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Girl, Get Your Mind Right: The Tell-It-Like-It-Is Advice Your Love Life Has Been Missing
Tionna Tee Smalls, star of the VH1 reality show What Chilli Wants , brings her straight up relationship expertise and no bull attitude to women everywhere in Girl, Get Your Mind Right —offering tell-it-like-it-is advice your love life has been missing. The flip side of Steve Harvey’s blockbuster bestseller Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, Tionna’s Girl, Get Your Mind Right is the book that every woman needs.
- GenresRelationships
192 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 1, 2007
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145 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
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April 3, 2011"Most of the times you think you are meeting a nice man but really you are meeting his representative. His getting-in-your-pants, all-nice-and-shit, friendly representative."
"A mean monster you preys on lonely females who snatch him up right away, because they are too desperate to wait for the results of the background check"
"Men know something that we ladies are just starting to learn, and that's there is someone for everyone and if you miss one, another one is coming in about fifteen minutes"
"It is time to throw away the trash. Don't act like those old ladies whose apartments are filled with newspapers and junk mail because they are afraid of throwing out something important. You have to know how to decipher the junk, and exes my dear, are junk. Think about why you two broke up in the first place and come to terms with it."
"And if you are still in love with your ex and you guys decided to be "friends", it's time to stop being his friend--period. If you're still in love you can't keep being his Facebook friend, his MySpace friend, or his Twitter friend. Being able to access his life like that will only drive you nuts."
"And if you're not friends with him, stop trying to be friends with his family and/or his friends too. Yes, so many women suffer from this. They try to act like they love his mama so much and you may indeed like her, but you don't need to visit her ass every single week. That's just plain ridiculous. My new motto is if you break up with him, you break up with everything associated with him. This if your own sanity. I don't know, maybe you keep running over to his mama's house in hopes that you would run into him, which, as I found out the hard way, is very lame. Maybe you want his moms to ally with you so you can one day get back his love, but just know that's still her son and she may sit there and snap, crackle, and pop with you but really, she's no friend of yours. She sits and be friends with almost all the women he brings over there who break their necks to still be involved. And don't be the dummy that brings over some food or gifts when you come. Oh, his mother will definitely be like, shut the door bitch, come on in.
Think like this: so what if Mom is reporting back to her son about how good you look,; How could he miss you when he always gets a live, secondhand update about what's going on with you? But that isn't even the point. If you guys are not together, you cannot be all up on his family; it makes you look weak and desperate."
BE WITH THE GUY WHO IS INTERESTED IN YOU MORE THAN YOU ARE INTERESTED IN HIM
"Stop caring about the guys who don't give you respect and start checking for the guys who are checking for you. I know it should be mutual, but honey, you're fooling yourself believing that two people can be into each other at the same pace. There's always going to be one in the relationship who is more interested in the other and usually when the man is more interested it seems to work out. That's why I don't want any of my ladies going out there trying to find a man. Let him find you and when he does find you, you will know that it's right. You deserve to be the object of a man's affection. You don't need to be the one hunting him down, trying to make him feel a certain way about you."
"A mean monster you preys on lonely females who snatch him up right away, because they are too desperate to wait for the results of the background check"
"Men know something that we ladies are just starting to learn, and that's there is someone for everyone and if you miss one, another one is coming in about fifteen minutes"
"It is time to throw away the trash. Don't act like those old ladies whose apartments are filled with newspapers and junk mail because they are afraid of throwing out something important. You have to know how to decipher the junk, and exes my dear, are junk. Think about why you two broke up in the first place and come to terms with it."
"And if you are still in love with your ex and you guys decided to be "friends", it's time to stop being his friend--period. If you're still in love you can't keep being his Facebook friend, his MySpace friend, or his Twitter friend. Being able to access his life like that will only drive you nuts."
"And if you're not friends with him, stop trying to be friends with his family and/or his friends too. Yes, so many women suffer from this. They try to act like they love his mama so much and you may indeed like her, but you don't need to visit her ass every single week. That's just plain ridiculous. My new motto is if you break up with him, you break up with everything associated with him. This if your own sanity. I don't know, maybe you keep running over to his mama's house in hopes that you would run into him, which, as I found out the hard way, is very lame. Maybe you want his moms to ally with you so you can one day get back his love, but just know that's still her son and she may sit there and snap, crackle, and pop with you but really, she's no friend of yours. She sits and be friends with almost all the women he brings over there who break their necks to still be involved. And don't be the dummy that brings over some food or gifts when you come. Oh, his mother will definitely be like, shut the door bitch, come on in.
Think like this: so what if Mom is reporting back to her son about how good you look,; How could he miss you when he always gets a live, secondhand update about what's going on with you? But that isn't even the point. If you guys are not together, you cannot be all up on his family; it makes you look weak and desperate."
BE WITH THE GUY WHO IS INTERESTED IN YOU MORE THAN YOU ARE INTERESTED IN HIM
"Stop caring about the guys who don't give you respect and start checking for the guys who are checking for you. I know it should be mutual, but honey, you're fooling yourself believing that two people can be into each other at the same pace. There's always going to be one in the relationship who is more interested in the other and usually when the man is more interested it seems to work out. That's why I don't want any of my ladies going out there trying to find a man. Let him find you and when he does find you, you will know that it's right. You deserve to be the object of a man's affection. You don't need to be the one hunting him down, trying to make him feel a certain way about you."
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March 31, 2025Girl, Get Your Mind Right!
This reminded me of an old book I read once called “The Rules”. Only in a more “colorful” tone of voice. There’s nothing to really critique about the things in these 18 chapters. It’s really all the same with books like this from a male perspective or a femal perspective. Its common-sense things but things that I had to learn from age and maturity. Things that I wish sometimes if I think back, I could get a do-over because YES, I didn’t always do these things. I didn’t “Take My Time” or “Use The Word No” nearly as much as I should have. I didn’t “Keep It Locked Over An I Love You.” I didn’t know “I Had That Thang ”. I definitely didn’t know to “Leave Them Thugs Alone (at a younger age). And I had to learn to “Not Lose Your Friends” because of a relationship. So, half of the things it said don’t do I did.
There were some things I agreed with and felt like it was personal. I actually felt like these statements was directed to people I know. “There are a lot of single women out there that pray and cry to God every night in search of a good man. You better get up, get sexy, shut the hell up, and stop complaining because girlfriend you have a good man on your hands. If your man treats you well, sexes you well (or even wants to), comes home at night, and handles his business like a man then he’s a good man.” I REALLY don’t think some women know that (that) have had one for YEARS!
Oh, but she doesn’t leave it there. She says “Girl, you better lean how to treat that man because one day you might find yourself by yourself, looking and feeling STUPID over the great man you lost. I could see you now going on dates with other men (or whomever) and feeling like someone who has a big L on her face all because you couldn’t take a second to appreciate the good man you once had. I can bet you that most women reading this book will take that good man off your hands with no problem, so you better get your mind right and appreciate that fact that you have a good one.”
Then I STRONGLY AGREED with these comments “Having self-esteem will prevent you from going through most if not all the bullcrap that you go through. Women who don’t have self-esteem accept whatever it is that is thrown to them because no matter what they may say, they really don’t think they can do better. And if they know they can do better they don’t think that someone better is going to want their ass. I know that sometimes we stay with an effed-up guy because A) we’re afraid to be alone and B) we’re afraid of the unknown; but where do you think that fear comes from, young lady?”
“The fear comes from the lack of belief you have in yourself. You need to acquire confidence, and I’m talking about real confidence, confidence so great that no one could tell you nothing. You’re not going to tolerate anyone coming at you in a disrespectful way, let alone a man cheating on you. Why do that when there’s another man out there waiting and anticipating your love?”
“And even if you’re not a total Betty, at least you love yourself enough to know that you don’t have to take nobody’s mess. I also say have self-esteem because a man knows when you don’t and will play with that very same fact. My line about men has always been, men play different women in different ways. And that’s a quote you should always remember because it’s the truth. So with that being said, a man will always fuck over women who don’t love themselves. Believe that, honey bunches of oats.”
Then there’s this ugly truth-but a truth all the same-. It was in CHAPTER 18. “A lot of times, women stay with men who make it clear that he no longer wants to be in a relationship. He does this by cheating or by not having sex with you. I don’t know if it’s because you got sloppy over the years or it is because he has someone new, but the fact is he doesn’t want you. Don’t sit there and settle for that bullcrap because you guys have been together for so long. You should never sit there and be with a guy who makes it clear that he doesn’t want you. It’s something that can really mess up your self-esteem. You have to be strong enough to leave that situation if need to be, because in the end you will be hurt.”
Now, despite the good advice there were also some things that I DID NOT agree with. This author seems to think if he didn’t pre-decide it, it’s not cheating. She gives the example that if a man goes to a bar and hooks up with a woman on the spur it’s not cheating. UMMM YEEEEEAH! I HATE TO TELL YOU THIS BUT ITS STILL CHEATING!
A couple of things irritated me HIGHLY with this author. She seemed to like to ever so often throw her man into it. Which sounded too much like bragging and in a book for single women this is NOT a good thing. “I’ve been with my man over two year.” And “Thank God I have a real man in my life.” You might just wanna keep statements like that too yourself when addressing women that aren’t so fortunate.
And then here’s another thing that ANNOYS me. It’s when people like this author who are happily in relationships write these books and seem to think all you have to do is follow these rules and just like me you’ll get a man. Because we all know “there’s someone out there for everyone.” It drives me CRAZY when people tell single people this. Do you REALLY think it’s that easy? But your telling us to get “our” minds right?
