did have a problem with their voices, they were exactly the same. The only way to tell them apart, was the designations per chapter with the character name, and when Randy’s internal monologue expressed insecurity about his cookies. Too many times I had to stop and go back to the beginning of the chapter to find out whose pov I was reading. However, the author did have me believing in Eli and Randy as a couple.
Overall, I don’t think Peppermint Mocha Kisses was written for me as the target reader. Many other reviewers liked it, so your mileage may vary. I wasn’t expecting a Y/A or N/A story that was written almost completely in highly repetitive dialogue with absolutely no conflict, and which I struggled to finish reading. I can only give this story, 2 Stars
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.