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Radical Hospitality: Benedict's Way of Love
Today's culture is increasingly hostile and suspicious toward anyone who appears to be different—especially when tragedy strikes. Our instinct is to bolt our doors and protect the ones we love. But deep within the heart of Benedictine spirituality lies a remedy to hatred, fear, and suspicion: hospitality. At once deeply comforting and sharply challenging, true Benedictine hospitality requires that we welcome the stranger, not only into our homes, but into our hearts.
With warmth and humor, drawing from the monastic tradition and sharing personal anecdotes from their own lives, Pratt and Homan encourage us to embrace not only the literal stranger, but the stranger within and the stranger in those we love.
295 pages, Paperback
First published May 1, 2002
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 64 reviews
March 19, 2011
This books central message was that we humanize ourselves and others when we are open and welcoming to those around us especially the stranger. This is not a dense theological book, which is helpful because we would be dense theologically to think that we must be overly intellectual to be hospitable. What we need to love is eyes that are open to see Christ in the stranger, in our children, in our spouses and friends, and especially in those we disagree with. This book reinforced in me that it is better to listen than to speak, and in that listening we begin to find ourselves in the wholeness and healing of others.
May 5, 2017
How to read this book: slowly. One chapter a week, or better yet, one chapter a month. Underline the sentences that speak to you, listen with your heart to what you are being asked to do, how you are being asked to grow, and then, practice a new way of being in the world--seeing, listening, sharing, setting reasonable boundaries, welcoming, accepting, honoring, reverencing, loving, being present, and living more richly and deeply.
From the introduction: "Hospitality is at the heart of Christianity. No one has ever been more radically welcoming than Jesus, who was always accused of associating with the wrong kind of people--people we wouldn't want in our living rooms, or next to us worshipping."
The reason this book earns 5 stars is because of its content. There are some reviews marking it down for its too simple and straightforward prose, for its emphasis of grace over doctrine, or for its lack of delving deeply into authors' personal stories (depth and detail are requirements for good memoir, in some people's opinion).
But this is not memoir. This is a Benedictine reflection on a practice central to the Benedictine way of life. Benedictine understanding helps a reader "get" its message, which is that we need to be "awakened to our indifference by the Holy Spirit..[in order to learn] to welcome and care for those who are unlike us." The thesis of the book is that demonstrating 'Radical Hospitality' (which is the same as radical love) is the way to live a Christ-centered (Benedictine) life.
This book aims not to draw attention to its authors or their stories, but to the simple, abiding truth that to call oneself a Christian is to accept the task of loving everyone, including those we don't understand, those we don't particularly like, those who are different from us, and even our enemies.
From the introduction: "Hospitality is at the heart of Christianity. No one has ever been more radically welcoming than Jesus, who was always accused of associating with the wrong kind of people--people we wouldn't want in our living rooms, or next to us worshipping."
The reason this book earns 5 stars is because of its content. There are some reviews marking it down for its too simple and straightforward prose, for its emphasis of grace over doctrine, or for its lack of delving deeply into authors' personal stories (depth and detail are requirements for good memoir, in some people's opinion).
But this is not memoir. This is a Benedictine reflection on a practice central to the Benedictine way of life. Benedictine understanding helps a reader "get" its message, which is that we need to be "awakened to our indifference by the Holy Spirit..[in order to learn] to welcome and care for those who are unlike us." The thesis of the book is that demonstrating 'Radical Hospitality' (which is the same as radical love) is the way to live a Christ-centered (Benedictine) life.
This book aims not to draw attention to its authors or their stories, but to the simple, abiding truth that to call oneself a Christian is to accept the task of loving everyone, including those we don't understand, those we don't particularly like, those who are different from us, and even our enemies.
June 12, 2021
I read this book because books on hospitality are scarce - at least hospitality as a value rather than a type of industry. While I'm not christian, I found the discussion of hospitality very helpful. The framework for hospitality is the monastic tradition.
Given that hospitality is becoming an increasingly scarce art/gift, folks from any faith (or no faith) tradition would find this helpful - if they are seeking ways to live a more connected life.
Given that hospitality is becoming an increasingly scarce art/gift, folks from any faith (or no faith) tradition would find this helpful - if they are seeking ways to live a more connected life.
September 19, 2010
I checked this little gem out from the Spirituality Center at St. Benedict's Monastery in MN - plowed through it in just a few days and feel like I wrote about a quarter of the book in my notebook! So many wonderful thoughts and ideas.
I found a lot of the definitions especially effective and thought provoking. I especially liked this: "Acceptance. Now there's a word loaded with meaning. We tend to confuse it with tolerance or even approval. But acceptance is about receiving, rather than judging... Acceptance is not about condoning, it is about embracing... When we accept, we take an open stance to the other person. It is more than piously tolerating them. We stand in the same space and we appreciate who they are, right now at this moment, and affirm the Sacred in them."
There are so many great nuggets in this little book - I highly recommend it to everyone. Written by a Catholic Monk and a journalist, this book is open and loving, and extremely well written.
I found a lot of the definitions especially effective and thought provoking. I especially liked this: "Acceptance. Now there's a word loaded with meaning. We tend to confuse it with tolerance or even approval. But acceptance is about receiving, rather than judging... Acceptance is not about condoning, it is about embracing... When we accept, we take an open stance to the other person. It is more than piously tolerating them. We stand in the same space and we appreciate who they are, right now at this moment, and affirm the Sacred in them."
There are so many great nuggets in this little book - I highly recommend it to everyone. Written by a Catholic Monk and a journalist, this book is open and loving, and extremely well written.
May 30, 2021
When reading a book, especially a non-fiction title, I write the word "Key" in the margins to signifying an important passage or thought. This book is covered with "Keys" within each chapter! The authors point out that their book is not meant to be a "How to" book, but rather a book to make you reflect and ask yourself if you can truly create radical hospitality. Each chapter contains wonderful writings reflecting Benedictine thought, personal stories, and advice. Some stories are funny, some are tragic (one author shares her heartbreaking story of her infant child's battle with cancer). I come out of this book learning a great deal about Benedictine concepts of hospitality. So much that I will likely change my daily interactions with individuals to reflect this wonderful philosophy of living. Most importantly, as a professor/educator, I will strive to create "radical hospitality" in my classroom and pedagogy. Each chapter provides a framework to create this. Be prepared however that the last 3 or so chapters are extremely emotional and heartbreaking. This is important (and intentional IMO) in that these chapters bring in the true heart of what is means to be hospitable. A wonderful book to be read with patience and careful reflection.
March 17, 2017
Radical Hospitality is not a book about recipes and table-setting techniques. Instead Father Homan defines hospitality as listening to and opening space for the strangers in our midst.
"Hospitality has two meanings for most people today. It either refers to hotels or cruise ships, or it is connected to entertaining friends and family in the warmth of candlelight with gleaming silver and ivory lace. One model makes it an industry, making it profitable. The other model relegates it to the domain of entertainment and housekeeping…Thus it has become safe and cozy, rather than revolutionary, risky and world-rattling." (p. 10)
The subtitle of the book is “Benedict’s Way of Love,” referring to the Rule of Saint Benedict (480 – 550 AD) which were guidelines for living in monastic community. When St. Benedict wrote of hospitality he stressed the importance of welcoming the outsider, the poor the pilgrim. Benedict understood that guests are crucial to the making of monk. Benedict was a realist; he knew there would always be people at the monastery door. It was a means of grace given to monks, a complicated reality that contributed to the making of their hearts. (p. viii)
The theme of the book is hospitality as a spiritual discipline: Listening is the core of hospitality, and while the people we listen to benefit, in the end we are the ones transformed. (p. 220)
This book challenged me to think in new ways. The only reason I'm not more enthusiastic about it is because of its average prose ("You like yourself better after you've reached out to someone.") its occasionally fluffy theology, and it's unnecessary length. The same truths could have been delineated in half the number of pages. My biggest gripe, though, is that it emphasized grace at the expense of truth. (The Rules themselves are very biblical, but this interpretation of them is less so.)
"Hospitality has two meanings for most people today. It either refers to hotels or cruise ships, or it is connected to entertaining friends and family in the warmth of candlelight with gleaming silver and ivory lace. One model makes it an industry, making it profitable. The other model relegates it to the domain of entertainment and housekeeping…Thus it has become safe and cozy, rather than revolutionary, risky and world-rattling." (p. 10)
The subtitle of the book is “Benedict’s Way of Love,” referring to the Rule of Saint Benedict (480 – 550 AD) which were guidelines for living in monastic community. When St. Benedict wrote of hospitality he stressed the importance of welcoming the outsider, the poor the pilgrim. Benedict understood that guests are crucial to the making of monk. Benedict was a realist; he knew there would always be people at the monastery door. It was a means of grace given to monks, a complicated reality that contributed to the making of their hearts. (p. viii)
The theme of the book is hospitality as a spiritual discipline: Listening is the core of hospitality, and while the people we listen to benefit, in the end we are the ones transformed. (p. 220)
This book challenged me to think in new ways. The only reason I'm not more enthusiastic about it is because of its average prose ("You like yourself better after you've reached out to someone.") its occasionally fluffy theology, and it's unnecessary length. The same truths could have been delineated in half the number of pages. My biggest gripe, though, is that it emphasized grace at the expense of truth. (The Rules themselves are very biblical, but this interpretation of them is less so.)
February 3, 2014
Last October, I was reading this book while visiting my daughter, Kate. Kate started to read it, so I left it for her and soon after received this email from her: "This Radical Hospitality may be the best book as far as timeliness that I have read in a while. It feels like it's speaking directly to my heart - challenging, pulling, changing. It's a great book to read."
My thoughts echo Kate's. May I some day live more fully into the stories and thoughts in the book.
My thoughts echo Kate's. May I some day live more fully into the stories and thoughts in the book.
November 11, 2012
A lovely book which tries to tackle the difficult aspects of interacting with someone who is different from ourselves. It was first published in 2002, and it has definite post-9/11 concerns. Many of the anecdotes are universal, however, and there's a lot to think about here.
January 9, 2017
Hospitality is about more than setting a nice table for friends. Hospitality, in the Benedict way, means opening one's heart to the stranger. Excellent introduction to radical hospitality.
June 7, 2019
This was a book group choice.
Radical Hospitality addresses the tenets of the Rule of St. Benedict regarding hospitality both as the topic is addressed by Benedictine communities around the world and in the specific St. Benedict Monastery in Michigan, as well as how The Rule applies in life outside the monastery. Thus examples and stories from all of life's situations are used to illustrate ways to meet other's needs; to bring hospitality to them.
Beginning with the first rule from which so much is derived, "Listen," we learn how to be present, to welcome, nurture, and companion friends, families and strangers we encounter. Along the way we learn to set boundaries, and create a space for ourselves in order to have space for those who need us.
I found that the book, though an easy read, really did not hold my interest well. Also, there was a sense of disjointedness and disorganization that made this less than stellar. Others in our reading group did find the book helpful.
Radical Hospitality addresses the tenets of the Rule of St. Benedict regarding hospitality both as the topic is addressed by Benedictine communities around the world and in the specific St. Benedict Monastery in Michigan, as well as how The Rule applies in life outside the monastery. Thus examples and stories from all of life's situations are used to illustrate ways to meet other's needs; to bring hospitality to them.
Beginning with the first rule from which so much is derived, "Listen," we learn how to be present, to welcome, nurture, and companion friends, families and strangers we encounter. Along the way we learn to set boundaries, and create a space for ourselves in order to have space for those who need us.
I found that the book, though an easy read, really did not hold my interest well. Also, there was a sense of disjointedness and disorganization that made this less than stellar. Others in our reading group did find the book helpful.
July 30, 2017
I bought this book while I was on a silent retreat at a Trappist monastery. Much of the message I found familiar but challenging... love as Jesus loves, embrace as Jesus embraces, even when we are reluctant to do so. I guess I expected more on Benedict's way as it applies to everyday life and fewer personal anecdotes. I also would have liked to have seen more from the coauthor, Father Homan. And, despite the new chapters and introduction, still a bit dated in terms of what I found an overfocus on 9/11. All in all, a pleasant but not lifechanging read.
July 1, 2020
This is an amazing book! If you are looking for an examination of the ways that you can open yourself up and be a better human by being there for other humans, this is the book to read. I'm not an overly spiritual or religious person, and this book spoke to me in an approachable and welcoming way. Lonni Collins Pratt and Father Dan's stories and examples restored my faith in humanity, in a time when we greatly recommend it.
Read it slow. Digest it daily. The lessons of hospitality will extend far beyond your readings.
Read it slow. Digest it daily. The lessons of hospitality will extend far beyond your readings.
November 5, 2021
"We hide out, isolate ourselves, and deny our natural need for others. We erroneously think we need safety the most. What we need most is acceptance."
Ok so I picked this up off the shelves when I was at home a while ago and whilst there is a lot I could critique about it and the audience it's clearly written for, it's also exactly what I needed to read. Unexpected gentle reminders that have soothed me as I crawl out of my lockdown cave of self-preservation.
Ok so I picked this up off the shelves when I was at home a while ago and whilst there is a lot I could critique about it and the audience it's clearly written for, it's also exactly what I needed to read. Unexpected gentle reminders that have soothed me as I crawl out of my lockdown cave of self-preservation.
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January 8, 2023For anyone interested in monasticism, Benedictines spirituality, and the like from a broad, inclusive, nonjudgmental, nonshaming, Roman Catholic perspective - this is a wonderful resource. The author goes to substantial depth yet keeps the read at a level that one does not need to be a theologian or deeply religious to appreciate the narrative. Highly recommend.
June 4, 2018
We need to open ourselves up to hospitality - to be willing to love and be loved. This was a remarkable little book that filled my soul with such joy. It challenged me to be more open to strangers. Well written and worth the read.
May 1, 2021
Since I am not catholic, I had some differences with the book, but I found it to contain much wisdom.
“Hospitality doesn’t require a new cookbook and tea set. It requires what we used to call conversion.”
“Hospitality doesn’t require a new cookbook and tea set. It requires what we used to call conversion.”
April 26, 2023
The concept of hospitality is fairly straightforward- but this book holds a humility and humanity that connects to the heart of Jesus in a beautiful and practical way. The real-life stories are moving and memorable.
April 8, 2024
I really enjoyed this book. I have been studying and practicing the rules of old. Radical hospitality was very insightful and great with relevant example. My soul has come to appreciate the concepts of monasticism and the heart of it.
April 8, 2025
I really took away a lot from this book, but it is not a quick and easy read. for me to feel like I was truly absorbing the life-changing principles, I had to read a few pages and then take time to absorb.
July 26, 2025
A fan of the topic and the goal of the book, but it felt mostly like disconnected stories and general tropes about being a kind and hospitable person. Not a knock on the content, just too long and winding for me to follow a main idea or development.
August 14, 2022
A solid reflection on what it means to be welcoming through the lens of the Rule of St. Benedict. Definitely a book that can be read and reread because of its depth and focus on practice vs. theory.
January 5, 2023
Lovely book a must read if you want to
Understand hospitality in a way that isn’t entertaining.
Understand hospitality in a way that isn’t entertaining.
June 14, 2023
It was confusing to know which author was speaking.
Also, I feel like the context is good, but there wasn’t anything that I particularly learned that was new.
Also, I feel like the context is good, but there wasn’t anything that I particularly learned that was new.
March 21, 2024
A quick, easy read on the Benedictine way of transforming our hearts.
October 26, 2024
so good! highly recommend!
January 10, 2025
Great content with lots of moving stories ! But the organization made it hard for me to stay engaged and follow the overall arc. So three stars from me
November 6, 2025
Was given this book by a friend after a number of conversations about hospitality. Loved it! Will return many times.
February 27, 2017
While there were some sections of the text that were difficult for me to relate to, overall I enjoyed reading this, and found that a lot of Pratt's observations and reflections resonate with where I am and want to be on my spiritual path.
August 31, 2014
pg. viii "We both want and fear connecting with each other.. ...Guests are crucial to the making of any heart. Benedict instructed his monks to welcome the Divine in the stranger. He told them to look again, look deeper when you look into the eyes of stranger. If you want to be a person of great spirit, you can't do life alone. To really grow as a human being you need other people."
pg. xxii "People have been hurt by strangers. You only need to turn on the evening news to be aware that we are growing into a fearful people, suspicious of strangers and outsiders. When we speak of the depth of hospitality, we are proposing something scary and radical. But it's worth the risk. Unless we find a way to open ourselves to others, we will grow even more isolated and frightened. If we do not find and practice ways of hospitality we will grow increasingly hostile.....The people we encounter daily, at the gas station and grocery store and flower shop, aren't incidental to our lives. Benedict teaches us that if we close ourselves to the stranger, we close ourselves to the Sacred."
pg. 5 "Hospitality puts an end to injustice....Hospitality is both the answer to modern alienation and injustice and a path to a deeper spirituality."
pg. 8 "It is easier to fear a whole group of people instead of giving one person a chance. To live courageously means giving up the fear and giving every single person a chance."
pg. 20 "Hospitality is the overflowing of a heart that has to share what it has received. It takes a whole person to open up, it takes a secure person to be available, it takes a strong person to give yourself away."
pg. 26 "Only the secure person can live with an open heart. To do so is a whole lot braver than it sounds. You become susceptible to all sorts of human oddities and strangeness. You will be misunderstood. YOu will be rejected. Doubts you could otherwise avoid, will circle your feet. You have to resolve the issue of whether or not the universe is a safe place. Only the brave keep the door ajar......Yes, it will be costly. People will enter your heart and your life; they will become precious to you and then they will leave. An open heart will be broken. This is all undeniable. But, by remaining open we learn about ourselves and we grow in ways we'd never otherwise grow. We discover why it is hard for us to trust and love. We encounter the broken places we have ignored; we listen to the voices of our deepest longings to connect."
pg. 31 "Hospitality does not require a new cookbook and tea set. It requires what we used to call conversion."
pg. 36 "Hospitality is a personal response to your own need to connect with other people. This need is at the core of what it means to be human. The real question is not how dangerous that stranger is. The real question is how dangerous will I become if I don't learn to be more open?"
pg.76 "It isn't easy to be open and hospitable when you feel threatened......Fear devastates our ability to trust, love, and open up to others."
pg. 108 "A table is a place where you connect and belong. It is a place where the past remains alive in the memory of the very old, and the future sparkles with possibility."
pg. 185 "The part of us that we give to others, to the stranger you might say, is our outer self. Saying it is an outer self does not mean it is false. It means we reserve our most scared inner places for those who are trusted to walk gently with us on that soil With the outer self we give attention We listen We offer genuine concern and attempt to enter the experience of someone else. We appreciate the person, and give them something of ourselves, without expecting them to become a friend. We don't necessarily share secrets, inner feelings, dreams, or ambitions and passions."
pg. 189 "To be available to those who are needy can cost us emotionally, but we do not offer them our deepest self. If we protect ourselves with appropriate boundaries, we are not threatened by this need kind of person because they so happily receive whatever little we can give."
pg. 197 "You can't engage with human pain and remain unchanged. But that is the beauty of it. It will cost you everything and you will gain everything."
pg. xxii "People have been hurt by strangers. You only need to turn on the evening news to be aware that we are growing into a fearful people, suspicious of strangers and outsiders. When we speak of the depth of hospitality, we are proposing something scary and radical. But it's worth the risk. Unless we find a way to open ourselves to others, we will grow even more isolated and frightened. If we do not find and practice ways of hospitality we will grow increasingly hostile.....The people we encounter daily, at the gas station and grocery store and flower shop, aren't incidental to our lives. Benedict teaches us that if we close ourselves to the stranger, we close ourselves to the Sacred."
pg. 5 "Hospitality puts an end to injustice....Hospitality is both the answer to modern alienation and injustice and a path to a deeper spirituality."
pg. 8 "It is easier to fear a whole group of people instead of giving one person a chance. To live courageously means giving up the fear and giving every single person a chance."
pg. 20 "Hospitality is the overflowing of a heart that has to share what it has received. It takes a whole person to open up, it takes a secure person to be available, it takes a strong person to give yourself away."
pg. 26 "Only the secure person can live with an open heart. To do so is a whole lot braver than it sounds. You become susceptible to all sorts of human oddities and strangeness. You will be misunderstood. YOu will be rejected. Doubts you could otherwise avoid, will circle your feet. You have to resolve the issue of whether or not the universe is a safe place. Only the brave keep the door ajar......Yes, it will be costly. People will enter your heart and your life; they will become precious to you and then they will leave. An open heart will be broken. This is all undeniable. But, by remaining open we learn about ourselves and we grow in ways we'd never otherwise grow. We discover why it is hard for us to trust and love. We encounter the broken places we have ignored; we listen to the voices of our deepest longings to connect."
pg. 31 "Hospitality does not require a new cookbook and tea set. It requires what we used to call conversion."
pg. 36 "Hospitality is a personal response to your own need to connect with other people. This need is at the core of what it means to be human. The real question is not how dangerous that stranger is. The real question is how dangerous will I become if I don't learn to be more open?"
pg.76 "It isn't easy to be open and hospitable when you feel threatened......Fear devastates our ability to trust, love, and open up to others."
pg. 108 "A table is a place where you connect and belong. It is a place where the past remains alive in the memory of the very old, and the future sparkles with possibility."
pg. 185 "The part of us that we give to others, to the stranger you might say, is our outer self. Saying it is an outer self does not mean it is false. It means we reserve our most scared inner places for those who are trusted to walk gently with us on that soil With the outer self we give attention We listen We offer genuine concern and attempt to enter the experience of someone else. We appreciate the person, and give them something of ourselves, without expecting them to become a friend. We don't necessarily share secrets, inner feelings, dreams, or ambitions and passions."
pg. 189 "To be available to those who are needy can cost us emotionally, but we do not offer them our deepest self. If we protect ourselves with appropriate boundaries, we are not threatened by this need kind of person because they so happily receive whatever little we can give."
pg. 197 "You can't engage with human pain and remain unchanged. But that is the beauty of it. It will cost you everything and you will gain everything."
March 7, 2017
I got a little out of the book, but honestly, thus is a bloated magazine article. With few relevant takeaways, the author's path seemed desultory. I wish the appendix had been the preface and my expectations would have been better aligned with what the book delivered.
The author teases at some stories of personal tragedy that I wish had been expanded. Then she tells other indistinguishable incidents that are repetitive and not a part of the world that most of us live in. After reading nearly 300 pages on Benedictine hospitality, I know surprisingly little about it still. As a previous reviewer noted, a good edit is in order.
The author teases at some stories of personal tragedy that I wish had been expanded. Then she tells other indistinguishable incidents that are repetitive and not a part of the world that most of us live in. After reading nearly 300 pages on Benedictine hospitality, I know surprisingly little about it still. As a previous reviewer noted, a good edit is in order.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 64 reviews