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The Sacrament of Love: The Nuptial Mystery in the Light of the Orthodox Tradition
For Paul Evdokimov, the conjugal union of man and woman in marriage is an image of God in Trinity a relationship of persons united in love, thus realizing their one nature. But, since the Fall, only Christ can truly reconcile man and woman and bring about the harmony of Eros and the person. The sacrament of marriage regulates the communion between man and wife in all its sacramental fullness. True love is fruitful, but this fruitfulness is not only expressed through children; in can also be manifested through hospitality, through service, and sometimes through a common creation. The Sacrament of Love is a unique reflection on marriage, as well as on monastic and non-monastic celibacy. It places the relationship of man and woman within the context of the most perfect relationship of the Trinitarian communion of the Divine Persons.
192 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1982
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226 people want to read
About the author
Paul Evdokimov
25 books29 followersPaul Nikolaevich Evdokimov (rus. Павел Николаевич Евдокимов) was a Russian and French theologian, writer, and professor of theology at St. Sergius Institute in Paris. He was an invited observer to the Second Vatican Council.
He was born in St. Petersburg, Russia on August 2, 1901, the son of an army officer who was assassinated by one of his soldiers in 1905. He was educated in a military school and served in the cavalry. He began theological studies just prior to the Bolshevik Revolution. Following the revolution, he and his family escaped from Crimea through Constantinople and settled in Paris circa 1923. Evdokimov continued his theological studies at St. Sergius Institute, studying with Fr. Sergius Bulgakov and Nikolai Berdyaev. He was among the founding members of the Russian Christian Student Movement.
He married Natasha Brunel in 1927, who died of cancer during the latter part of World War II. In 1942, he completed his doctorate in philosophy at Aix-en-Provence.
During the War, Evdokimov worked with the French Resistance. In 1954, he married Tomoko Sakai, a daughter of a Japanese Diplomat.
He reposed in Meudon, France, on September 16, 1970.
He was born in St. Petersburg, Russia on August 2, 1901, the son of an army officer who was assassinated by one of his soldiers in 1905. He was educated in a military school and served in the cavalry. He began theological studies just prior to the Bolshevik Revolution. Following the revolution, he and his family escaped from Crimea through Constantinople and settled in Paris circa 1923. Evdokimov continued his theological studies at St. Sergius Institute, studying with Fr. Sergius Bulgakov and Nikolai Berdyaev. He was among the founding members of the Russian Christian Student Movement.
He married Natasha Brunel in 1927, who died of cancer during the latter part of World War II. In 1942, he completed his doctorate in philosophy at Aix-en-Provence.
During the War, Evdokimov worked with the French Resistance. In 1954, he married Tomoko Sakai, a daughter of a Japanese Diplomat.
He reposed in Meudon, France, on September 16, 1970.
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
January 18, 2021
,,Maternitatea este o formă particulară a chenozei feminine. Mama se dăruiește copilului său, moare parțial pentru el, urmând iubirii lui Dumnezeu care se smerește și pogoară, repetând într-un fel cuvântul Sf. Ioan Botezătorul: Acela trebuie să crească, iar eu să mă micșorez. Sacrificiul mamei îndură sabia de care vorbește Simeon. În această jertfire, fiecare mamă se apleacă asupra lui Hristos răstignit."
June 13, 2024
Evdokimov, boborule! Pentru că el scrie despre ortodoxia în care cred cu toată ființa mea și aș vrea să îl pot citi oricărui om adolescentin care nu înțelege credința din cauza formei sale instituționalizate, pentru că acest teolog are curajul să afirme cum anumite figuri bisericești (preoți, călugări) pot cauza un rău adânc prin ceea ce afirmă, privind (mai ales!), iubirea, căsătoria, erosul și rolul femeii. Morala e inoperantă chiar și în teologia morală.
May 23, 2023
"Ca să te lași iubit de altul trebuie să te lepezi deplin de tine însuți."
"Prin cuvântul: Dacă voiești să fii desăvârșit, vinde averea ta, călugării înțelegeau: vinde ceea ce ești. Aceasta este jertfirea totală a propriei ființe. După ce ai dat tot ce ai, dă tot ce ești."
"Arta marilor părinți duhovnicești ne învață: nu trebuie să fii ce ai, să-ți pui sinele in avuția ta, ci trebuie să ai ceea ce ești, să reduci toată averea la propria ființă. Să treci mereu de la a avea la a fi."
"Prin cuvântul: Dacă voiești să fii desăvârșit, vinde averea ta, călugării înțelegeau: vinde ceea ce ești. Aceasta este jertfirea totală a propriei ființe. După ce ai dat tot ce ai, dă tot ce ești."
"Arta marilor părinți duhovnicești ne învață: nu trebuie să fii ce ai, să-ți pui sinele in avuția ta, ci trebuie să ai ceea ce ești, să reduci toată averea la propria ființă. Să treci mereu de la a avea la a fi."
April 14, 2014
This is the best book i've read on marriage. I can understand that it frustrates some because it is written in a somewhat poetic/meandering style. One senses that it's either poorly translated or pooly edited or both. But that doesn't change the fact that its content is deep and it's more an exploration of the nature of or meaning of marriage rather than one of these banal rule books for love and marriage that are all too common. It's worth the work.
February 23, 2025
Hard to say that I’ll ever be truly done with this book. 🤍
Evdokimov’s philosophy is refreshing and seems balanced and separate from that of Jermome’s and Augustine and the traditional Catholic and Puritan views of marital union. His views and explanation of marriage is exquisite! Reminding of the calling to the Royal Priesthood of all believers whether monks or married, men or women.
In the chapter on anthropology, his views on salvation coming through women, and by writing so much about elevating women to high-esteem, he seems to (unnecessarily) downgrade the need for men and (more dangerously) the role and capabilities of men. I can see the latter being misunderstood and misused for planned/learned helplessness. Maybe Evdokimov didn’t mean it that way, and maybe I misunderstood. But, oh Lord, if I understand him correctly, it would be a travesty. We really don’t need more 1990s-style empowerment of women that must step down on men in order for “her” to shine. I already know of one person, a man, who quotes Evdokimov’s book as evidence that women are indeed better and smarter and more integrated in the symphony of creation compared with men who, in this person’s narrative, are naturally “stupid” creatures who follow their instincts and are incapable of serving or nurturing others without stepping outside of their “natural ways”………. I know he’s twisting Evdokimov’s words. It’s just sad to see an almost GREAT book be misused in that way due to bad language.
Evdokimov also jumps around so much and it is mental labor to keep up with him (especially in the anthropology chapters). Sometimes he leaves off from a line of thought too early for my liking. Were he alive I would be writing to him with more questions, but alas. He writes so beautifully and poetically, and sometimes in the poetry I worry that he sneaks his own opinions and prejudices… which is natural and human, but as in everything, we must read on, armed with discernment and softened to anecdotal experience as a real source of knowledge.
Beautiful long sentences translated from the original French. What an adventure! A book to redeem and change world views. 🤍
Evdokimov’s philosophy is refreshing and seems balanced and separate from that of Jermome’s and Augustine and the traditional Catholic and Puritan views of marital union. His views and explanation of marriage is exquisite! Reminding of the calling to the Royal Priesthood of all believers whether monks or married, men or women.
In the chapter on anthropology, his views on salvation coming through women, and by writing so much about elevating women to high-esteem, he seems to (unnecessarily) downgrade the need for men and (more dangerously) the role and capabilities of men. I can see the latter being misunderstood and misused for planned/learned helplessness. Maybe Evdokimov didn’t mean it that way, and maybe I misunderstood. But, oh Lord, if I understand him correctly, it would be a travesty. We really don’t need more 1990s-style empowerment of women that must step down on men in order for “her” to shine. I already know of one person, a man, who quotes Evdokimov’s book as evidence that women are indeed better and smarter and more integrated in the symphony of creation compared with men who, in this person’s narrative, are naturally “stupid” creatures who follow their instincts and are incapable of serving or nurturing others without stepping outside of their “natural ways”………. I know he’s twisting Evdokimov’s words. It’s just sad to see an almost GREAT book be misused in that way due to bad language.
Evdokimov also jumps around so much and it is mental labor to keep up with him (especially in the anthropology chapters). Sometimes he leaves off from a line of thought too early for my liking. Were he alive I would be writing to him with more questions, but alas. He writes so beautifully and poetically, and sometimes in the poetry I worry that he sneaks his own opinions and prejudices… which is natural and human, but as in everything, we must read on, armed with discernment and softened to anecdotal experience as a real source of knowledge.
Beautiful long sentences translated from the original French. What an adventure! A book to redeem and change world views. 🤍
December 14, 2015
The Sacrament of Love by Paul Evdokimov. Publisher: St Vladimir’s Seminary Press (October 25, 2011). Paperback, 192 pages
The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis, Audible Audio Edition. Publisher: Thomas Nelson, Inc. Release date: January 28, 2005.
Of these two “owner’s manuals for love and marriage,” The Four Loves is the most practical and accessible. Lewis sees four types of human love: 1) Storge (Gk: στοργή), the bonds of parent/child, bloodline, and tribe. 2) Philia (Gk: φιλία), the rare love between true friends with shared interests and personal compatibility. 3) Eros (Gk: ἔρως), a bond at once romantic and erotic, but more than raw sexuality. However, Lewis finds these three loves to be incomplete, each containing the seed of its own undoing:
"We may give our human loves the unconditional allegiance which we owe only to God. Then they become gods: then they become demons. Then they will destroy us, and also destroy themselves. For natural loves that are allowed to become gods do not remain loves. They are still called so, but can become in fact complicated forms of hatred.”
The “natural loves” can all fail us if they remain untransformed by the fourth love, Agape (Gk: ἀγάπη), the love that endures and forgives regardless of changing circumstances, a love ever expanding and deepening. Lewis sees agape as a specifically Christian virtue, being exemplified by the unconditional love of God.
“But Divine Gift-love in the man enables him to love what is not naturally lovable; lepers, criminals, enemies, morons, the sulky, the superior and the sneering.”
Evdokimov’s The Sacrament of Love take the theme of transformation-through-agape to an altogether deeper level. He produces a challenging and deep examination of the synthesis of Eros and Agape and their role in the deification of man and woman. Evdokimov demonstrates how the love of Christ for His Church illumines and conflates the vocations of both the monastic and the married. His vision of Christianity’s radical equality (and necessity) of the sexes within creation and the God-given root of proper gender roles forms the basis for a transformative “Nuptial Priesthood.”
"The time has come to assert the fullness of matrimony, its state of grace … The true monk will rejoice in this, for he, more than anyone else, is able to discern the real value of marriage. Its path is narrow, perhaps the most narrow of all, since there are two that walk upon it." (70)
How beautiful are these visions of man, woman, and God together. How needful it is for the world to see these glories lived out within the apostolic Christian community.
Paul Evdokimov (1901-1970) was a professor of Orthodox theology Orthodox at the Saint Sergius Institute in Paris.
C.S. Lewis (1898-1963) was a British writer, Christian apologist, and academic who held positions at both Oxford and Cambridge. He is best known for his fictional work, especially The Screwtape Letters, and The Chronicles of Narnia, and his non-fiction Christian apologetics, such as Mere Christianity, Miracles, and The Problem of Pain.
The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis, Audible Audio Edition. Publisher: Thomas Nelson, Inc. Release date: January 28, 2005.
Of these two “owner’s manuals for love and marriage,” The Four Loves is the most practical and accessible. Lewis sees four types of human love: 1) Storge (Gk: στοργή), the bonds of parent/child, bloodline, and tribe. 2) Philia (Gk: φιλία), the rare love between true friends with shared interests and personal compatibility. 3) Eros (Gk: ἔρως), a bond at once romantic and erotic, but more than raw sexuality. However, Lewis finds these three loves to be incomplete, each containing the seed of its own undoing:
"We may give our human loves the unconditional allegiance which we owe only to God. Then they become gods: then they become demons. Then they will destroy us, and also destroy themselves. For natural loves that are allowed to become gods do not remain loves. They are still called so, but can become in fact complicated forms of hatred.”
The “natural loves” can all fail us if they remain untransformed by the fourth love, Agape (Gk: ἀγάπη), the love that endures and forgives regardless of changing circumstances, a love ever expanding and deepening. Lewis sees agape as a specifically Christian virtue, being exemplified by the unconditional love of God.
“But Divine Gift-love in the man enables him to love what is not naturally lovable; lepers, criminals, enemies, morons, the sulky, the superior and the sneering.”
Evdokimov’s The Sacrament of Love take the theme of transformation-through-agape to an altogether deeper level. He produces a challenging and deep examination of the synthesis of Eros and Agape and their role in the deification of man and woman. Evdokimov demonstrates how the love of Christ for His Church illumines and conflates the vocations of both the monastic and the married. His vision of Christianity’s radical equality (and necessity) of the sexes within creation and the God-given root of proper gender roles forms the basis for a transformative “Nuptial Priesthood.”
"The time has come to assert the fullness of matrimony, its state of grace … The true monk will rejoice in this, for he, more than anyone else, is able to discern the real value of marriage. Its path is narrow, perhaps the most narrow of all, since there are two that walk upon it." (70)
How beautiful are these visions of man, woman, and God together. How needful it is for the world to see these glories lived out within the apostolic Christian community.
Paul Evdokimov (1901-1970) was a professor of Orthodox theology Orthodox at the Saint Sergius Institute in Paris.
C.S. Lewis (1898-1963) was a British writer, Christian apologist, and academic who held positions at both Oxford and Cambridge. He is best known for his fictional work, especially The Screwtape Letters, and The Chronicles of Narnia, and his non-fiction Christian apologetics, such as Mere Christianity, Miracles, and The Problem of Pain.
December 29, 2015
In The Sacrament of Love (this title was created by St John Chrysostom, one of the few Church Fathers whose pastoral concerns and scriptural sense led to a valuation of human love), Paul Evdokimov bases his thesis on the two accounts of the creation of man and woman in Genesis—accounts that Christ draws together in order to show simultaneously in the couple unity and otherness. To borrow from a profound Jewish exegesis, God created the human {ha adarri) male and female. Taking not a rib, but a half of this reality still not fully differentiated, He places the woman facing the man. This is the discovery of another person who is nonetheless consubstantial to me ("bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh”). The theological correspondences are obvious, and Evdokimov has no trouble bringing them to light: the mystery of the Trinity, the inaccessible God who makes Himself accessible. In its original fullness, human love reflects the Communion of the Trinity; the otherness of God is the foundation for the otherness of the other, and His grace is the basis for the encounter.
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May 15, 2021Evdokimov’s The Sacrament of Love takes the theme of transformation-through-agape to an altogether deeper level. He produces a challenging and deep examination of the synthesis of Eros and Agape and their role in the deification of man and woman. Evdokimov demonstrates how the
love of Christ for His Church illumines and conflates the vocations of both the monastic and the married. His vision of Christianity’s radical equality (and necessity) of the sexes within creation and the God-given root of proper gender roles forms the basis for a transformative “Nuptial
Priesthood.”
"The time has come to assert the fullness of matrimony, its state of grace…The true monk will rejoice in this, for he, more than anyone else, is able to discern the real value of marriage. Its
path is narrow, perhaps the most narrow of all, since there are two that walk upon it " (p. 70)
love of Christ for His Church illumines and conflates the vocations of both the monastic and the married. His vision of Christianity’s radical equality (and necessity) of the sexes within creation and the God-given root of proper gender roles forms the basis for a transformative “Nuptial
Priesthood.”
"The time has come to assert the fullness of matrimony, its state of grace…The true monk will rejoice in this, for he, more than anyone else, is able to discern the real value of marriage. Its
path is narrow, perhaps the most narrow of all, since there are two that walk upon it " (p. 70)
October 18, 2021
Reading this book has increased my knowledge greatly of the ancient church and Byzantine church. It is an excellent description of marriage.
I've done this more than once; while discussing a couple that has separated or divorced, I have , pretty thoughtlessly, said something to the effect of "at least they didn't have children". The friend that recommended this book replied to this statement, "That doesn't really matter." Now, I understand why he said this. As a Christian, I often think of marriage largely in terms of procreation. This book points me to the understanding that the holiness in marriage does not largely lie in children produced. This book makes a lot of marriage, rightly so, and restores it to the calling that it is and how it is seen in the church.
I've done this more than once; while discussing a couple that has separated or divorced, I have , pretty thoughtlessly, said something to the effect of "at least they didn't have children". The friend that recommended this book replied to this statement, "That doesn't really matter." Now, I understand why he said this. As a Christian, I often think of marriage largely in terms of procreation. This book points me to the understanding that the holiness in marriage does not largely lie in children produced. This book makes a lot of marriage, rightly so, and restores it to the calling that it is and how it is seen in the church.
March 17, 2021
I wish I could give this book more than 5 stars.
May 18, 2021
The book provides a scholarly treatise on the Orthodox Christian view of marriage and sexuality.
This is a master's thesis rather than a book for the lay reader, which I found extremely disappointing. It is heavily footnoted and contains a lot of historical and scriptural analysis. If you are attending Orthodox seminary and need to write a paper on marriage and the Orthodox Church, this book would make a good source. But it offers little for the layman.
If you are an ordinary Orthodox Christian looking for some guidance on the topics of love, sex, and marriage, I would suggest Love, Sexuality, And The Sacrament Of Marriage, and if you are an ordinary Orthodox Christian wanting to learn more about the Orthodox Church's position on marriage as well as the history of marriage within the Orthodox faith, I would suggest Marriage: An Orthodox Perspective.
This is a master's thesis rather than a book for the lay reader, which I found extremely disappointing. It is heavily footnoted and contains a lot of historical and scriptural analysis. If you are attending Orthodox seminary and need to write a paper on marriage and the Orthodox Church, this book would make a good source. But it offers little for the layman.
If you are an ordinary Orthodox Christian looking for some guidance on the topics of love, sex, and marriage, I would suggest Love, Sexuality, And The Sacrament Of Marriage, and if you are an ordinary Orthodox Christian wanting to learn more about the Orthodox Church's position on marriage as well as the history of marriage within the Orthodox faith, I would suggest Marriage: An Orthodox Perspective.
August 5, 2008
This book had some good parts but was disappointing overall. It was originally a French language book and I don't know if the translation was poor or if the author simply has a very unclear way of writing.
I appreciated his discussion in the beginning of woman, and there were moments later in the book when he discussed contraception and other things that were very clear and helpful. I would not recommend this book in its current incarnation. I am enjoying "Marriage As a Path to Holiness" more, though it is admittedly a less theologically rich book. It is at least a bit better written. I look forward to someday reading the marriage book of John Meyendorff for a hopefully better written reflection on marriage in Orthodox spirituality.
I appreciated his discussion in the beginning of woman, and there were moments later in the book when he discussed contraception and other things that were very clear and helpful. I would not recommend this book in its current incarnation. I am enjoying "Marriage As a Path to Holiness" more, though it is admittedly a less theologically rich book. It is at least a bit better written. I look forward to someday reading the marriage book of John Meyendorff for a hopefully better written reflection on marriage in Orthodox spirituality.
December 25, 2016
Unusually fascinating!. What a lovely title and book cover for starters.
In it's vagrant ramblings it stumbles upon some new light.
It's strongest point is also it's weakest in that- although generally orthodox, it is breaking some new ground, via a kind of ressourcement, and takes in a lot of Christian life, often overreaching.
This could be used in ecumenical work and kudos to Evdokimov for sharing a nuanced take on Love and Marriage in Christianity.
Worth reading alongside Sherrard, Rahner, T Mackin SJ, Knieps Port-Le- Roi, Yannaras, V.C. Samuel, Fr John Behr, JP2, Fabrice Hadjadj, J Meyendorff, William Basil Zion, Dr V Guroian and maybe even crazy old Vladimir Moss' Theology of Eros', or the work of the'Liberal Christian' Adrian Thatcher on 'Postmodern Christian Marriage'.
In it's vagrant ramblings it stumbles upon some new light.
It's strongest point is also it's weakest in that- although generally orthodox, it is breaking some new ground, via a kind of ressourcement, and takes in a lot of Christian life, often overreaching.
This could be used in ecumenical work and kudos to Evdokimov for sharing a nuanced take on Love and Marriage in Christianity.
Worth reading alongside Sherrard, Rahner, T Mackin SJ, Knieps Port-Le- Roi, Yannaras, V.C. Samuel, Fr John Behr, JP2, Fabrice Hadjadj, J Meyendorff, William Basil Zion, Dr V Guroian and maybe even crazy old Vladimir Moss' Theology of Eros', or the work of the'Liberal Christian' Adrian Thatcher on 'Postmodern Christian Marriage'.
April 3, 2013
The single best volume on the sacrament of marriage in English. There are parts of this book that are lyrical and poetical in nature, and thus beautiful and deeply affecting.
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews