How to be a Real Person

by Sally Warner

The Barnes & Noble Review
At first glance, Sally Warner's How to Be a Real Person (in Just One Day) may appear to be a casual observational diary of an average prepubescent girl. But after reading 11-year-old Kara's first list, "How to Get Ready for School," the reader is well aware that this book is anything but ordinary. Kara lives her life quietly, almost on an hourly basis. Creating lists for every part of her day helps this troubled and lonely girl help feel more real. Essentially, that is the goal of the whole book and her whole life. If she follows rules and lists and observes all the real people around her, she can forget the so-called reality that prevails in her house. Her mother is sick and has been sick her whole life. She suffers from depression, and when her mom doesn't take her meds, or they simply don't work, Kara is left to pick up the pieces. For Kara, there were good times when she was younger, but now those moments are few and far between.

And Kara has a secret -- all of this has gotten worse. But ever since her father moved out, she doesn't want to expose the horror of her life to anybody. Not even her friend, Stephanie. Kara's home life doesn't really allow for more than one friend's concerns or requests to come over to Kara's house after school. The list of excuses are better used on one person. Her troubling home life affects Kara in every way, including school. She includes a list for "How to Avoid a Family Conference". Trying to allay the worries of her teacher, she claims her phone is not working, or her parents are out on business. But all of Kara's attempts to hide her mother's growing depression are shattered when a fluke visit to Stephanie's house results in a fog of cops, her father, and Stephanie's family at Kara's house.

Throughout the book, Kara often refers to the character of Karana in Island of the Blue Dolphins. Kara feels she has been stranded on a lonely island of her own. When things get crazy in her life, she retreats there and all is good. Warner does an amazing job of relating Kara's denial of her mom's depression as well as her loss of hope. Kara is desperate and aged beyond her 11 years and the reader is anxious to see someone save her -- or save herself. A wonderfully insightful and detailed look at the life of one girl, and how reality is in the eye of the beholder. (Amy Barkat)

Genres: Young Adult, Fiction

128 pages, Library Binding

First published February 13, 2001

About the author

Sally Warner is a writer of fiction for children and young adults and of books on creativity. She made the Lily series and Emma series for children's books. Sally Warner was born in New York City and grew up in Connecticut and California, where her family moved when she was eight years old.

Reviews

[Suzette · Rating 5 out of 5]

about a middle school student living with a mentally ill parent. great insight and a great voice.

[Juan Manuel · Rating 5 out of 5]

La verdad no recuerdo de cuando lo leí, si el año pasado o este, pero es un libro que me encantó por completo, lo amé. Recuerdo que lo leí en un día.

[lulun · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.8

lo leí por primera vez hace más de diez años, obligada por el cole, y ahora lo he vuelto a leer, por voluntad propia. ni cagando entendí la profundidad del libro ni el tema de salud mental a los ocho años (btw: profesora, por qué este libro a los ochoo????????), pero algo me habrá quedado que me hizo querer releerlo. ahora soy capaz de empatizar con kara, la protagonista. me hace querer abrazarla por haber soportado (y por tanto tiempo que mierda) una carga que no era suya, de verdad que es muy fuerte

tmb me pregunto si mi profesora se imaginará que alguno de los 8 niños a los que obligó e insistió tanto en leer este libro, estaría años después descubriendo que en realidad sí es una muy buena lectura (tqm mi profe)

[Nicole]

Es increíble que todo haya pasado en un solo día

[Aerín · Rating 5 out of 5]

amo mucho este libro porque me idenfico tanto con Kara :c

[Tami · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kara is 12 years old. Her father left two months ago and her mother is clinically depressed and her condition has been worsening significantly since her father moved out. Kara has seen her mother ride the wave that is clinically-diagnosed depression her whole life. She is convinced if she can just hold things together until her mom hits the "upswing" again, they'll be okay. She is afraid that if someone outside the house finds out her mother is on the downside of the spectrum then everything will fall apart.

Of course, for Kara, it already feels like everything is falling apart. She loves her mother and yet resents feeling the need to take care of her. She loves her father, but is furious with him for leaving her and her mother in this situation. She is feeling like she's watching herself walk and talk without actually being connected to herself in a way that would make her feel REAL--like everyone else.

The majority of the narrative happens over the course of a single day. In the day we see the machinations Kara goes through to keep the secret that her security, her very sense of self is crumbling. Kara's desperation and longing radiate from the pages and, to the author's credit, everything does not suddenly "get better" when her father, a teacher and a friend do intervene in her circumstances. I particularly like Kara's insights into her own behavior when she is able to step away and look at it. Her observations about how her own behavior became somewhat irrational when in the midst of such a hugely unreasonable situation are an important piece of her ability to look forward with hope and confidence in herself and her own reality.

[Andres Mosquera Salazar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Este libro nos habla de la crisis existencial que vive una niña de 11 años. Me ha gustado el libro porque, de alguna manera, entiendo los comportamientos de este personaje.

En este libro se puede ver claramente varios de los comportamientos errados de siempre en el ser humano, por ejemplo: la escotosis (mentira existencial) del personaje principal, esta niña también mentía mucho, manipulaba. Por otro lado, resulta interesante ver cómo muchos de sus comportamientos errados tienen, en el fondo, un fin bueno; aun así me parece ideal que buscar ayuda se muestra como la verdadera solución a los problemas, al contrario de la autosuficiencia.

Este libro nos puede ayudar a identificar ciertos malos hábitos que tenemos cuando nos aproximamos a otras personas, por ejemplo: mentir. Muchas veces con el afán de dar una imagen de que todo está bien terminamos haciéndonos daño, permitiendo que el "qué pensarán" gobierne nuestra voluntad.

Este libro es muy corto, incluso tiene muchas imágenes; pero la trama es tan buena que no puedes dejar de leer. Lo recomiendo.

[Sandra Strange · Rating 3 out of 5]

Though the cover illustration makes her look older, this is the story of a 6th grader, so most secondary readers wouldn’t really consider it. The girl’s parents are split by the dad’s employment several hundred miles away. The mother is mentally ill, and the girl must deal with the illness, as well as her own attempts to have friends, and survive. I didn’t read the middle of this, but it seemed safe. Positive ending

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Picked up the book during an ill-timed storm. Read it in about 6 hours with liberal breaks throughout. Not sure how I feel about the book, it was a super easy read and I really liked Kara. I always find books on mental illness to be an important part of the literary field, I am just not certain Warner developed that portion and the guilt Kara felt related to it well enough for her audience.

[Abby · Rating 3 out of 5]

good book...sad though. if you like the book 'island of the blue dolphins', i wuold tell you to read this.

[Nam · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a holiday book. Was ok from a 2ndto3rd grade point of view. Eh.

[Melissa Ramírez cotes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Aunque lo parezca (por el nombre) NO es un libro de autoayuda. No me sorprende que el libro no tenga ninguna calificación de una estrella, ya que es realmente bueno.

[Sara Sadeghi · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book is very good. it tell of sadness and the other side. i recommend it to everyone.