Another thing is here is a WOMAN now telling other WOMEN to check THEMSELVES and I wrote a whole review on a book like this that was from a MANS perspective. And again like I said in that review and I’ll continue to say not yet have I seen a book ike this written to MEN. So, I guess the fault is on us hunh?
Rating: 7 It said some good things that I couldn’t really argue with but other things about it completely rubbed me the wrong way.
This reminded me of an old book I read once called “The Rules”. Only in a more “colorful” tone of voice. There’s nothing to really critique about the things in these 18 chapters. It’s really all the same with books like this from a male perspective or a femal perspective. Its common-sense things but things that I had to learn from age and maturity. Things that I wish sometimes if I think back, I could get a do-over because YES, I didn’t always do these things. I didn’t “Take My Time” or “Use The Word No” nearly as much as I should have. I didn’t “Keep It Locked Over An I Love You.” I didn’t know “I Had That Thang ”. I definitely didn’t know to “Leave Them Thugs Alone (at a younger age). And I had to learn to “Not Lose Your Friends” because of a relationship. So, half of the things it said don’t do I did.
There were some things I agreed with and felt like it was personal. I actually felt like these statements was directed to people I know. “There are a lot of single women out there that pray and cry to God every night in search of a good man. You better get up, get sexy, shut the hell up, and stop complaining because girlfriend you have a good man on your hands. If your man treats you well, sexes you well (or even wants to), comes home at night, and handles his business like a man then he’s a good man.” I REALLY don’t think some women know that (that) have had one for YEARS!
Oh, but she doesn’t leave it there. She says “Girl, you better lean how to treat that man because one day you might find yourself by yourself, looking and feeling STUPID over the great man you lost. I could see you now going on dates with other men (or whomever) and feeling like someone who has a big L on her face all because you couldn’t take a second to appreciate the good man you once had. I can bet you that most women reading this book will take that good man off your hands with no problem, so you better get your mind right and appreciate that fact that you have a good one.”
Then I STRONGLY AGREED with these comments “Having self-esteem will prevent you from going through most if not all the bullcrap that you go through. Women who don’t have self-esteem accept whatever it is that is thrown to them because no matter what they may say, they really don’t think they can do better. And if they know they can do better they don’t think that someone better is going to want their ass. I know that sometimes we stay with an effed-up guy because A) we’re afraid to be alone and B) we’re afraid of the unknown; but where do you think that fear comes from, young lady?”
“The fear comes from the lack of belief you have in yourself. You need to acquire confidence, and I’m talking about real confidence, confidence so great that no one could tell you nothing. You’re not going to tolerate anyone coming at you in a disrespectful way, let alone a man cheating on you. Why do that when there’s another man out there waiting and anticipating your love?”
“And even if you’re not a total Betty, at least you love yourself enough to know that you don’t have to take nobody’s mess. I also say have self-esteem because a man knows when you don’t and will play with that very same fact. My line about men has always been, men play different women in different ways. And that’s a quote you should always remember because it’s the truth. So with that being said, a man will always fuck over women who don’t love themselves. Believe that, honey bunches of oats.”
Then there’s this ugly truth-but a truth all the same-. It was in CHAPTER 18. “A lot of times, women stay with men who make it clear that he no longer wants to be in a relationship. He does this by cheating or by not having sex with you. I don’t know if it’s because you got sloppy over the years or it is because he has someone new, but the fact is he doesn’t want you. Don’t sit there and settle for that bullcrap because you guys have been together for so long. You should never sit there and be with a guy who makes it clear that he doesn’t want you. It’s something that can really mess up your self-esteem. You have to be strong enough to leave that situation if need to be, because in the end you will be hurt.”
Now, despite the good advice there were also some things that I DID NOT agree with. This author seems to think if he didn’t pre-decide it, it’s not cheating. She gives the example that if a man goes to a bar and hooks up with a woman on the spur it’s not cheating. UMMM YEEEEEAH! I HATE TO TELL YOU THIS BUT ITS STILL CHEATING!
A couple of things irritated me HIGHLY with this author. She seemed to like to ever so often throw her man into it. Which sounded too much like bragging and in a book for single women this is NOT a good thing. “I’ve been with my man over two year.” And “Thank God I have a real man in my life.” You might just wanna keep statements like that too yourself when addressing women that aren’t so fortunate.
And then here’s another thing that ANNOYS me. It’s when people like this author who are happily in relationships write these books and seem to think all you have to do is follow these rules and just like me you’ll get a man. Because we all know “there’s someone out there for everyone.” It drives me CRAZY when people tell single people this. Do you REALLY think it’s that easy? But your telling us to get “our” minds right?
Another thing is here is a WOMAN now telling other WOMEN to check THEMSELVES and I wrote a whole review on a book like this that was from a MANS perspective. And again like I said in that review and I’ll continue to say not yet have I seen a book ike this written to MEN. So, I guess the fault is on us hunh?
Rating: 7 It said some good things that I couldn’t really argue with but other things about it completely rubbed me the wrong way.
May 2, 2018
"Cheating is not when your man goes to the bar after a very long and stressful day of work, gets drunk, and has sex with the woman on the next stool. That’s a slip."
That's a quote from the book. she basically excuses cheating as long as the man calls it a slip or is drunk. seriously? No self-respecting woman should listen to this crap.
That's a quote from the book. she basically excuses cheating as long as the man calls it a slip or is drunk. seriously? No self-respecting woman should listen to this crap.
February 5, 2011
I normally stay away from the self-help genre, but Girl, Get Your Mind Right was a book club selection. The advice is all common sense information about men and relationships we women have heard at least once in our lives. For a woman in need of getting her mind right and willing and ready to make change, this is the advice book to read. I don't think it's life-changing, but it's the perfect kick in the rear you will need. I agreed with about 80% of her advice, which is more than I expected upon opening it. She dropped many pearls of wisdom that I think we women need to be reminded of as often as possible. Some of my favorites are:
1. "A real man doesn't subtract from his lady, he adds and multiplies".
2. "The word love can be a gift and a curse".
3. "Love is about additions, not subtractions".
4. Fear of not finding a man leads to making bad decisions about men.
A part of the book's appeal is the very basic writing Ms. Smalls uses. It's conversational. I would have given it 3 stars, but the editing is poor. I found multiple errors throughout the book. If I can point out an error, let alone 8 or 9, then it's really bad. I couldn't believe that a publishing giant like Harper Collins would allow this book to go to print in this state. Editing aside, it's a worthwhile read.
1. "A real man doesn't subtract from his lady, he adds and multiplies".
2. "The word love can be a gift and a curse".
3. "Love is about additions, not subtractions".
4. Fear of not finding a man leads to making bad decisions about men.
A part of the book's appeal is the very basic writing Ms. Smalls uses. It's conversational. I would have given it 3 stars, but the editing is poor. I found multiple errors throughout the book. If I can point out an error, let alone 8 or 9, then it's really bad. I couldn't believe that a publishing giant like Harper Collins would allow this book to go to print in this state. Editing aside, it's a worthwhile read.
June 7, 2011
Ok so I really enjoyed the book, but none of pertained to me. I really just brought the book to support Tionna, but i will say this if some of you single ladies out there find yourself in the same mess but a different man every time, than this book is a must read. Tionna gives great advice on how to get yourself together and get ya' mind right so when that great together man comes walking by you he will notice you and be interested, and you will up to his level. Remember ladies a well together man is going to marry a well together woman, not somebody who is all over the place with a ton of baggage.
July 4, 2011
The first day I started reading the book i was walking around the park. That day I only planned on walking 1 mile. The book was so good by the time I looked up i was almost completing 2.5miles. with that said, I love it, I love it, I love it..... This Diva book is off the hook. I had many laughs, got hit with a few reality checks and made several phone calls to a few home-girls; I had to relay Tionna's message "Girl Get Your Mind Right!" The diva is bomb. If you don't have it,get it!
April 15, 2015
I've been a fan of Tionna's for some time now, I really like her style. This was funny and it read like a really great female friend sitting with you and telling you that you're worth great things. Who couldn't use that? This book could've used a more careful editing. I also think some of the language could turn the squares off. I recommend this if you're a Tionna fan, don't mind saucy language and if you find yourself making the same mistakes over and over again in love.
March 16, 2015
This book is okay, but i find the rules a bit long and draggy as well as too theory base. She shows examples of her life as well, some. But i find that she is being too aggressive in her way of expressing herself, especially in female term. I respect what she said such as as a female we should love ourselves, tolerate no bullshit and stuff. But it just too theory.
February 18, 2016
Although I thought the author was a bit crass, I actually liked the book. This was the January book of the month for the book club I'm in. I'm married and don't really need to follow any of her tips, but she makes some sense. There are actually some good points made in the book.
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February 17, 2011So Far so good;)
September 3, 2011
Advice may help and was more suited for younger ladies. No longer playing these games at 60 plus.
September 6, 2011
FUNNY & insightful!
April 25, 2012
There are some good points BUT all of which you would already know by being street smart!
June 25, 2013
Straight to the point...ladies wake up approach is awesome. She touch on some thingd i could relate to and take heed. Great read if your going through some things in regards to relationships.
July 23, 2013
Basically that common sense us girls tend to block out when we fall for a douchebag. Definitely funny and a good reminder.
May 4, 2014
I really enjoyed the parts of the book I could relate to and the other parts were at least entertaining... Would definitely recommend
January 8, 2016
Horrible .
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews